Dreams Nearly Always Make Sense When You Look Deeper

Last night I had a slightly disturbing dream.

We were on a family day out. Myself, hubby, his mum, and the 3 little boys. We were taking the boys on a train as James and Liam particularly love them.

We arrived at our destination which was the end of the line and got off the train.

Well, all but two of us did.

We had forgotten to get the babies off.

I watched in horror as the train began to back away from the station.

Hubby ran after the train in panic as it sped up and slowly disappeared into the distance. I was distraught and in tears, I then woke up.

With a little work this morning, I came up with the following:

"Watching a train leaving the station is a sign of an evitable separation."

It seemed so strange to dream this the night James began pre-school. In a years time, I will be doing the same with Liam. I think my brain is preparing me to accept that these little boys are little boys and no longer my babies. Whilst I am incredibly proud of who and what my little men have become and are becoming, I realise I am having to let go of my babies. That they are becoming real little people in their own rights.

They are both already so independent already, it just makes me feel that they need me just that little bit less once they start schooling of some kind.

Needless to say James loved his day at pre-school yesterday. He wouldn't eat his packed lunch but he's at a stage where if he doesn't want to eat he wont. He's the same at home too so it wasn't a real surprise. What did surprise me was about mid-way through the day, James had a little time upset. 90 minutes after I had left him there he realised I wasn't there. He calmed down when he was allowed a play in the garden.

When I went to collect him, the kids were all sitting on chairs in a circle waiting for their mums or dads. It was so cute seeing them acting all grown up at such a young age. It really did fill me with pride. James bought home a painting, a library book for us to look through and discuss and a little folder for me to fill in as his "All about me" file. I need to fill in things he likes, dislikes, favourite toys, favourite foods. He can draw pictures of his house and family and practice writing his name. I think it's great for them and will make a wonderful keepsake in the future.

Liam didn't seem too worried James wasn't around. We had quite a nice quiet morning just the two of us which he seemed to enjoy.