That Balance Between The Bubble And Reality With Kids.

Today we wake up to the shocking passing of Cory Monteith of Glee.

He was found deceased in his hotel room by staff after failing to check out of his room on time. The reason is yet to be discovered but the British press is very quick to jump to the previous media stories of his stints in rehab.

Of course, this could be a completely innocent. Sudden Adult Death Syndrome can happen to anyone at anytime or he could have had an underlying medical condition such as a heart defect but sadly, the way the press are reporting the story, they are very much speculating that drugs may be involved. Whether it be accidental or intentional remains to be seen as the actor also struggled publicly with depression. Again, whether it was depression that lead to alcohol and drug abuse or the other way round, we should respect that a young man has lost his life too soon.

We live in an incredibly judgemental world.

A world where it's easy to find someone else to blame, someone else to accuse and any factor for just about anything these days.

Right now his family and friends and many fans are in mourning for a young man who meant alot to them all.

It's ALWAYS easy to say you should never take drugs or drink to excess. We don't always know the reasons why people start. For some it is something they can remain strong with but for others it's a long downward spiral. It was well documented he started drinking heavily young and was in rehab for alcohol at 19, he's since been in for drugs. The last time he left rehab was just April. He had tried to get help but sadly, it looks like it wasn't enough.

Again, I repeat this may NOT be anything to do with drugs, but since I am writing this post I am proving to be just as judgemental and quick to jump to conclusions as much as everyone else. (I never said I was perfect!)

Having 3 boys, drugs is one of my main worries as they grow older. I have already spoken with Matthew today about the dangers of drugs. He's a smart boy but easily influenced. Education is a big part of prevention when it comes to the things teenagers could do. I'd rather be honest with Matthew and educate him right than to have him try things because he doesn't understand them. Yet, I don't want him to rebel and try them regardless either.

I know I am writing alot about parenting lately but there is very much a style to parenting. People will always have differing ideas. Some people like to keep their kids in a bubble and there will be real culture shocks as the children grow older. This is the main reason I disagree with homeschooling. Children need to mix with all sorts of people to see that everyone is different. They need to see good and bad in the world. They need to make up their own minds as they grow older and make calculated decisions on their own.

I won't always agree with my childrens choices as they don't always agree with mine (generally that I AM boss of them, not the other way round) and as children become older, they need to work out what is right and wrong on their own as well through living not just through textbooks and what mum and dad say.

I know some people won't agree with me talking about drugs with my 9 year old son.

It's one of those touchy subjects on how much you can protect a child from lifes brutalities but keep them informed enough to not make bad choices.

 I don't go into too much detail, I just explain that some drugs lead to stronger drugs and that people can't always give them up. When the drugs take over, the person becomes less of that person, they change and they aren't always nice people. Sometimes, drugs can kill and it's not worth getting started as it will only make too many people upset and worried about them.

I think he understands it all based on his levels of understanding.

Just what is that answer of  "this is what we should do" when the subject eventually comes up, to where is that fine line of overprotecting and being to brutal and realistic with kids.

There are good and bad parents out there. There are parents that do abuse alcohol and drugs in the family home then there are those who have never touched a drop of alcohol or ever experimented with drugs. In modern society, the latter is by far in the minority.

Even I like a little much drink occasionally. It has never taken over my life and I do not drink in the home. I drink less than I used to and I may go out for a drink and socialising about once a month. It will always be when I know my kids are in good company. A grandparent babysits and will do so overnight. Sometimes we go away for the night, sometimes we come back late after a few drinks but I don't come back in a terrible state. I am no longer a teen or in my twenties and I have bigger things to worry about. I have responsibilities now that I never had when I was younger but I did enjoy my young adult years. I don't even drink in my home. Maybe 1 small bottle of beer with a curry but beyond that I don't drink at home. Even with bbq's in summer I stick to soft drinks. Why? Because if something ever happened to the kids when I was under the influence so to speak, I would never forgive myself. I have a huge sense of responsibility and should I ever have to take a child to hospital then it would not look good if mum and dad were clearly drunk. I can't do that to my kids and I'd never cope with the guilt.

Like I said, I am no perfect parent, I need time for me too so like I said I go out and enjoy myself knowing that they are in capable hands should there be an emergency. All parents need a break and to be themselves rather than just be mum and dad but it's about keeping responsible in such times.

There's so much in life we cannot control. Accidents are unforeseen incidents that cannot be avoided and there are not always reasons why certain things happen.

Back to Cory, if his death is due to an accident or a medical reason then the press should be ashamed for making such a big deal of his damaged past. Unfortunately, all too often with the media, there is no smoke without fire and all too often a small part of something has been unintentionally leaked to make more accurate story before the real cause of death is announced.