Moms Are Amazing.

On this occassion I cannot take credit for such wit but here is something that all mums worldwide would understand. My personal added thoughts are in brackets at the end of each statement:

21 Clear Signs You're a Mom

1. Instead of running from projectile vomit, you run towards it.  (sticking a towel in a washing machine is FAR better than trying to clear it off the carpet, walls, floors, work surfaces. You know what I mean)

2. You do more in seven minutes than most people do all day. (Dress 2 children aged 4 and 5, pack 3 lunches, check book bags, pe bags, swimming backs, lunch bags, line up 3 pairs of shoes and 3 coats. Check I filled in any forms of permission. Do I need money for anything? Where is my phone? My keys? All in my bag as they should be. Feeling sort of organised!!! Welcome to 8am - 8.10am Monday morning)

3. Happy hour has become the 60 minutes between your kids going to bed and you going to bed. (The sod it, dinner can wait for me and hubby hour!)

4. A glass of wine counts as a serving of fruit. (Not that often but sometimes, wine is a good stress reliever and brings out more goodness and inner satisfaction than an orange or apple)

5. You have mini-therapy sessions all day long with anyone who will listen. (I have blog therapy)

6. Going to the grocery store by yourself is a vacation. (I love this. I can look at what I want to look at. I spend what I need to spend. Done)

7. You think of physical pain on three levels: pain, excruciating pain and stepping on a Lego. (With 3 male offspring. That really is the truth. Give me another birth with no pain relief anytime!)

8. You have the ability to hear a sneeze through closed doors in the middle of the night, two bedrooms away, while your husband snores next to you. (Or your kids sleep talking, turning on the bathroom light, the cat over the road)

9. You'd rather have a 103 degree fever than watch one of your kids suffer with it. (I get on with it, the kids look so sad!)

10. A 15-minute shower with the door locked feels like a day at the spa. (Yes indeed)

11. Peeing with an audience is part of the daily routine. (Aint that the truth)

12. You use baby wipes to clean up random spills and the dash of your car. (And kitchen, and dining table, and coffee table and to dust the window sills, clean the skirting boards! There's a million uses for a baby wipe) 

13. You lock yourself in the bathroom and pretend to have diarrhea just to get a break. (No, I just sit there for a quiet 5 minutes. I don't pretend anything) 

14. You love Moms' Night Out and Date Night with the Hubs. (Really enjoy date night, moms night not so much anymore)

15. You have a secret chocolate stash because frankly, you're sick of sharing. (Actually no. I just occassionally steal theirs)

16. You've been washing the same load of laundry for three days because you forgot to dry it. (Not quite that bad but some things have been double washed as after a day in the machine it began to smell damp)

17. You realize you've been watching Nick Jr. alone, even though your kids have been in bed for over 30 minutes.  (It's more worrying when you find yourself watching Crash and Bernstein or Phineus and Ferb 2 hours after they are in bed as it was the only thing that you wanted to watch)

18. You can cook dinner, breastfeed, talk on the phone and yell at the kids, all without breaking stride or missing any of the TV show you are watching. (90% true but watching tv when you have a kid, let alone 3 is a big myth)

19. You get more excited about the Mini Boden Catalogue than J Crew's. (Not at all. Never heard of J Crew and I don't do catalogues but I love shopping for the kids.)

20. You decide to stick with your car for the next decade because a) you can't afford to switch and b) you haven't found a car wash that knows how to get all the milk stains and glitter removed. (We change car regularly, every year or so but only because we know it will get damaged to a point we can no longer fix it ourselves. We only buy cheap so it doesn't matter quite so much)

21. By the end of the day, brushing your teeth feels like a huge accomplishment. (And end of night bedtime seems to be the biggest reward of all!)