It is very rare that I find people I don't like.
It is even more rare that I should take an instant dislike to someone from the moment I meet them.
They say first impressions last and they do. However, I am the type of person to give everyone a chance to prove me wrong. To give them a chance for me to bow my head and admit that I was wrong and that I was wrongfully judgemental.
A few months back I wrote about a certain person who lives in the village that I really did not like. She was very sure of herself, very pushy, persuasive and just annoyed the hell out of me because of her over the top mannerisms. She really was far too self confident for her own good and I really did not feel a connection with her. Yet, despite my misgivings, I gave friendship a go to ignore my gut feelings and get to know her before I judged her. She works at James's playgroup so thought for his sake I should not let my initial feelings bother me and try to get on for HIS sake.
This is where I really wish I had listened to my first instincts.
My first impressions are RARELY wrong. If I think someone seems a bit of bitch, then generally they are!
Last week Liam was supposed to have a hospital appointment and that was booked for a Wednesday. It is the only day James goes to pre-school so I asked if he could go on a different day instead. I didn't even suggest which day and Madam says all days are now full. 2 weeks ago they were struggling for numbers and did not know if they would be re-opening after christmas. Ok, I think to myself - maybe she's having a bad day and gave her the benefit of a doubt. (Incidently that appointment has been put back to January 13th due to being booked in with the wrong consultant)
Now this week, upon leaving nursery this week I ask if the Christmas party is open to all and if I could bring Liam like I did for the summer party. That was an extravagant affair where all kids in the village were invited and it was a lovely day! She was hesitant. So I said that's ok, I just didn't know the set up but would James still be able to go since it wasn't his normal day for going but I assumed that the party was for all the toddlergroup kids since it was mentioned in the newsletter and they had a huge poster outside advertising it. Again, she was hesitant and said probably not. Then she quickly corrected herself and said she would have to check and find out! Surely this should have been her first response and not an afterthought?
I AM taking it very personally. Everything was FINE until we decided to switch schools. Now if she has a problem with me about that then that's fine but I don't expect my 3 year old son to miss out on things like his Christmas party because of MY choices. I am incredibly angry about this and feel that the kids should be treated equally and a Christmas party should be for EVERY child that attends that group. It's his last session at Playgroup on Wednesday and the party is Thursday. Out of principal now, if we are offered a place at the party I will refuse. I don't believe kids should be shunned because of one member of staff who can't be bothered to find out there and then if he can go and makes it clear she really doesn't care!
I understand the toddlergroup is in trouble with getting enough kids to go but it was partially because of that reason that James is getting into Matthews school. I know he'll get in and it won't be a mad rush if the playgroup closes for a number of kids to get into the local school. I am just putting my kids first.
SO..... If I am so unhappy with this member of staff why am I not complaining to her boss? Because her mum is her boss and she's a lovely woman. I feel bad for her mum that her job is at risk but that doesn't excuse the way my child has been victimised in this instance. Plus, like I said there is only 1 more week for him but I thought the party would be a nice way for his time at the playgroup to end on a high. It appears others don't think that way.
So I am really disappointed in James's toddlergroup. I will NOT be recommending it to others and I very much doubt I will be sending Liam there after Easter if this woman still works there. It's not worth the aggro and I'd rather avoid this woman at all costs.
A new year resolution will be to trust my instincts. To not feel bad if I don't like someone. To not try to befriend them and to accept that some people are really not worth the effort.
The Mom deserves to know what her daughter is doing to the children. She needs to be told about the Christmas thing too, so she can understand how people feel about her daughter.
ReplyDeleteI would NICELY take the Mom aside, exlain about the Christmas thing, ask if the policy is for children who go on Wednesdays to be excluded,and then, when she says that of course they aren't excluded, I would then explain what happened.
As a mom, I would likely let my child go. Children don't understand the things we do, and they don't really understand why they can't go. Yes, you would be right, but here in the States we call it being "Dead right".
It's like still going straight when someone turns in front of you. You would be correct to proceed, but you would still be dead!
I will wager that Mumsie dearest has no clue as to why she is losing her children, and the daughter is the answer. She may be angry, but then you have lost nothing, and you have done what you could about the situation. Hope this makes sense!
Go with your gut my friend. I think it is something we don't do often enough!
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