This Girl Is Becoming A Woman

I am officially in my last full month of my twenties.

Next month is my 30th birthday and I am really looking forward to it.

I'm far from one of those people who spend my days dreading each milestone of age. I go by my achievements and what each year has brought me and how I have overcome the latest of obstacles in my path.

I've been sitting here this morning thinking how much has changed in the last decade.

As I sat down this Sunday morning with a cup of coffee at 6.30am I smiled to myself. It seems a long time ago that I would have been sitting with a coffee at 6.30am, not like this having a little quiet time to myself before the boys get up but in an attempt to sober up a little before going to bed.

I also began thinking, what does being a woman actually mean?

I guess it can mean a number of things to each person individually.

To me it's about self assurance. It's about confidence. It's about acceptance and it's about life experience.

Many can argue that I became a woman of experience a long time ago. I have a failed marriage behind me which made me realise everything I did not want in life. What marriage shouldn't be about and how I wanted things to change.

I have moved on from that. My single mother lifestyle with one son developed with a new man and 2 more amazing sons. With each child I have learnt new things. New ideas. I have done things differently. I have also made some of the same mistakes. It takes a bigger person to admit their mistakes than someone who lives life in denial.

I am by no means a perfect mother but I do the best I can in any eventuality. Every day is a new challenge. New scenarios arise all the time, not just in the mothering stakes, but every day we all learn something new. Accepting new knowledge and learning how to handle it is something I try my hardest to do.

In my younger years I could be very dismissive. Some things come along and you think "yeah, right. Whatever" but with learning comes wisdom. It's not that I believe everything I hear, I just listen out much more for things that may be of use to us all.

Knowledge and wisdom go a long way in being a woman.

I've lost and found love over the years. I've lost people that mean alot and I've been close to losing others. I've grown not to take life or health for granted. It needs to be worked at. We need to do what we can to survive in this life. In finding love, I've created life.

From the youngest of ages, relatives can have their own special way on carving us into adults. Sometimes they pass on the good, sometimes the bad. We do have testing relationships with those closest to us at times but alot of us would be happier with acceptance in our lives. To realise that we will not always see eye to eye with one another and to accept our differences with one another.

It's differences in people which make us all unique.

I'm much more self assured than I have ever been in my life. I have the people who matter most around me. I am happy with the person I have become over the years.

I never look back at the bad times to dwell on the bad times but to see how far I have come and beaten my demons. I've grown through the bad spells, I've become the woman I am now. I don't need reassurance all the time anymore. I know if I am doing something well (most of the time) and I certainly would not describe my self as a "people pleaser" quite so much anymore. I DO hate to disappoint, I do hate to hurt others but I am very aware that just doing things to please others all the time is not necessarily best for me. There are times I have to put myself (and my sanity) first.

That's how I define being a woman. What do you think?