Today I had to drop Matthew at school a few minutes early. I let him go down to the doors a good 5 minutes before the doors open and to play with his friends before school starts. I don't normally do this but I had to be back home for as close to 9am as possilble due to a workman coming to fix our front gate and replaster part of a wall in Matthews bedroom. We got to school early, rushed back to be home for 8.55am and now it's just after 9.30 and yup, you guessed it, not a workman in sight.
It just feels like that's how June can be summed up this year.
Alot of racing around, alot of trying to please others and getting tied in knots and feeling deflated by the let downs despite my best efforts.
It seems the that the general feel for this month amongst most people I know has been that of bleugh.
I know my situation isn't helped by the fact today would have been my Grandads 80th birthday. My mum and nan have obviously been feeling pressure too in the past week or so. It's been a funny few weeks.
James has been off nursery this week. He seemed very tired out on Sunday but went in on Monday. It was evident on his return that he still had no energy. I literally had to drag him home from school. Tuesday was pretty much the same and he hadn't really eaten much since Friday evening. So I think part of his major lethagy was lack of food. Yesterday though he did eat a fair amount of snacks and half his dinner so I know he is on the mend. This is particularly good for me since I have had wall to wall whinging and whining from him for those days. A constant hum of unhappiness since he could not explain what was making him feel ill/sad. As much as we love them there does come a point where as a mum you feel "if he cries again, then so am I". It can really wear down the most cheerful optimistic of people (ie Moi) when you have kids that aren't at their best. On top of this Liam has been a daredevil and been having bumps of all sorts. From opening the door hard and bashing himself round the head with the straight edge of the door resulting in a raised lump and bruise on his forehead to falling off the sofa and bumping the same part of his head. He now tends to have a bruise on a bruise.
Throw in the kids refusing to go to bed, Matthew doing whatever I say no to (or so it feels) and I am a big mess of a mum feeling that no matter what I do, I can't please anyone, let alone everyone. Any efforts I make to do anything feel to be in vain.
I love them all more than words could ever say, but every now and then, a mum deserves a breather. Motherhood certainly does have it's challenging days/weeks.
On the plus side, it's only 3 weeks and a few days until our holiday. I have £40 of vouchers to spend on new clothes before I go too. I also need a haircut and a splash of a new colour. I need to start feeling good again and a few changes and could do me good.
I am thinking of going short with my hair.
But when I say short I mean Long-short not short-short so I can still have a little movement and play with pretty little hairclips and things.
Something like Exhibit A.
Or possibly even Exhibit B.
I am no hair expert but I actually think they are pretty much the same cut. Just B is a more relaxed way of A thats been straightened and sprayed to the hilt.
What do you think? I need a bit of a change and I am feeling brave enough to take the plunge. Maybe as early as next week, if not that soon then certainly by the time I go on holiday.
It just feels like that's how June can be summed up this year.
Alot of racing around, alot of trying to please others and getting tied in knots and feeling deflated by the let downs despite my best efforts.
It seems the that the general feel for this month amongst most people I know has been that of bleugh.
I know my situation isn't helped by the fact today would have been my Grandads 80th birthday. My mum and nan have obviously been feeling pressure too in the past week or so. It's been a funny few weeks.
James has been off nursery this week. He seemed very tired out on Sunday but went in on Monday. It was evident on his return that he still had no energy. I literally had to drag him home from school. Tuesday was pretty much the same and he hadn't really eaten much since Friday evening. So I think part of his major lethagy was lack of food. Yesterday though he did eat a fair amount of snacks and half his dinner so I know he is on the mend. This is particularly good for me since I have had wall to wall whinging and whining from him for those days. A constant hum of unhappiness since he could not explain what was making him feel ill/sad. As much as we love them there does come a point where as a mum you feel "if he cries again, then so am I". It can really wear down the most cheerful optimistic of people (ie Moi) when you have kids that aren't at their best. On top of this Liam has been a daredevil and been having bumps of all sorts. From opening the door hard and bashing himself round the head with the straight edge of the door resulting in a raised lump and bruise on his forehead to falling off the sofa and bumping the same part of his head. He now tends to have a bruise on a bruise.
Throw in the kids refusing to go to bed, Matthew doing whatever I say no to (or so it feels) and I am a big mess of a mum feeling that no matter what I do, I can't please anyone, let alone everyone. Any efforts I make to do anything feel to be in vain.
I love them all more than words could ever say, but every now and then, a mum deserves a breather. Motherhood certainly does have it's challenging days/weeks.
On the plus side, it's only 3 weeks and a few days until our holiday. I have £40 of vouchers to spend on new clothes before I go too. I also need a haircut and a splash of a new colour. I need to start feeling good again and a few changes and could do me good.
I am thinking of going short with my hair.
But when I say short I mean Long-short not short-short so I can still have a little movement and play with pretty little hairclips and things.
Something like Exhibit A.
Or possibly even Exhibit B.
What do you think? I need a bit of a change and I am feeling brave enough to take the plunge. Maybe as early as next week, if not that soon then certainly by the time I go on holiday.
I think we all seem to have those kind of days/weeks. You are a great Mum though, so you have to try and not be so hard on yourself. And as for the haircut, I love it, epscially the Mandy Moore version. You have to post pictures once it's been cut!!
ReplyDelete