Sometimes I worry about the capability of the UK Government and how they are SO disorganised and can't seem to arrange anything.
This week we are on half term which means I have done my first half term as a parent helper in James's nursery. I've been going in every Thursday since they returned to school (Tuesday the first week then I changed) and I love it. The kids are great, I love being active in the creativeness that 4 year olds have, the thrill of the big wide world and covering Chinese New Year. In my odd days in I've helped the kids with their collage of the Chinese dragon, read stories, been on break duty, filled in numerous forms, prepared work for the following day, played games with the kids, overseen the creation of Valentines Cards and joined in with all sorts of singing and dancing activities as well as the less than glamorous jobs of clearing up and helping with shoes and coats etc.
However, going back to the useless Government system, I have been working in a school for 6 weeks and only just today I got my CRB (Criminal Records Beareu check) cleared. In those 6 weeks I could have been ANYONE. I do not have any convictions but I could have and they would still be none the wiser. I could look the average mother dropping her kids off at school but I could have been done for dealing drugs, violence, sexual offences or murder in my past and it took 6 weeks for it to be reported to the school. Of course, I am sure that if I was a prolific criminal of sorts then the school would have been informed sooner rather than later. Yet, me, I am one of those proper Virgoan/Librans at times who just likes formalities covered. I like things in order and feeling that things are unfinished irritates me. Especially when it's something like this and kids welfares are at stake.
As you may have noticed I am LOVING the classroom environment and I am already thinking of stepping up a gear when Liam begins nursery in September. I need to work in the school voluntary 15 hours a week to qualify to begin the training as a teaching assistant. I don't have to do it all in the nursery, I can move around the school helping out in areas that need the help as I earn the qualifications to become a paid professional. It will mean all 5 mornings are taken up voluntarily in the school but life is now at a point where I need to reconsider my future.
I could continue to be a non working mum with kids at school or I could actually begin to think about doing something for me. To think about helping contribute to the family finances. Wages aren't great as a T.A. but it all helps. We are comfortable now and hubbys wages will only go up with more experience and the options of promotion.
By the time I begin to train, Matthew will be approaching 11 years old. That will be that I've dedicated the last 11 years of my life solely to my kids and family and I feel that this is my way of getting something back for myself. For getting back into the working world and to give something back to society. I am at a stage I've given the best start I can to my kids and if I can help others then I would love to be part of that important stage of a childs life.
Hubbys new job started at the start of the month. He is getting on well with it. He's enjoying the new challenges of new sites to work upon and the hours aren't affecting him too badly. Last Thursday he had an assessment done on his work and he is doing just fine, his assessor was also being assessed by a manager and the manager was being assessed by senior management. So, as if having a work assessment wasn't worrying enough, he had the added pressure of being overseen by 3 people instead of 1. Because of this we didn't do too much for Valentines Day but hope to get out and do something just the two of us this weekend.
We have had a busy few weeks and what with that and balancing life with the kids it's been a lot of hard work and a lot of hard play for all.
Thursday, 21 February 2013
Saturday, 2 February 2013
22 Days Later - Part 1 - The Kids
What can I say other than I have been AWOL again. Sorry.
On the plus side I have got a little better at commenting this week. (I stress the word "little")
There is so much I could have written short posts about. Good and bad but quite frankly, it's been a manic few weeks and I am sure I have forgotten so much.
Ironically, it's the "small things" about having kids that I most want to record as they grow up so fast!
Let's start with "the baby", Liam is done with jabs for at least 10 years! Yep, my baby son has had his boosters for all the pre-school injections and I am now satisfied that I have done all I can to protect my son from unneccessary childhood illness. I know the debate on immunisations is still very much open but the benefits by far outweigh the odd medical "oddity". There's a risk with anything but I do feel on the subject of immunisations is that there are MILLIONS who have the jabs without reaction. It becomes BIG news when things go wrong and that sparks a panic which can lead to numbers of the immunisations dropping and the illnesses they cover have their cases jump and can do much more damage than the odd immunisation would have done.
He was really good, he wasn't too happy when I had to hold him still for a needle in each arm but was happy enough having the injection and did not cry a single bit. I have ALWAYS been very open with my kids. Even at 40 months, he may not fully understand but I did say to him "We've got to see a nice nurse lady and she will give you a little prick in the arm which might hurt a little bit but it won't hurt for long.OK? So, arms will get a little hurty then it's done. I'll give you some chocolate after for being a brave boy and we can carry on to playgroup." Mothers really do worry about these things more than little ones.
Also on the subject of being honest and open with my kids, there have been a number of incidents in a nearby village over the past couple of weeks. About 4 miles down the road (The estate/villagethe other side of Sudbury) there had been cases of kids being followed by a middle aged to elderly man. I first heard about it via facebook Thursday evening when it was reported a man acting suspicously was seen following 2 teenage girls. A few minutes later after the girls reached home, two 11 year olds were followed by what was thought to be the same person and later on around 5pm the same man was seen approaching a 9 year old boy playing outside but again the boy went home. It was then reported in the local paper that this comes a little over a week after the same thing happened in the same area. A man was arrested in connection with the threatening behaviour yesterday.
However, being an open mum, I had to talk to Matthew about it. It was time to reaffirm the "Never talk to Strangers" thing. Matthew is so friendly and SO naive at times he scares the living daylights out of me. He would talk sport with anyone and everyone. It may have been the other side of the nearby town but it still makes you think of your little ones own security when they come home from school alone. Matthew has been doing great but making him aware of the situation, I gave him the choice, he could either walk back halfway as he has been doing (I've been meeting him to cross the main road since the nature walk is mega muddy after the recent snow and rain) and tag along with a friend and their mum until I meet him (which I could arrange with his friends mum prior to school collection) or I could meet him from school if he would feel safer that way. My amazing smart 9 year old opted for me to collect him.
Whilst it is nice when I don't have to take a trip to the school 3 times a day, I want my son to feel safe and secure. I don't want him growing up afraid of being on his own, afraid of strangers. We are lucky that where we live it is a close knit community. Everyone seems to know everyone, everyone is really friendly but I am well aware that people only show the side of them that they want you to see. Matthew is growing up, he needs to have the freedom and independence that has grown over the past year or two but I would never ever let him be at risk. When kids get to 7 or 8 they begin to change so much. You need to let them grow up and that can be hard. The oldest one is the hardest to let go. James and Liam already watch things on tv I never let Matthew watch at their age. They play with toys I wouldn't have let Matthew have and it could be that they are much easier to look after than Matthew ever was and we're in a very different environment to the town estate we were on before but they have much more freedom aged 3 and 4 than Matthew had until he was 6.
It can be a scary old world out there and we can only do so much to protect our kids without bringing on the "cotton wool effect". Kids need to face the harder parts of the world at some point and I do feel that if Matthew is old enough and mature enough to be aware of dangers and worrying news nearby. Though nothing actually happened beyond the kids being followed, it doesn't mean that would always be the case.
So, in all I am proud of Matthew for being sensible and asking for an escort home on Friday. He did good.
On the plus side I have got a little better at commenting this week. (I stress the word "little")
There is so much I could have written short posts about. Good and bad but quite frankly, it's been a manic few weeks and I am sure I have forgotten so much.
Ironically, it's the "small things" about having kids that I most want to record as they grow up so fast!
Let's start with "the baby", Liam is done with jabs for at least 10 years! Yep, my baby son has had his boosters for all the pre-school injections and I am now satisfied that I have done all I can to protect my son from unneccessary childhood illness. I know the debate on immunisations is still very much open but the benefits by far outweigh the odd medical "oddity". There's a risk with anything but I do feel on the subject of immunisations is that there are MILLIONS who have the jabs without reaction. It becomes BIG news when things go wrong and that sparks a panic which can lead to numbers of the immunisations dropping and the illnesses they cover have their cases jump and can do much more damage than the odd immunisation would have done.
He was really good, he wasn't too happy when I had to hold him still for a needle in each arm but was happy enough having the injection and did not cry a single bit. I have ALWAYS been very open with my kids. Even at 40 months, he may not fully understand but I did say to him "We've got to see a nice nurse lady and she will give you a little prick in the arm which might hurt a little bit but it won't hurt for long.OK? So, arms will get a little hurty then it's done. I'll give you some chocolate after for being a brave boy and we can carry on to playgroup." Mothers really do worry about these things more than little ones.
Also on the subject of being honest and open with my kids, there have been a number of incidents in a nearby village over the past couple of weeks. About 4 miles down the road (The estate/villagethe other side of Sudbury) there had been cases of kids being followed by a middle aged to elderly man. I first heard about it via facebook Thursday evening when it was reported a man acting suspicously was seen following 2 teenage girls. A few minutes later after the girls reached home, two 11 year olds were followed by what was thought to be the same person and later on around 5pm the same man was seen approaching a 9 year old boy playing outside but again the boy went home. It was then reported in the local paper that this comes a little over a week after the same thing happened in the same area. A man was arrested in connection with the threatening behaviour yesterday.
However, being an open mum, I had to talk to Matthew about it. It was time to reaffirm the "Never talk to Strangers" thing. Matthew is so friendly and SO naive at times he scares the living daylights out of me. He would talk sport with anyone and everyone. It may have been the other side of the nearby town but it still makes you think of your little ones own security when they come home from school alone. Matthew has been doing great but making him aware of the situation, I gave him the choice, he could either walk back halfway as he has been doing (I've been meeting him to cross the main road since the nature walk is mega muddy after the recent snow and rain) and tag along with a friend and their mum until I meet him (which I could arrange with his friends mum prior to school collection) or I could meet him from school if he would feel safer that way. My amazing smart 9 year old opted for me to collect him.
Whilst it is nice when I don't have to take a trip to the school 3 times a day, I want my son to feel safe and secure. I don't want him growing up afraid of being on his own, afraid of strangers. We are lucky that where we live it is a close knit community. Everyone seems to know everyone, everyone is really friendly but I am well aware that people only show the side of them that they want you to see. Matthew is growing up, he needs to have the freedom and independence that has grown over the past year or two but I would never ever let him be at risk. When kids get to 7 or 8 they begin to change so much. You need to let them grow up and that can be hard. The oldest one is the hardest to let go. James and Liam already watch things on tv I never let Matthew watch at their age. They play with toys I wouldn't have let Matthew have and it could be that they are much easier to look after than Matthew ever was and we're in a very different environment to the town estate we were on before but they have much more freedom aged 3 and 4 than Matthew had until he was 6.
It can be a scary old world out there and we can only do so much to protect our kids without bringing on the "cotton wool effect". Kids need to face the harder parts of the world at some point and I do feel that if Matthew is old enough and mature enough to be aware of dangers and worrying news nearby. Though nothing actually happened beyond the kids being followed, it doesn't mean that would always be the case.
So, in all I am proud of Matthew for being sensible and asking for an escort home on Friday. He did good.
Friday, 11 January 2013
And the future begins to take shape.....
Hello world, I am very much still alive just a very busy lady!
I have so much to say but will start with apologising for being a bad blogger and commenter in recent weeks. I am working on this, I am reading, I just don't have time for much else right now.
So......I do think 2013 could be a very positive year for us.
In the past week since I last blogged we've had a family fun day out in London. We visited a few sights and went on the cable car over the river Thames. That was a great experience. Even for a person with a height phobia like me.
The kids are back at school and loving it. Liams first (almost) full week has gone fast and he seems incredibly happy there.
I've been getting out and about in the car. It's going good. Had a long and short journey in the past couple of days and it's all helping getting used to the car and building my confidence ever more.
Today is Matthews 9th birthday. He got £100 from family and we bought him an android tablet. I got one for Christmas, hubby bought himself one and we looked into security and all that so Matthew now has one too. He has a handful of games installed onto there and some football sites linked in but he cannot use the internet or add apps due to parental controls. Tonight we'll take him for a steak dinner at his favourite restaurant. I can't believe he is NINE!!!
Hubby looks to be going places in his job. There's a very good chance (we're just awaiting confirmation) that he will be working in a different area in his job. The work is virtually the same but harder as it covers a bigger area and is a little further from home (about 40 mins) but with that comes promotion and a payrise so it's all good.
The other bit of BIG news is that after 9 years of the kids being the central part of my life, they are actually leading to other avenues of my life.
I have been asked if I would like to help out in nursery on a regular basis, so from next week, I am officially a parent helper every Tuesday morning. I have to have a CRB (Criminal Records Bureau) check to make sure I am not a dangerous criminal or anything that could be of risk when working with children but it's all going through at the moment.
James nursery teacher even said to give it to Easter and if I found I liked it and wanted to train towards any qualifications she would be more than happy to back me and that she and another Teaching Assistant would assist with any work if I need it. It's great to have the support of the school.
So it is happening. My life "beyond pre-schoolers" is starting to take shape and for the first time in my life I can actually think towards having a bit of a career other than just finding a job to keep me occupied.
I wouldn't want to be a fully trained teacher at this point but a teaching assistant job eventually would be amazing and maybe I could re-evaluate on where to go once I achieve that and the kids are in higher education.
I'm also in the school on Wednesday doing the voluntary "Wellie Walk". The kids are going for a nice walk in the mud along the old train line in their little Wellington Boots as part of their nature theme for the start of this term.
It's just all so exciting....
I have so much to say but will start with apologising for being a bad blogger and commenter in recent weeks. I am working on this, I am reading, I just don't have time for much else right now.
So......I do think 2013 could be a very positive year for us.
In the past week since I last blogged we've had a family fun day out in London. We visited a few sights and went on the cable car over the river Thames. That was a great experience. Even for a person with a height phobia like me.
The kids are back at school and loving it. Liams first (almost) full week has gone fast and he seems incredibly happy there.
I've been getting out and about in the car. It's going good. Had a long and short journey in the past couple of days and it's all helping getting used to the car and building my confidence ever more.
Today is Matthews 9th birthday. He got £100 from family and we bought him an android tablet. I got one for Christmas, hubby bought himself one and we looked into security and all that so Matthew now has one too. He has a handful of games installed onto there and some football sites linked in but he cannot use the internet or add apps due to parental controls. Tonight we'll take him for a steak dinner at his favourite restaurant. I can't believe he is NINE!!!
Hubby looks to be going places in his job. There's a very good chance (we're just awaiting confirmation) that he will be working in a different area in his job. The work is virtually the same but harder as it covers a bigger area and is a little further from home (about 40 mins) but with that comes promotion and a payrise so it's all good.
The other bit of BIG news is that after 9 years of the kids being the central part of my life, they are actually leading to other avenues of my life.
I have been asked if I would like to help out in nursery on a regular basis, so from next week, I am officially a parent helper every Tuesday morning. I have to have a CRB (Criminal Records Bureau) check to make sure I am not a dangerous criminal or anything that could be of risk when working with children but it's all going through at the moment.
James nursery teacher even said to give it to Easter and if I found I liked it and wanted to train towards any qualifications she would be more than happy to back me and that she and another Teaching Assistant would assist with any work if I need it. It's great to have the support of the school.
So it is happening. My life "beyond pre-schoolers" is starting to take shape and for the first time in my life I can actually think towards having a bit of a career other than just finding a job to keep me occupied.
I wouldn't want to be a fully trained teacher at this point but a teaching assistant job eventually would be amazing and maybe I could re-evaluate on where to go once I achieve that and the kids are in higher education.
I'm also in the school on Wednesday doing the voluntary "Wellie Walk". The kids are going for a nice walk in the mud along the old train line in their little Wellington Boots as part of their nature theme for the start of this term.
It's just all so exciting....
Friday, 4 January 2013
Who's That Girl? Oh, It was Me.....
Most years go by in a bit of a blur. People can easily confuse one year with another as we grow older. How often do you look back to a year and think that something happened only to begin to question yourself over whether that really did happen in that year?
2003 is one of those years I don't forget.
It was a very busy and BIG year for me.
It was a year of excitement but one of personal stress worry and feeling like my life was out of my control to a large extent.
2003 was the year I discovered I was expecting my first baby. Early May when we found out about the future baby was a time of great excitement. Yet it was marred by the relationship I was in.
Being engaged I felt trapped as my fiance was becoming more and more controlling. Especially once the idea of impending parenthood awaited us. I was living with my parents and fiance and it felt that my life was pretty much decided from here on.
I was overjoyed by pregnancy and going to be a mother but terrified of the consequences of living with a controlling bullying partner and bringing up a child in a hostile environment.
As much as I wanted out of the relationship at various times, I kept telling myself it takes two to make a relationship work and if I wasn't willing to make changes then I was just as bad as him.
Being in a mentally abusive relationship changes you more than you realise at the time. No matter what is done or said ad no matter how hard you try, nothing feels good enough. You feel weak, you feel inadequate and whilst much of you wants to leave, you feel that you are not strong enough to do it. You feel that you will only fail if you tried to do things yourself and at times, living a bad relationship just seems better than being alone. If you are with someone it's sort of a victory as no one else knows the real ins and outs of how it is behind closed doors. Even if I ever did leave I was reminded on a practically daily basis that if I left him no-one else would want me, especially with a child. My self esteem sunk lower and lower to a point it was easier to agree with him than start a fight. To just put my health and baby's health first and live as stress free as possible over the coming months.
It's always easy to judge someone and say "if they aren't happy they should leave". If only life was as simple as that....
Being pregnant lead to the insistance of us being married before the baby was born. His insistance I hasten to add. My family were cool with the situation but he wanted us to be married first.
So.... in September we married. I was 22 weeks pregnant and had my second scan a few days before my nuptials.I never told any of my family but the night before, I cried myself to sleep. I hurried through the wedding plans with no real interest thinking "that will do" due to a very tight budget and just the 6 weeks to plan it all in. We were not going to have a celebration after but my family insisted.
My best friend also married the same year as me and is looking forward to her 10th wedding anniversary this year.
Me? I'm looking forward to celebrating my third wedding anniversary in August. It may have taken a bit of time and a complete detour in life to celebrating a wedding anniversary but it's something I have learned over the years. You can't celebrate a relationship where you cannot be yourself.
By being myself I have found a wonderful like minded man, had 2 further children and have very much been enjoying part of a "couple" and family for over 5 years now.
Leaving my ex husband was the hardest yet BEST thing I have ever done in my life.
It took years to build up the courage to turn around and say I can't do this anymore. I won't do this anymore. I am worth more than this. My son is certainly more than this.
I will NEVER say I regret meeting him and having gone through some tumultous years for it is what has made me who I am today.
I've learnt a lot about myself, about what I want, what I need, what I won't accept in life. Most importantly I have learnt about who I am and who I want to be, not who and what someone else wants me to be.
When I look back 10 years, I see that young woman as someone else. It's hard to believe that was me. That I was so controlled and limited in what I did in life by someone who claimed to love me.
Love isn't about making someone who you want them to be.
Love is about accepting someone as they are. Allowing them to be an individual as well part of a pair. To support them on lifes journey.
You accept one anothers flaws, you accept your differences and celebrate your things in common.
And most importantly, being happy with yourself means others will be happy with you too. Self acceptance is a big part of life and love. If you can be comfortable as the person you are then that's half the battle.
2003 is one of those years I don't forget.
It was a very busy and BIG year for me.
It was a year of excitement but one of personal stress worry and feeling like my life was out of my control to a large extent.
2003 was the year I discovered I was expecting my first baby. Early May when we found out about the future baby was a time of great excitement. Yet it was marred by the relationship I was in.
Being engaged I felt trapped as my fiance was becoming more and more controlling. Especially once the idea of impending parenthood awaited us. I was living with my parents and fiance and it felt that my life was pretty much decided from here on.
I was overjoyed by pregnancy and going to be a mother but terrified of the consequences of living with a controlling bullying partner and bringing up a child in a hostile environment.
As much as I wanted out of the relationship at various times, I kept telling myself it takes two to make a relationship work and if I wasn't willing to make changes then I was just as bad as him.
Being in a mentally abusive relationship changes you more than you realise at the time. No matter what is done or said ad no matter how hard you try, nothing feels good enough. You feel weak, you feel inadequate and whilst much of you wants to leave, you feel that you are not strong enough to do it. You feel that you will only fail if you tried to do things yourself and at times, living a bad relationship just seems better than being alone. If you are with someone it's sort of a victory as no one else knows the real ins and outs of how it is behind closed doors. Even if I ever did leave I was reminded on a practically daily basis that if I left him no-one else would want me, especially with a child. My self esteem sunk lower and lower to a point it was easier to agree with him than start a fight. To just put my health and baby's health first and live as stress free as possible over the coming months.
It's always easy to judge someone and say "if they aren't happy they should leave". If only life was as simple as that....
Being pregnant lead to the insistance of us being married before the baby was born. His insistance I hasten to add. My family were cool with the situation but he wanted us to be married first.
So.... in September we married. I was 22 weeks pregnant and had my second scan a few days before my nuptials.I never told any of my family but the night before, I cried myself to sleep. I hurried through the wedding plans with no real interest thinking "that will do" due to a very tight budget and just the 6 weeks to plan it all in. We were not going to have a celebration after but my family insisted.
My best friend also married the same year as me and is looking forward to her 10th wedding anniversary this year.
Me? I'm looking forward to celebrating my third wedding anniversary in August. It may have taken a bit of time and a complete detour in life to celebrating a wedding anniversary but it's something I have learned over the years. You can't celebrate a relationship where you cannot be yourself.
By being myself I have found a wonderful like minded man, had 2 further children and have very much been enjoying part of a "couple" and family for over 5 years now.
Leaving my ex husband was the hardest yet BEST thing I have ever done in my life.
It took years to build up the courage to turn around and say I can't do this anymore. I won't do this anymore. I am worth more than this. My son is certainly more than this.
I will NEVER say I regret meeting him and having gone through some tumultous years for it is what has made me who I am today.
I've learnt a lot about myself, about what I want, what I need, what I won't accept in life. Most importantly I have learnt about who I am and who I want to be, not who and what someone else wants me to be.
When I look back 10 years, I see that young woman as someone else. It's hard to believe that was me. That I was so controlled and limited in what I did in life by someone who claimed to love me.
Love isn't about making someone who you want them to be.
Love is about accepting someone as they are. Allowing them to be an individual as well part of a pair. To support them on lifes journey.
You accept one anothers flaws, you accept your differences and celebrate your things in common.
And most importantly, being happy with yourself means others will be happy with you too. Self acceptance is a big part of life and love. If you can be comfortable as the person you are then that's half the battle.
Tuesday, 1 January 2013
Happy New Year
Happy new year to my dearest blog friends near and far.
I wish you all a very happy 2013 with lots of love, friendships, health and good luck.
2013 for me is a year of changes yet again. Life moves forward at an incredible rate sometimes.
This time last year I was a week away from James beginning nursery for the full 5 days a week. This year it's the turn of Liam. Next Tuesday I will be sending all 3 little boys off to school and it will be the beginning of that daily routine for the next 8 months. My little baby Liam will be attending playgroup full time, meaning he is attending an educational facility every day like his big brothers. It may only be mornings but I am sure gonna miss that boy and it will be strange having EVERY morning to myself.
Once the summer holidays have been and gone, James will be in Reception. That's a FULL day of school and I will be back to the 3 school trips a day routine. Also in September Liam should be up to the nursery so I will have all 3 in the same school.
My little people are getting to be rather big people.
So what do I wish for and hope to achieve this year? I honestly don't know. I just want a happy healthy family. We had some breakthroughs in 2012 where we told Matthew did NOT have ADHD and Liam had a little keyhole surgery to check his previous hernia as he still had occassional swelling and I am still 99% sure I could feel the intestine. However, we were told he didn't have a repeat inguinal hernia. Strangely enough, since the keyhole surgery he hasn't had a repeat swelling at all. I'm still suspicious.Whatever it was and whatever we've been told, I am relieved that the issue is solved and that I no longer have Liams health a big worry.
This year, like every other, I would like to lose weight. It's never easy and it's a lifelong battle for me but it's something I won't feel happy about if I don't put in the effort. If I can just make a few healthy changes, it can make a big difference and once the children are back to school and I am walking alot more again, then all the better.
I miss the daily routines. The last couple of weeks have been long without structure. I feel like I need something to aim for alot of the time. I miss that structure. It will just be really strange once they are all in school. Unfortunately I will only have 2 hours between dropping the last one off and leaving to collect James so the morning will just disappear and may be just enough for me to do a quick trip into town or do the weekly shop at the supermarket.
I wish you all a very happy 2013 with lots of love, friendships, health and good luck.
2013 for me is a year of changes yet again. Life moves forward at an incredible rate sometimes.
This time last year I was a week away from James beginning nursery for the full 5 days a week. This year it's the turn of Liam. Next Tuesday I will be sending all 3 little boys off to school and it will be the beginning of that daily routine for the next 8 months. My little baby Liam will be attending playgroup full time, meaning he is attending an educational facility every day like his big brothers. It may only be mornings but I am sure gonna miss that boy and it will be strange having EVERY morning to myself.
Once the summer holidays have been and gone, James will be in Reception. That's a FULL day of school and I will be back to the 3 school trips a day routine. Also in September Liam should be up to the nursery so I will have all 3 in the same school.
My little people are getting to be rather big people.
So what do I wish for and hope to achieve this year? I honestly don't know. I just want a happy healthy family. We had some breakthroughs in 2012 where we told Matthew did NOT have ADHD and Liam had a little keyhole surgery to check his previous hernia as he still had occassional swelling and I am still 99% sure I could feel the intestine. However, we were told he didn't have a repeat inguinal hernia. Strangely enough, since the keyhole surgery he hasn't had a repeat swelling at all. I'm still suspicious.Whatever it was and whatever we've been told, I am relieved that the issue is solved and that I no longer have Liams health a big worry.
This year, like every other, I would like to lose weight. It's never easy and it's a lifelong battle for me but it's something I won't feel happy about if I don't put in the effort. If I can just make a few healthy changes, it can make a big difference and once the children are back to school and I am walking alot more again, then all the better.
I miss the daily routines. The last couple of weeks have been long without structure. I feel like I need something to aim for alot of the time. I miss that structure. It will just be really strange once they are all in school. Unfortunately I will only have 2 hours between dropping the last one off and leaving to collect James so the morning will just disappear and may be just enough for me to do a quick trip into town or do the weekly shop at the supermarket.
Sunday, 30 December 2012
2012, The Year That Was.....
1. What did you do in 2012 that you had never done before?
Earned something through sheer hard work. For fighting through negative
feelings, low self confidence and fear to achieve something I wanted. I finally
got my driving license after months of dread and worries.
Visited a live sporting event. Not just any sporting event but we went to
the Paralympics at Stratford London as part of the London 2012 Olympics. I'm
not into sport at all but I am glad I
had the oppertunity to witness a part of British history.
2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for
next year?
I give up on resolutions.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not close but a few friends have had babies both in the real world and blog
world and there are a good few 2013 babies on the way.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not this year thankfully. We did lose an elderly relative. I can't remember
her well but my dads step grandmother passed away after many years of ill
health. She must have been in her 90's I would have thought. My grandad (her step son) is 77 and she was the younger
second wife of his dad but she passed away in a care home in Italy her home
country.
5. What countries did you visit?
Eng-er-land
6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
More clothes! Yes, I am being incredibly materialistic here, but now I have
passed my driving test, I am better off and can start making up for all the
things I went without when I was paying £150 a month on driving lessons.
7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
December 21st 2012.
We survived!!!!
8.What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Passing my Driving Test
9. What was your biggest failure?
Nothing, Failure is when you give up! I've given everything my best this
year. Sometimes I could have probably done a little more but all in all, I've
done what I can.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing out of the ordinary. General accidents and colds. Blah!
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Nothing in specific though I have been given an iPhone and Android from my
delectable husband this year.
12. Whose behaviour merits celebration?
As always, My Kids. Liam especially has grown up so much in recent months. We're losing all the baby things. The buggy is finished, we're in pants during the day. We are now getting rid of the training potty so he only uses the toilet. His speech is coming on by the day and he is a happy enthusiastic sweet little character. James is becoming a smart boy. He is kind and generous and loves his brothers and friends. Matthews behaviour has improved hugely. He is doing great at school, he is calming down so much as he matures. They have all done great in 2012.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and upset?
Nobody this year.
14. Where did most of your money go?
The kids, the bills, the house, the holidays, the Olympics trip, learning to drive and the driving test. We don't overspend, we don't get into debt but we enjoy life with what we do have.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Being British. Yes, it really is SO cliche but Britain has it's good points
at times. Last year it was the Royal wedding, this year the Queens 60th
Jubilee, the Royal baby, the olympics. 50 years of The Beatles, 50 years of
James Bond.
16. What song will always remind you of 2012?
Call Me Maybe - Carly Ray Jepson
Gangnam Style - Psy
Somebody That I Used To Know - Goyte
We Are Young - Fun
Wonderful - Angel
Anything by OIly Murs, he's my new favourite.
17. Compared to this time last year,
are you:
i.
happier or sadder? Happier.
ii.
thinner or fatter? Fatter
iii.
richer or poorer? Richer
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Nothing, i think I had a balanced 2012
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Worried about things out of my control.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
In our little house and visiting and being visited by family.
21. Did you fall in love in 2012?
Nope, just kept loving the people around me! :)
22. How many one-night stands?
I don't think they are called that when you are married ;o)
23. What was your favorite TV program?
Hunted, Eastenders, Friday Night Dinner,
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No, I tend to forgive (but not forget) and don't hold much of a grudge so
no.
25. What was the best book you read?
I am 1 book away from completing my 100 book challenge in 2012 so I have
read MANY books. I am now a fan of horror (ghosty/creepy not zombie/vampire)
and crime. So I cannot single out books but I am now a fan of James Herbert.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
He's been around a bit now but Olly Murs and I really liked the cd by Fun.
27. What did you want and get?
I wanted very little. I don't ask for much in life and I do appreciate the
little things in life I do have.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I haven't seen many films myself this year. I may have seen Toy Story 3 and
Cars 2 a million times but I didn't see many grown up movies. Though I did watch a movie the other night with Colin Farrell and Ray Winstone. "London Boulevard" was your typical British Gangster movie.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 32 and did the normal family day and a romantic meal later in the
week. Also went away for the weekend to a Disco weekend.
30. What is one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more
satisfying?
To be honest, I couldn't ask for a happier year! It's been amazing in every
sense of the word. Finances have been better than they have been for a while,
I've passed my driving test, the kids have had rather good
health, we're all
happy and we've fitted alot into the year. It's been incredibly memorable with
the Olympics and the Jubilee and I've enjoyed it overall.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Floral, girly, less is more.
32. What kept you sane?
Me time! Long hot baths, good books
and early nights. My hubby x
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Joey in Eastenders
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
They just annoy me. All of them.
35. Who did you miss?
My Grandad
36. Who was the best new person you met?
My mate Sam, she's been great company.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012
Keep going. If you really want something, anything is possible with some
hard work.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
When you finally find what's beautiful
It's so wonderful
Wonderful, Angel
Great song and brings back memories of the magnificent athletes at the paralympics. We heard it in the stadium so a real little memory maker!
Friday, 28 December 2012
A Skim Through Christmas
So that's Christmas over for another year.
It's been exciting yet tiring.
I wouldn't say my Christmas was much different to many households all over the world. The kids were spoilt, we ate alot, we watched alot of tv and movies and we are now trying to catch up on sleep from the chaos.
On Christmas eve we visited family and though the kids went straight to bed when we returned home, hubby was building the kids toy kitchen late at night and we finally got to bed about 1am.
The kids were great Christmas morning sleeping in until 8.30. We opened our presents and had a lazy day. No visitors, no outings, just the 5 of us. Hubby got me an Android and I am loving it. I do like my iPhone games and this just makes them that little bit better. The kids got plenty of Lego and Toy Story items and I got hubby a board game and the rest of his present will be a night stay in a hotel sometime in January as he's treated me to mini breaks enough over the years, it's my turn to pay for us to have a day/night off.
On Boxing day we had family over. As much as I love my family, it feels hard work. Trying to please everyone feels impossible and with an already cantankerous pensioner and a miserable brother, it felt like a losing battle at times. Especially when it got to the point that one snide comment too far from grandmother had my brother storm out the house.
Yep, my family is as bad as everyone elses when it comes to petty squabbles! And for once I am not talking about the kids.
I do feel for my nan, honestly I do, but she is acting more and more the spoilt child as the weeks go on. I know things have been hard since we lost my grandad but it's no excuse for rudeness, strops and sulking. Though she wasn't staying at my parents house, I understand my dad and brothers frustration at having her there every day for 4 days. The day here was strained so I don't know how they must have felt at the end of day 4! She doesn't particularly enjoy Christmas without my grandad and on Dec 20th, it would have been their 60th wedding anniversary so I understand why she doesn't so much feel like celebrating but she should think about the family she has got and how we are trying to go out of our way to welcome her but it's not taken as that at all. Next year she'll be 80 so she is getting on but something about the elderly brings out the "couldn't care less" attitude towards others.
Yesterday we had a visit from my brother and sister in law and their little boy. It was nice just having the 4 boys together playing. The kids do all get on well and little nephew really is such a happy little chappy!
We then went out shopping and I treated myself to a nice load of underwear. I feel good when I have good undies. Hehe.
It's been exciting yet tiring.
I wouldn't say my Christmas was much different to many households all over the world. The kids were spoilt, we ate alot, we watched alot of tv and movies and we are now trying to catch up on sleep from the chaos.
On Christmas eve we visited family and though the kids went straight to bed when we returned home, hubby was building the kids toy kitchen late at night and we finally got to bed about 1am.
The kids were great Christmas morning sleeping in until 8.30. We opened our presents and had a lazy day. No visitors, no outings, just the 5 of us. Hubby got me an Android and I am loving it. I do like my iPhone games and this just makes them that little bit better. The kids got plenty of Lego and Toy Story items and I got hubby a board game and the rest of his present will be a night stay in a hotel sometime in January as he's treated me to mini breaks enough over the years, it's my turn to pay for us to have a day/night off.
On Boxing day we had family over. As much as I love my family, it feels hard work. Trying to please everyone feels impossible and with an already cantankerous pensioner and a miserable brother, it felt like a losing battle at times. Especially when it got to the point that one snide comment too far from grandmother had my brother storm out the house.
Yep, my family is as bad as everyone elses when it comes to petty squabbles! And for once I am not talking about the kids.
I do feel for my nan, honestly I do, but she is acting more and more the spoilt child as the weeks go on. I know things have been hard since we lost my grandad but it's no excuse for rudeness, strops and sulking. Though she wasn't staying at my parents house, I understand my dad and brothers frustration at having her there every day for 4 days. The day here was strained so I don't know how they must have felt at the end of day 4! She doesn't particularly enjoy Christmas without my grandad and on Dec 20th, it would have been their 60th wedding anniversary so I understand why she doesn't so much feel like celebrating but she should think about the family she has got and how we are trying to go out of our way to welcome her but it's not taken as that at all. Next year she'll be 80 so she is getting on but something about the elderly brings out the "couldn't care less" attitude towards others.
Yesterday we had a visit from my brother and sister in law and their little boy. It was nice just having the 4 boys together playing. The kids do all get on well and little nephew really is such a happy little chappy!
We then went out shopping and I treated myself to a nice load of underwear. I feel good when I have good undies. Hehe.
Sunday, 23 December 2012
In the words of Mariah Carey,
I don't want alot for christmas.
There is just one thing I need.
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree.
Oh no, you see, I think 2012 has been a flipping fantabulous year on the whole and one I have truly enjoyed.
This year I feel more blessed and lucky than ever.
I've achieved and experienced more than I thought possible and I am on a very good plane spiritually.
Yes, it was a relief when we all got through December 21st 2012 in one piece but whilst I am not usually superstitious, I do worry as a mother that some things really are out of my control. It's an incredibly unlikely event that the world does end in our lifetime but nothing is impossible.
It's not so much that I am scared of dying, but how it happens. Ideally I will be very old, with a load of loved ones knowing I lived a life as best as I could and that whilst I have made mistakes, I've only done my best.
Anyway, enough of that.... Like I said, spiritually I am a very lucky and content person this year. I will do a real new year meme post as Christmas begins to fade and thoughts of the new year creep in. I do enjoy those and this year has certainly been memorable for all the good reasons.
So, I leave you all now wishing you a very very Merry Christmas and an amazing New Year especially those celebrating with small children and for all those very special babies first christmasses out there. I wish you all peace, love and reason to celebrate this lovely time of year.
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