This Year I Promise ......

I've never been a big maker of resolutions. I tend to fail quickly if I make any but this year I thought I'd have a go.

Nothing major, just to be more compassionate, understanding and to step back from lifes stresses and ENJOY the world more.

I've never been religious, but I guess, deep down I'm a spiritualist. I don't do the yoga, I don't do the alternative therapies, I don't look to Angels for guidance but I do believe that Happiness comes from the inside. 

That happiness is a state of mind and if you want it you can achieve it.

I am a rather reflective person, but I try not to dwell on the bad things in life. I try to work out how to make them better.

There are some tough times in life. Really tough times and those days can be slow, long and dark but there's always going to be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Worrying about things does no good, but making a positive change, going out to do something that makes you feel good and generally seeing the small, good things in life can make such a difference.

This year, I want to lose all the guilt I've been carrying around for so long.

The mis-calculations that lead to a failed marriage. That I let my kids down. That my kids have been struggling in school or with speech or whatever. There's very little I can do to change the past but there are ways I can accept that sometimes, the world does suck. Each tough lesson is a step to a stronger person the other end.

I've always been a tad emotional, self critical and find it easy to feel a complete failure when things don't go my way. I'm the first to admit I can over-react and feel overwhelmed taking things too personally too often. It comes back to guilt, it comes back to feelings of failure.

I don't get this way very often, but when I do, I hate myself even more.

This year, it's all about acceptance that sometimes things just happen. It's not always a personal attack on or at me, it's just the Universe and how it happens. If my kids are struggling with things, I can only do my best. If I am supportive and know I am trying then that really should be enough this year. I won't beat myself up over not getting it right.

This year, I will stop feeling guilty about not liking people. If I have a distinct feeling that I don't like someone, I will remain polite but accept that my first impressions are often right and learn to distance myself from the "bad energy" (I didn't want to sound like a hippy or anything but it's getting that way) I don't have to be friends with everyone. It's ok not to like people. I'd rather be true to myself rather than force something I don't feel or live a lie and be a hypocrite.

I will not feel guilty that friendships have changed. Sometimes a step back is needed and we need to move forward in a different direction.

In short, I want this year to be more simple. More about the little things in the world that make the whole picture an amazing scene of beauty.