Two Weeks

I can't believe that in just two short weeks, I will be at my mums house getting ready to get married.

I can't say much more about that since I am trying to hold back a couple of little surprises for bf. I've been working on something personal, but that's all I am going to say as I know he reads this sometimes.

I think everything is there now. I am just awaiting another wedding dress fitting then hopefully, it should be completed this week. The food needs to be done the day before but other than that there is nothing else we can do but wait now.

I've never been so excited nor terrified about anything in my life.

I've been planning this a year, this is my dream wedding, I've planned it all now I just want it to go as well as I want it to.

I must admit, I never got wedding nerves with my first marriage. It was rushed through in 6 weeks. It wasn't what I wanted as the budget was so low. Everything was "fine", that "did" for what I wanted, it wasn't thought out beyond a simple ceremony with minimal guests and a party a few days on.

There's not many brides out ther that get to the point that they wish their husband to be would have cold feet at the last minute not turn up.  I wasn't brave enough to say no, and I did not want to disappoint my family by cancelling it myself. They paid for EVERYTHING and my heart wasn't in it so I just opted for the cheapest option of everything for their sakes. 

I wasn't ready for marriage, but in a psychologically abusive relationship it was easier to do as he said rather than "defy" him. I did grow in strength. It's amazing what a strong person a child can make you into. It's what makes you a mother. Your own worries and stresses  are irrelevent as the child is the most important person in the world. As a mother, you have to ensure they grow up happy.

Needless to say, this wedding is a world apart. I cannot wait to be in my finished dress, hair and make up done, my going away bag packed. My mum is paying for my wedding dress, that's all I've asked of from my parents. They did so much before and we've done most of everything else ourselves. We've done well on bf's wage.

Speaking of which, the interview went well at the restaurant, he did a trial shift and liked it. Tomorrow he has his second trial shift and will probably be handing in his notice on Monday. The money is a big payrise, we'll have alot less outgoings towards petrol and it's near home. We will be at least £120 a WEEK better off. It's a good job, and I would love him to snap it up but that's up to him. I'd never force him into anything. He's the one who has to put in 48 hours a week there, so I don't want it to be just about money or convenience, I want him to do something he is happy doing.

Yesterday we had a quick trip to Ikea. At least it was meant to be. The M25, the main ringroad around London was chaos. There had been a fire on the QE2 bridge, (The bridge that crosses over the river Thames and is the border between Essex and Kent) at 12 noon. At 6pm there were still tailbacks in both directions. 22miles one way, 40 the other. We didn't have to go near the bridge but with everyone finding other routes, there was carnage on the roads. It took us 2 1/2 hours to get there, a little over an hour to get home.

All this for a coffee table.

Now all I need is some little coasters to make it a working coffee table and some magazines on the shelf below.

We have however found the dining table we want to buy with our wedding money. At the moment we only have a small round table with 4 seats. Liam is still in a highchair and we can't have anyone round for dinner. So we've found a beautiful oak 4-8 seater extendable table. Once we've got the table we can concentrate on the chairs at a later date. But there is a huge selection and we love the range.

We have also found the wardrobe system we want to buy in the future. We are going for a modular system of wardrobes, you build them yourself with your own options then choose the doors to go on top. We can completely design our own wardrobes. Woohoo!!!

I did enjoy our alternative Friday night out.