The happiest of souls, James is always smiling or singing.
His vocabulary is growing by the day, even if much of it is contributed by kids tv.
He is learning all the time. He can count to 5 at the moment and will ask for specific things.
He's a smart little cookie already.
He is creative loving nothing more than his chalkboard and chalks, or playing with his trains. He is forever taking apart the tracks and trying to put them together in a different way. This can cause the odd bit of frustration in a boy, but he is learning all the time.
When I last posted, I was having a particularly crap day with the kids and dog. I see myself as a realist blogger. I don't just blog on the sugar and sweetness of life with kids and a family, I am true enough to admit that some days are just too much to bear. I had a few days of stresses that had built up. The kids were hyper, the dog was crazy and causing at least one child to cry whenever she spent more than 5 seconds in the room with them. The little nips and cuts on the kids were far too evident and I need a break from time to time. I'm only human too. I was feeling cut off from friends who had cancelled plans on me last weekend and I was incredibly pissed off. The more I thought about things, the more I hated life. The more I thought about things, the more I felt like I was just living for everyone but myself and failing at keeping anyone happy.
When I do get on a downer, it does tend to spiral quickly.
It all came to a head later the day of said post when I yelled at the kids and dog so much I burst into tears.......
On three very separate occassions......
In the space of an hour..............
I then spent the next two hours apologising to the kids for being such a shit mother and telling them they deserved better than me before sending the kids to bed.
When I tried to speak to hubby about it when he got home from work I was still close to tears explaining how much of a failure I feel that I couldn't cope with kids and a puppy. I'd already said to him earlier in the week that I was feeling stressed and that I had a feeling that my blood pressure was high. At times I could feel it rising! I even half joked that at this rate, I wouldn't be allowed my contraceptive injection in 2 weeks if things didn't calm down.
My meltdown afternoon did appear to do the trick and I have been feeling much brighter since that awful afternoon.
It wasn't all bad I suppose. I rid myself of frustrations, cleared my mind and was able to get out what I ahad been bottling up.
ALSO, somehow, despite 2 takeaways and eating half my weight in chocolate and chocolate biscuits, I miraculously lost 4lb between Saturday and Wednesday. So, with that in mind, it's kicked me back into watching what I eat now and with the exercise I get daily, I am trying to boost my self esteem with losing weight again. I said to hubby the other day my jeans felt looser on my thighs again so it is noticable in my clothes if not in appearance. So maybe a couple of weeks stress was what I needed to get on the straight and narrow again.
She is doing well with the toilet training, We do still wake up to puddles and she does take some persuasion to go outside when it's as cold and wet as it is right now.
So things are getting there.
I'm glad things have turned around for you- they always do! That puppy is just adorable- those puppy dog eyes! But I know how puppies can be and how frustrating it can get. ;)
ReplyDelete