September, Oh How I Love Thee....

September really is one of my favourite months of the year. Birthdays are the main thing but I like it when it starts to get cooler but not too cold and not too wet.  So, here's what has happened since the last post.

1. Baby boy is now 4. FOUR years of being a mother to 3 little boys and I really can't remember life before it. This is where I am supposed to be in the world.

2. Liam's birthday was centered on him. He went to nursery then daddy and I took him to the local soft play center. He LOVED it. There were only 4 other kids in there at the busiest time so he ran himself ragged for 3 hours.

3. We collected the big brothers from school and went out for a meal at a local public house. Liam had his favourite dinner of jacket potato with beans and cheese and a blackcurrant fruit shoot drink. The kids then played out in the park.

4. James surprised us with how co-ordinated he is these days and with his agility.

5. We then went home for birthday cake. Liam blew out the candle and the kids tucked into a third of a cake between them with squirty cream. The cake was supposed to serve 16!

6. Liam had been invited to a party on the Saturday before his birthday but we chose to go away for the weekend instead.

7. What a mistake that was! The weather was ok but there had been rain and the park had 6 inches of water at the bottom of the slides and under the swings. The kids indoor play area was over-run by older kids and the staff didn't seem to care. The entertainment was cringeworthy but fine if you like hearing "OMG" and "LOL" EVERY 30 SECONDS. It was too much. It hurt my brain. For the first time ever we left a getaway break early not feeling we could do it another day.

8. The day after was hubby's birthday.  We dropped the kids in town and went for breakfast in a town restaurant. It was nice to have a rest day.

9. Hubby has run out of petrol TWICE this week. We've discovered that when the tank is low, we shouldn't park on a hill. Also, we've discovered that the fuel light that tells you that you are very low on petrol only seems to come on when it's virtually running on empty.

10. Today I have driven the car for the first time in about 8 weeks.

11. Liam has gone up a year in age but up about 3 or 4 years in tv preference. He no longer likes Disney JR but loves Disney XD.  He now has 2 new favourite tv shows. Phineas and Ferb and Crash and Bernstein. How can it be so? My little man likes this sort of stuff already!

12. Still on the subject of Liam, he's being a bit of a naughty boy at school. Nothing major, just a case of being in a little trouble with his teachers for being a bit pushy and rough with other kids. Not spitefully, but just a bit "bumpy" when someone is in the way and being a little bossy. We think (and hope) it's because the dynamics have changed. He's no longer the little one, he knows he is one of the oldest in the class and is demonstrating that. He's always been the little one, the one at the bottom of the food chain so to speak so now he has found a new "power" of age, size and strength all in one go and is discovering new boundaries with his teachers.

13. Matthew and James are happy with their school and James is getting on very well with his new books. He's on the picture books before learning to read. He's doing so well and loves going into school.

14. I had my smear test last week. Nothing has come back yet so fingers crossed that is good. My nurse thought I may need a repeat one as she wasn't sure she had enough cells. So far I've not been recalled nor had a scary hospital letter.

15. Finally, this is my last weekend of being 32. Monday I turn 33 and head rapidly to my mid 30's. On Friday, bestie and I are off out for a curry and visiting some of the public houses in the village on a girls night out. I do actually like being in my 30's. I'm more self assured and confident in myself in these years. I am not trying to please others all the time, I'm happy to have my voice heard and I am happy to be able to do everything I need to for the kids. I've dedicated their early years to them and I would like to think that by this time next year or at least by the time I'm 36 I can be back at work with the knowledge that my children are in school and being looked after so I can think about contributing to the household. I just need to find a job that's ideally 9-3, Monday to Friday term time only and maybe, well, ideally, have a day in the week off too to catch up with friends and housework rather than squeeze it all into a weekend. I guess that is me and a few million other women wanting those hours. :)

10 Years

Yesterday would have been my 10th wedding anniversary.

What can I say about that?

I was 22, I was too old to be dubbed "too young" when I married. I made my choice, I had a baby on the way and I just got rolled away in the moment.

A moment that seemed out of my control. Life snowballed at an incredible rate and being pregnant, I thought it was for the best for baby.

I'm far from a control freak, though I often joke about it as I like to be organised - there is a difference but at the time I felt I was doing it for everyone else but myself. My baby, my ex, my family. Everyone seemed so excited for the first wedding in the immediate family since 1980, I  was the first child and first grandchild, first niece to marry so there was alot of excitement surrounding it all.

Excitement from everyone but myself.

I didn't want to be a single mum. I didn't want baby to know his mum didn't try to make a go of it with his dad but I didn't want to keep on living in a hostile relationship.

I've said it before and I've said it again, the only reason I went through with it was because of fear of letting everyone else down.

But hey, that's all in the past. Thank God for divorce eh?

Return To School

Well, it's official. My little cherubs are back at school.

James looked great in his little uniform although I swear he's grown an inch or two as his trousers aren't so long as they were.

 My poser James!

 Under the tree at school.

My 3 boys on the way to school yesterday complete with book bags, pe bags and lunch.

The following photo shows that at times, James still has such a baby face!

Still so little and innocent looking.

The first day was a major success. He just went in as directed by his teachers and went off. He came out of school happy but tired and seemed to really enjoy his day.

This morning was a different story altogether.

He got ready great, walked to school brilliantly, even waited patiently as we were early. As the doors opened we were about halfway back and 2 kids in front began to cry. So James joined in. He was dragged in sobbing.

The routine in nursery was that parents take the children in, help them put away coats and bags and encourage them to find their name stickers for the attendance wall but this new routine is much more grown up. You say goodbye to mum or dad at the door and go straight into the classroom. Starting as the mean to go on.

It did not help this morning that I had to go in the door right next door (the one he used to use) with Liam as it was his first day today. Most kids in the reception class were quite happy settling in with each other sorting out book bags and the like with James and the other 3 crying kids didn't look at all happy.

James was shooting me evils for being in with Liam and putting on the most sorrowful, emotionally blackmailing face as he saw me across the room. I just waved my boys off and left. Horrid mother that I am. Ha!

I know it's all for show, I've seen it with other kids regularly and as soon as mum has gone, then the need for sympathy disperses by the time mum is out of sight.

I did catch sight of him later when I went to collect Liam. Needless to say, he was happy running about shouting and laughing with his best friend Ryan. The teacher let me pass him a hat over the school gate as it was blooming scorching hot today and he was happy to run back in ready for lunch when they were called in.

Liam LOVED his first day at the "BIG nursery" He is very fond of his teachers and came home with a painting and a paper plate covered in sticky stars. Liam is going to be the creative one. One of his teachers said he did cry at one point when they were getting ready to go home. He saw James playing outside and was upset that he had to sit down and wait to go rather than go back outside to play. He seemed very happy to be there, happy to get home and after a quick lunch promptly fell asleep on the sofa for a well earned nap!

Matthew is a typical "Big Boy" of school. When asked how his new teacher is, she's "alright". Does he think he'll be ok in that year? "Yeah". What did you do today Matthew? "Not much" What are you learning this term? "I don't know. Maths, English, books, bit of history - the normal!" Agh - When do males learn the art of conversation?!

So then, two days in and it's a bit of a settling in jobby for the next couple of weeks. Let's see if we have more tears tomorrow.......

September September September

It seems no time at all since we began thinking of the school holidays.

Tomorrow my big boys go back. We then have a home appointment with 2 of Liams teachers then he begins his new nursery on Thursday.

Where has the Summer gone?

Last week we noticed an abundance of berries on bushes and trees, the leaves are already turning and falling, the nights getting longer.

Summer in England has been good this year. I note this now as it's been against the normal pattern for the last few years of hot but wet. Let's be honest,on the whole we Brits LOVE to talk about the weather, we LOVE to complain about it. It's too hot, too cold, too wet. We'll find something to complain about. In the summer it's light too early, the kids won't sleep as it's light too late. We have people who complain about the lot.

I however, always state to be a realist and I enjoy the little bits of nature that we can't control. I like the light evenings, I like the bright mornings. I don't even mind if we have a wet summer.  We are an Island, rather a small island compared to many places and common sense denotes that islands tend to be wetter. Why? Water surrounds us, the water cycle is something we all learn young (Year 2 or age 7 over here) but it seems 90% of people forget that. They don't seem to understand the laws of science that states that the hotter it gets, in theory, the more water is evaporated into the sky, creates clouds and therefor rains. Air pressure has been different this year so we have had a drier summer but we recently had a really bad rain storm which caused a lot of flooding not too far from where we live.

Last week, I had a moment and got my hair cut shorter. About 6 inches shorter to a choppy jaw length bob. Whilst I don't hate it it's something I am getting used to. I will be growing it long again.

Two weeks ago, we were rather busy with the electrics. Tv on, computer on, all general things working as normal, heating the oven for dinner and so forth when the power went off. It turned out something had tripped the fuse. We restarted everything and it went again after about 15 seconds. Worried about electrics we unplugged a few things in the living room and tried again. This time all was fine. We, for some reason decided to boycott the original plan for dinner and get a takeaway. The next day was our anniversary so I cooked Steak, chips, salad and the like. The Thursday I put the oven on to do lunch and after 30 minutes I realised that the oven wasn't heating up. The fan was on, the light was on, no heat. So I did a little investigation work a la Google to discover the element that heats the electric oven had gone. We were able to use the hob and top oven in the mean time (dual oven) but it was frustrating that the main oven wasn't working. We got it fixed last week for a nice little set back of £72. We could have got the part off ebay for £10 but whilst hubby is normally good at DIY type things, he didn't want to risk taking apart our £600 cooker and getting it wrong. He intently watched as the repair man did the job and said if it ever happened again he'd be able to do it.

When the kids are back at school I am going to start baking again. I haven't made a cake for a while but I want to do one and I have an idea for Liams birthday cake in a couple of weeks. I just want to practice it first. Watch this space.

Anniversary Weekend - The Third One

I thought I had better catch up whilst I have 5 minutes of sanity in the house. Ok, I admit, that's probably the biggest lie I've told in a while. That only occurs when they are at school. I am just choosing to ignore them for half an hour. The kids are beginning to drive me mad.

The weekend away was just what I needed but a week and a half later it all seems a distant memory already.

We left bright and early on the Saturday morning and our first port of call was the city of Ely. We did a quick wander around the town area. It was a beautiful little place. It's a city in the "old rites". By this I mean, compared to other towns and certainly to other cities, Ely is quite a small place but going back to when the town earned city status it would have been high in population and a thriving area. These days it seems like an average town in size but boasts of this beautiful Cathedral.

We actually stayed at St Ives in Cambridgeshire. A pretty little town that is about half an hour away from Ely or about an hour from home. The town was a little smaller than Ely but had lots going on. We went on market day and it was busy but a lovely environment.

We were lucky to be staying somewhere incredibly central. The picture above shows our hotel as the white building just in front of the church. We stayed in a lovely room in a pub that looked traditional from the outside but the inside was very very modern and a great place. They warned on the booking website that they had live DJ's at the weekend but they were very fair when it came to finishing times. Not that hubby and I worry. We're always happy to be up late and it's nice that we can chill in the same building we're sleeping in.

 We arrived early and took a little tour of the town first. We had a nice walk around somewhere completely new and decided to stop for a drink at one of the many pubs. The pub we went to was situated on a beautiful river and this was the view as we sat outside.

There are a number of boathouses along the river and being a Saturday afternoon, the river was busy with the odd boat on a little cruise. It was lovely relaxing in the sun child free.

We booked in at the hotel, dropped off the bags and er.... well, ya know, kid free.... anniversary.... you catch my drift.... spent a bit of time in our room and dozed whilst watching a film before getting ready for our evening out.

I had had a headache half the day but a little snooze seemed to make it better. How wrong I was! We went to a very trendy pub and whilst I had a glass of wine, I began to feel really sick as well as having the back end of my headache. I began to feel more and more sick to the point I really didn't think I could eat but we'd made a reservation in a tiny chinese restaurant (All the restaurants apart from the pubs were small due to the traditional style of the town) and hubby said it was just probably because I hadn't eaten much. So I settled for a glass of water with my meal, It was like a buffet restaurant but instead of getting the food yourself, they bring the food to you freshly cooked as 6 courses. Course 1 was a chinese starter platter. Sesame prawn toast. Coconut Chicken. Squid in tempura batter. Crispy Seaweed. Satay chicken. Prawn Crackers with dips and I am sure there was more but as soon as I started eating I DID begin to feel better. I didn't think I'd manage much food at all but once I started I felt so much better it was amazing the transformation. We then had soup, followed by crispy lamb pancakes with hoi sin sauce, spring onion and cucumber, followed by a meat main - I chose a light battered king prawns with sweet and sour sauce and a side of noodles with beansprouts. We could have had seconds of any of the courses but we found that we had had enough. It was a very enjoyable meal and the staff were top standard. They were sweet, funny, knowledgable and made us feel very welcome. We'd certainly go back there again.

After that we went back to the hotel bar (It was getting on for 10.30pm) and enjoyed a drink on the terrace watching all the really drunk people in the smoking area below. It was rather funny. The pub was vibrant and looked to be thriving. At 11.30pm as they said, they called Last Orders. The music stopped at 11.45 and they began requesting people to leave at 12. Most of the revellers appeared to be heading to a club down the road but we had been up early, plus we're old and not into clubs anymore, so we headed off to bed.

In the morning we had a freshly cooked English Breakfast in the hotel which was included in our booking deal. It was excellent quality and again, the waitress was very good and left a great lasting impression of St Ives and  The Golden Lion Hotel in general. (Click it for more pictures and details)

On the Sunday morning we had a quick trip to one of our favourite shops kiddy free and got one of Liams birthday presents. Sometimes, it's just nice to see things and go places without the distraction of small people who don't want to be there.

We were home fairly early due to hubby having to take his mum home.

We didn't do much on our anniversary itself as we'd done the weekend away and on the Tuesday hubby bought a little surprise home from work.

This is Tilly, the newest member of the family. She was found on one of hubby's work sites and is officially a stray so rather than have her come to harm in a big water tank, he bought her home. The kids love her and she seems to have grown so much in a week already.

We don't know how she got to the water works. The nearest houses are 5 miles away so she either got out too early and got lost or was dumped in a field. We don't have any idea how old she is so we will have to get her along to the local vets to determine that and when to get her sterilised. She's really good, very playful and she must have had some time in a family home as she knew how to work the cat litter tray straight away so apart from being a little skinny, she wasn't neglected. She isn't allowed out for another 2 weeks but she seems very happy.

Three Years

Sometimes it's just easier to steal the words of Bon Jovi......

"Thank You For Loving Me"

It's hard for me to say the things
I want to say sometimes
There's no one here but you and me
And that broken old street light
Lock the doors
We'll leave the world outside
All I've got to give to you
Are these five words tonight

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn't see
For parting my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me

I never knew I had a dream
Until that dream was you
When I look into your eyes
The sky's a different blue
Cross my heart
I wear no disguise
If I tried, you'd make believe
That you believed my lies

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn't see
For parting my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me

You pick me up when I fall down
You ring the bell before they count me out
If I was drowning you would part the sea
And risk your own life to rescue me

Lock the doors
We'll leave the world outside
All I've got to give to you
Are these five words tonight

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn't see
You parted my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me

When I couldn't fly
Oh, you gave me wings
You parted my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me

Good Bits and Bad Bits

Bonjour dearest friends.

I've been trying to update for a week but I have so much going through my crazy little mind I didn't have a point to start nor stop. I had plans for all sorts of posts yet they never came to fruition but in short, here's a little mish-mash of everything I can find.

1) Liam is 100% off nappies. 2 weeks, no nappies, 2 wet beds. 1 was the very first night and the second was the first night I didn't take him to the toilet when I went to bed myself. Every other night he did it himself with success. So that's it, no more babies, no more toddlers, just big boys in my house now!

2) These pictures amaze me. Photo 1 is my instagram photo of the little man himself.

Picture 2 is his great great great paternal grandmother, that' his dad's nan's nan or his great nan's nan. My mother in law has been working on the family tree and found this picture of his great ancestor Anne who was born in 1868. They have the same nose, the same mouth and very similar eyes. It's AMAZING that the web can find such treasures. I'm very interested to see what else the family tree brings  up.

3) Hubby was sleep talking the other night and it was so funny. I was having one of my "awake when I should be asleep" episodes and I turned over to get more comfortable he said to me "Don't knock into me, I'm shooting!" I replied "You're shooting?" and he responded, "Yes, shooting, watch out!" Before anyone worries that my hubby gas some odd tendencies towards firearms, I'll just point out that country living seems to have soaked into us both. A few of his work friends regularly go out game hunting, shooting pheasants and partridges and other game birds and he has been invited along a few times and has expressed an interest but I don't know if he'll ever go. It's an expensive "sport" even if you do shoot your own dinner.

4) James appears to have a wobbly tooth. He's not 5 for almost 3 months and it's one of the teeth he hurt a couple of years back so hopefully it's a good sign that it's growing ok underneath. The other tooth is still up in his gum and we'll have to see what happens about that but the other one looks promising.

5) I've been feeling a bit bleugh, this week. Not down, not unwell, just "off" I can't explain it. Maybe it's a bit of Mother Nature reminding me that even though I don't have the monthly visit from AF, I still have female bits and female emotions. I've been just, angsty, angry at the world and worn out. You know, that proper PMT feeling where all humankind are annoying, especially the male ones who make a mess and don't clear it up. Kids who leave Lego everywhere and generally.....er... generally feeling like I did when I was pregnant with the boys.

6) The kids have been playing together great this week but I am getting fed up of the school holidays now. They seem to be dragging now. I know in the US and Canada thoughts are heading towards going back to school but we still have another 2 and a half weeks to go. James and Matthew go back September 4th and Liam begins September 5th. So we still have quite a time to go.

7) We have most of James' school kit. He just needs PE shirts. I only want one but they sell them in packs of 3. I find this annoying!

8) Last week I made my 25lb diet goal. This week I haven't stopped eating and put on 3lbs. Poo.

9) Hubby is finishing work early today, picking up his mum and bringing her back for a nice Indian meal tonight and she will sleep over tonight so we can be on our way nice and early tomorrow for our day/night out in Cambridgeshire tomorrow. I am looking forward to a "mummy day off" These are very few and far between.

10) I always say every year seems to have a theme. This year seems to be focussed upon marriage. Whilst a lot of friends are marrying this year, I know of 6 couples celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary (If I hadn't left my ex, it would be my 10th anniversary next year too) and 2013 seems to be a year for break ups too. Whilst a marriage breakup is sad for all involved, it's also a very PERSONAL thing and I will never judge anyone on their reasons. For some, it's a release from an unhappy place and can make a person a much better person. This is how I felt with my marriage split and I know it's like that for someone else. It's only letting go of someone when you realise that life can really be good. I'm no expert on the case of marriage, separation or divorce, but alot of my understanding of it all came after time. Over the years, I've looked back and that I realised that the main things that caused us to split were just the icing on the cake. Looking back, there were so many other things where I felt I was being taken for granted, that I wasn't happy about that situation, that sometimes, I don't think I was ever happy with him. I just got carried away in the "new romance" stage, fell pregnant, married and it all just snowballed. So much happened so quick and at times I felt powerless as to how quick everything happened and I felt SO MUCH GUILT. I felt I had to marry for my unborn baby, he deserved a family. I felt I should marry for the sake of my family and to keep him and them happy. The only person I wasn't keeping happy in this crazy crazy time was myself.

Unfortunately it took an unhappy marriage to realise exactly what I didn't want in relationships but when I met hubby 2, everything seemed right. Admittedly, James and Liam did come along quickly but we were happy and it wasn't the kids what kept us together. We were happy from the beginning, he took on and stood up to my stupid ex and was happy to take on a stepson where many men would run for the hills. Even though this was a whirlwind relationship (I don't do things by halves!) it was the opposite of the last. It took time to meet the right person, I dabbled with dating before I met him but have never looked back. We married within 3 years of being together, we had the kids, did the house move then married so it was fully back to front compared to "conventional" families. But what is conventional these days.

11) Remind me to do that post on "Parental Politics" I've done similar before but I have new ideas on school run mum.

12) I've been reading more again this week. 4 books in a week is good. One on Guilt Free Parenting (very funny hence my inspiration for number 11) and 3 murder mysteries. Two were short books and 1 really was rather poor to be quite honest but my newest book was the best book I have read in a long time. I will certainly be looking out for more from this author.

13) I'm feeling rather happy and chirpy today so I'm going to share my favourite song of the year so far. I can't wait until the album comes out on Sept 16th - my bubba's birthday:



Not normally a fan of the "country sound" but I love this DJ!

24.5 and other numbers

I don't often talk about my weight in this blog. I save most of that for the Weight Watchers blog and members community boards but there is something in me this time that makes me determined to succeed. As of my weigh in last Saturday I am 0.5lb from 25lb and therefor, 3.5lbs from my 2 stone marker.  I have a long long way to go but I am feeling so much better, happier with myself and confident these days it's been worth every bit of hard work watching what I eat, exercising and worth every penny I've spent. (Membership costs £11 per month which I find VERY reasonable)

Right now I am really into my Just Dance on the Wii. I am getting better every time I go on, my scores rise and I feel my arms working hard. I walk alot which helps the bottom, thighs and legs so overall I have a good body system going.

I really want to meet that 3.5lb weight loss goal by next Saturday (Aug 17th) as hubby and I are having a day out followed by a hotel stay to celebrate our third wedding anniversary. THREE years of marriage already! Wow. That's longer than my first marriage and we've still never had a single falling out. hehe.

It's funny to think that when we first met I was actually still married.

Bad bad girl. wink wink. 

I used to tease him that he only wanted me as I was a married woman and he wanted the challenge. I even mentioned it the other day and he admitted he'd forgotten that I was married when we met.

Of course, I was separated and in the process of divorce but for the average person, it can take some time. Last week, about 4 weeks after their public problems and 3 weeks after divorce was mentioned, Nigella Lawson and her husband Charles Saatchi divorced over a 90 second court meeting. The Power of money. I was in limbo awaiting a divorce for almost 2 years. There were "technical issues". Namely that my solicitor lost her license for legal aid funding. As I was a single mum who initiated the divorce I didn't have to pay. We had no assets to fight over so it was a simple case of getting the marriage annulled. However, she left 9 months in and a new solicitor took over all her cases as well as her own and in January 2009 the divorce was finally official despite the separation taking place in May 2007 and I met hubby November 2008.

Looking back, those dates seem so far away now. So much in life has changed and mostly for the better.

So, all of a sudden we're looking forward to a lovely little night off to enjoy our 3 years of marriage and plan to have a nice meal out, a few drinks and enjoy a real date night.