I got TWO

I recently recieved two blogging awards. Thanks to Robin and Ashleigh.

Both of which require me to write 7 things about me!

(If you are having a nice day, skip depressing number 1!)

1. I have 2 major fears in life. Nuclear War and The End of The World. Right now Libya and nature are scaring the crap out of me. I know they are fairly irrational fears but thinking them and saying about them in a blog are two entirely different things. I apologise for being a freak. (I hasten to add, it's not just been Libya but before that I've had major fears of Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Russia, The Koreas, and now Libya so it's not a new thing, it's been going on years. Before anyone assumes I am a racist, I am not scared of these people, just their scary leaders who seem to have complete disregard for human life much of the time. Like I said I am a freak!)

2. For the past few years I have been thinking alot on how I can help others. One thing I would like to do is foster children who need loving families for a short time. My kids are growing up, we won't be having any more but I can get the joy of children and do something good back for society.

3. My diet ambition will be to get down to 154lbs. I still have a way to go but it's looking closer all the time.

4. I wish I had the oppertunity to swim more. Taking the kids to the swimming pool and swimming are two very different things.

5. Despite cycling 40km a day on a machine, I cannot actually ride a real bike.

6. As much as I complain about the UK, the government, the weather etc. I don't think I would ever emigrate. I am a creature of habit at times and whilst the idea of retiring in the sun is lovely, I'd still have most of my family in the UK and wouldn't leave them behind. I quite like this sleepy little island if the truth be known.

7.  I love shopping. I don't often buy things for myself but I do like to look around supermarkets and at things for the kids. I buy myself little things but tend to budget myself to £20 per month. I'd rather have the house well stocked with food and the kids get the little extras. Anything hubby buys me is always an additional bonus and I never fail to be thankful for anything.

Finally, on that little thought, here's another titbit of Becca wisdom.

8. I firmly believe that those who expect too much in life are those who are least happy. Those pushing for goals too high and think the world owes them something spend their lives chasing unrealistic dreams. Aim low, believe with all your heart and make it happen. Take one step at a time and look at the journey in small pieces rather than the final outcome. Small steps all add up to something much bigger in the end.

Balanced

I stayed the same which I am actually happy about. It was a weeks of ups and downs and dieting was the last thing on my mind. Meals out, a takeaway, alcohol, chocolate. You name it, I had it. I think I needed it but it's done and it's a new week to start over. I kept up the walking depite the eczema problem though I notice the difference of not having the bike. That's a lot better now so I can get back to normal quickly.

I heard some very wise words yesterday that got me back into the right mindset for this week. Nothing that is actually diet related but just generally uplifting and telling people not to give up hope and to enjoy the present. Something I feel we could all learn from time to time in all areas of life.

2-3lb off next week! I need a challenge so maybe a target will help.

Mojo

Today to try and beat the weight issue, I've tried eating dinner earlier in the day. Pasta with tomatoes, garlic and basil with a little finely grated cheese for lunch and I will eat a smaller meal in the evening. Probably a chicken salad baguette with mayo. Yum yum. Mayo is 1 thing I refuse to give up and low fat isn't the same but I am pretty good at holding back on other fats.

I did think about cutting the carbs but it's made me crave pasta more! Hence dinner at lunch,

I'm on course to stay the same this week. Which after the snack attacks,  junk and meals out I've had this week is a pure miracle in itself. So its not something I am going to get upset about. 

I have 4 weeks until my holiday now but I am going to meet and beat that 20lb goal.

This woman is getting her mojo back!

Struggling

On the week I am really wanting to get a result, it's turning out to be a struggle.

I am trying my best to eat well, but I'm eating too much. I am partially eating out of boredom and I am partially emotional eating. I know these are my triggers. I need to fix them. Recognising the problem is half the battle. Finding a solution is the other half.

This is why I find it helps to blog. We've all had times we've not lost weight or put on and told ourselves we have no idea why this is happening when in fact we are in denial. If we do know why, we just don't face up to it. This is why I like to share my experiences. None of us are perfect, even I struggle sometimes. Writing keeps things in line and we can look back and see how we fixed things before.

Normally I would exercise to help rid myself of boredom but this week is different.

I am way behind on my exercise.

My eczema is playing up no end. I usually only get it on my hands but for the past week or so I am suffering from sore dry skin behind the knees. It's painful to do the school run twice a day  let alone jump on the exercise bike for 70 minutes a day like I had been doing until recently.

I am trying to combat it with an unscented dry skin cream and it feels a little better today. Let's hope I can do this without a trip to my doctor. I am sure this has started because of a change in bath products. A couple of weeks back I bought some bubble bath on special offer at a major toiletry type store. I've had problems since I used it the first time. The kids bath in it and seem fine. If I bath a couple of hours after them I know it. The residue seems to stick around and irritates the area more.

I have been trying to do other things though, I am having a week of major housework. Yesterday saw the garden get a major spring clean. I picked up all the cardboard that seems to have been spread around the garden by a lively young dog, I even scrubbed down the patio table and chairs. Any form of activity helps eh? The kitchen and bathroom look incredibly good too.

Next week we may be going away for the weekend. Matthew has a non pupil day with school so we may make the most of it and go away for a couple of days and return on Sunday evening. I think it will do us all good, we just need to check finances first as it's hubbys payday next week and if all is good then we may get our little escape.

Fiona

A good few years ago my grandmothers sister worked in a home for disabled people.

She met Fiona who was severely handicapped. Born with severe mental and physical disabilities. Her mother failed to cope, failed to bond and Fiona was put into a care home.

My great aunt and her got on incredibly well. Fiona couldn't talk,  had physical disfigurement and was confined to a wheelchair. But amongst all that, Fiona and my great aunt had a special bond.

In the early 90's my great aunt quit her job at the care home and along with her husband they became Fiona's legal guardians. With my great aunts children grown up, my great aunt was back to being a mum. Fiona's mental capacity at best was that of a 2 year old and as I said, she never learned to speak but her and great aunt could communicate as they needed to.

Fionas health was always poor.

She had ongoing infections and would be in and out of hospital quite regular.

She lost her fight for life early yesterday morning.

She was never expected to live to the age of 30 so it was a blessing that she passed away peacefully aged 45. The love and care she had had over the years gave her a 50% longer life span.

When my great uncle died last year, it was fairly sudden. He passed away less than a month of being diagnosed with a brain tumour. Less than 10 months later my great aunt has lost a daughter as well. Fiona never fully understood my great uncles death but she knew things were different. Things never were the same and now my great aunt is in mourning once again.

I write this post to celebrate Fiona and to celebrate my great aunt for giving her a life worth living. Though she may not have had all the things the majority of us have, Fiona was a happy soul and I base much of that onto her adoptive parents. They made her life worthwhile and she was a very well loved member of the family.

I wish her peace and I wish my great aunt strength.

Friday is my grandads funeral so it will be very hard all round. It will be a month on Sunday since we lost him but the local creamtorium has a 4 week wait. Just as we all seem to be coping (my nan is now starting to accept it) then it will be a few steps back as we have a chance to say final goodbyes.

2011 sure has started bad for my family, I hope it improves very soon.

So Close

Saturday the scales were down 2lb. I was so close to those little landmarks being made. But it wasn't to be. Not this week anyway.

Today I am 2lbs heavier. haha. Though I put that down to the big Sunday Roast yesterday and it just being a seriously hungry day yesterday.

I also had an impromptu night out on Saturday evening. Hubby asked around 5pm if I'd like to go out for the evening. We haven't been out for quite some time so I jumped at the chance. He said good as he'd arranged to pick his mum up at 6 to come over and babysit for us. It was just what I needed! After a stressful few weeks, a night off and out the house was very welcome and we enjoyed a meal out at the local Indian restaurant and having a few drinks with new friends who also live in the village. I can't remember the last time I saw my old friends as a group. Oh yes, that would have been my wedding where it all passed so quickly that I couldn't spend the time with them that I would have done, so I guess it heads back to June for my hen night!

I do really enjoy the village life and now we are making more new friends, then a little more of a social life may be on the cards for me again. I can't and don't rely on old friends like I used to. I've moved on in every sense of the word.

I enjoyed the Indian food and went for relatively healthy food (Tandori prawns, chicken dansak, rice and a spinach side dish) but the beer and a couple of cocktails may have let me down a little.  :) In all, it was a break from the norm that I really needed.

I also went out in new clothes. A size 16  long top fitted perfectly and I wore leggings! I have never been a fan of lycra but the outfit looked good and felt comfortable with my cute little boots. I did feel good.

So now we are onto Monday and back onto the diet. I have 5 days to turn things right again and I am confident that by Saturday I will be at least 1lb lighter than I was last Saturday. 1lb is still 1lb and I will work as hard as I possibly can for it.

Kids Are Alright - No They Aren't, They Are Amazing!!!!

I have been a bit slack on the updates with the kids of late.

I don't know if it's because they seem to do so much all the time and things change so quick - or if things are really slowing down.

I don't notice the daily change in them like when they were babies but every now and then I am completely aware of something new.

For example, Liam has been teething weeks - he now has 2 top molars.

James language skills stretch to short sentances and playing word games. He recognises picture cards and knows what they all are.

Matthew is onto a long reading book at school. When I say long, I mean we are onto chapter 2 and page 64. It's a Mr Majeika book that I used to read when I was younger (we also had the kids tv show that was great. He was a teacher who could do magic.) It is currently world book day and Matthews class is focussing on Roald Dahl. I made Matthew a "golden ticket" last night to take into school and he also took in a bar of chocolate as his chosen book to do a show and tell on was Charlie And The Chocolate Factory. It was an easy thing for me to rustle up. I've been doing my part today and read another 90 pages of my book too.

A couple of weeks back I took the 3 boys for haircuts. James looks so much older and certainly more boy-like than toddler or baby like these days. He is looking so grown up.

Liam is coming along so quickly. He joins in the songs we do with a loud hum as he tries to sing along. He is certainly in first words territory but will spend half his days roaring. I think this is partly down to a favourite verse of "Row Row Row Your Boat" and his love of a toy dinosaur he got for christmas. He's such a funny little soul. He is so loving as well right now. He loves nothing more than to wander across the room and come over for a hug and plants a big wet kiss on me. I love it.

Matthew has a love for Jessie J and Avril Lavigne.

Liam loves Lady Gaga.

James just tells the music channels to "shush! Not MY song!" James is very aware of himself at the moment. He often says "Me" or "My" so he's getting a little sense of who James is. It's quite magical.

So that's how they are all doing. I still have a cold 2 weeks on but I'm getting through it.

Enjoy your weekends!!

It's Up To The Scales

Yesterday my mum commented on how much weight I am losing this year.

I was dressed in the most "FAT" outfit imaginable. Wearing a rugby style top that is actually hubbys and my old black trousers that area now 3 sizes too big. I felt I  looked a state. Still, my weight loss is being recognised none the less so it's not all bad. The first person to notice my weight was my grandad about 2 weeks before he passed away. Since I don't live so close to my family now and see them a little less than I used to it's easier to carry off a diet with no-one knowing I'm doing it and for other people to see the changes over the course of a few weeks. Even hubby has commented recently that my bottom is looking smaller. I find that a massive compliment since those we are closest to don't tend to notice quite as much.

Whilst people are noticing the loss and my body shape is obviously changing I'll be lucky if I lose 2lb this week let alone 3lbs. I have been back to eating normally ALL WEEK for the first time in weeks so I will be happy if I lose 1lb. I m back on it with the cycling so I am trying. Maybe next week will be better. It's not worth stressing over. There's more important things in the world. I've been on this weightloss thing on and off over so many years that I realise that sometimes when we think we've done good, the scales don't always reflect it and we have weeks of the opposite. This week I have tried hard but had some bad habits to reverse.

Only the scales will tell.