All The Small Things

When you become a parent, you realise ALL the small things in life are not so small.

That leaf falling off a tree is doing so to make way for the next season. That leaf becomes a thing of wonder to a small child. The shape, the colour, the texture, it is more than just a leaf to a little person.

That puddle was just made for jumping in.

The little things are what the little people love most.

Today I am a little bit... maybe not tearful....but definitely emotional. I am very much aware of those days beginning to fall away from us.

Liam is growing up far too fast. My "baby" is doing me so proud at the moment but I see his toddler days are fast disappearing.

Today, Liam bought this home from his playgroup:

The little darling is not 4 yet and beginning to write his name! If not, he made a great fakery of it. My baby is using a pen to write letters. I am so proud of him but at the same time, I'm giving up all the baby and toddler things.

Of course it's fantastic seeing them grow, seeing them learn, seeing them progress but it doesn't mean you don't miss the baby days.

It's 10 years to the week that I announced I was pregnant for the first time. My best friend married on May 24th (or 25th) and I was approximately 6-7 weeks pregnant at the time. I couldn't say nothing before because I wanted her day to be about her. I hid the nausea on the morning of her wedding. Whilst I was getting ready in my bridesmaid dress, having hair and make up done with her, the other bridesmaid and her mother they were all drinking champagne - I was sipping tea.  I have only ever drunk alot of tea when I have been pregnant. I had a small glass of wine with the meal to avert too much suspicion but I couldn't stomach it. Even after the wedding no-one noticed my lack of drink. We were all too busy having a good time and everyone else was quite jolly. Even when my ex and I were staying at the hotel she married at, we sneaked off early as I was worn out and feeling less than perfect. I blamed him saying he'd drunk too much. Ha! It wasn't all a lie, he had and I hadn't drunk anything.

It was when she was either the day after or the day she was due back from her honeymoon that I finally told her. I sent her a text along the lines of  "Congratulations, I hope she had had a good time and all that and here's to a great future. I've got a little bit of good news to share too, in January I'm going to be a mummy!!!"

That was 10 years ago. I remember it ALL so clearly. Those early days of pregnancy were filled with so much hope and love and even though my own relationship wasn't that amazing at the time, I had something, somebody to really focus on.

I'd never change my past for the world.

I may have gone through the mill a few times as well as under and over it but it's made me who I am and without a few wrong turns in the road, I wouldn't have reached todays path. Life's too short for regrets.

I can't believe it was 10 years ago that I first realised I was pregnant. That time has gone so fast and I am now stuck with this strapping young lad:

I am so proud of all my beautiful babies. xxxx