I haven't written much about my weight loss recently.
This is not because I am failing massively as per norm but I am doing well. I have lost 16lbs in 5 weeks and whilst I am happy with the figures I am not so happy with my figure.
16lbs is a good weight loss but I don't see it!
I am having one of those weeks of it. I started feeling a little depressed about it on Thursday. That feeling is still here.
I still see masses of fat around my middle. Although it looks a little less fat than before, I still see it and not much else.
At the moment, my brain tells me I want to be another stone (14lbs)
lighter and that will make me feel better and a more confident person.
But I am already realising that the number on the scales doesn't
necessarily reflect on how we see ourselves.
I think I am having one of those disillusioned phases but it's not going to make me try any less harder to move some lbs.
I think it partly comes down to the belief that I've always blamed my weight on everything bad in my life. Over the past 3-4 years I've realised that I can be happy regardless of my weight. It's how you live life that most matters. I am a very very happy and settled person and my weight these days is not my highest priority.
I cannot say I am 100% happy with my body image and I would never say no to a magic pill that could have me 50lbs lighter over night but I am seeing that this is a gradual process. There is no miracle cure when you have got used to being overweight all your life but I am finding that it's not the be all and end all. I can live a happy life even if I have the odd body niggles like everyone else.
Ideally I would love to be 50lb-60lb lighter but big changes come via small steps. I am losing weight at the moment and whilst that is going incredibly well I am going to stick with the eating patterns and exercise my body has come accustomed to. Whilst that would still have me in the "overweight" category, I feel that I will be far healthier which is what all this is for.
I don't have any weight related health issues now but I know that as I get older the chances of getting a health issue increases.
INCREDIBLY I am only 3lbs away from the target I set myself for Christmas. If I carry on at the rate I have been losing weight the past few weeks I may make it by next week. I just hope I don't feel so disillusioned when I do hit that mini target. I will then make my next target of losing 5% of my body weight in time for christmas. 5% is a drop in the ocean but lots of 5%'s = a big percentage loss in total.
For people like me, losing weight is not something I will do for a few months, reach my goal and maintain it. It is proving to be a lifelong challenge. I first joined a slimming club 13 years ago. I find it easier and better doing things my own way though and it worked for my wedding and it's working now.
People have asked if I have lost weight. I happily tell them I have and they congratulate me on it. Why is it I don't? Why is it that I still see the same old person in the mirror? I'll just have to see how I feel when it comes to the next milestone I want to achieve.
I found your site after I saw I had a new follower. :) If you've read much of my blog, you know I feel your pain. I'm down 19.6 lbs yet it seems like it hasn't made much of a difference in my figure. In fact, just yesterday, I was feeling "pretty" after my new haircut. I grabbed my cell to take a pic. The first thing I saw was a double chin and a big glob fat roll hanging over my skirt line. UGH. Very depressing. But I tell everyone this is a LIFETIME battle for me. I wish that wasn't true, but it is. May as well face it. Best of luck to you! You are losing at an amazing speed!
ReplyDeleteSweetie you are doing so well. And its about so much more than your weight. This is about your wellness. The amount of walking that you are doing is incredible - and you must be FEELING the difference. Perhaps if you focus on how you feel, and not on how you think you look, it might make the time pass more easily for you. If you can focus on the extra energy you are feeling and enjoy and revel in that, then all of a sudden by Christmas you might try on your Christmas outfit and find you need to go shopping as you are drowning in it!
ReplyDeleteThank you ladies. Unfortunately this rate rarely continues. Especially after my contraceptive injection which is due next week so I expect to gain back 7lbs in the next couple of weeks. Boo!!!
ReplyDeleteBut, Songcatcher, yes I am happy with everything else in life. I just get frustrated that I have to wait sometimes - us Septemeber babies can be terribly impatient.
Thank you both for your lovely messages.
I can identify with this! My weight loss has slowed to a snail crawl since I have met the goal of being the lightest weight I have ever seen on the scales, yet I still look at myself, and see my wobbly arms, chunky thighs and calves, and still some rolls of fat on my tummy. Certainly less than before but still! And I definitely lose weight slower from my limbs than elsewhere. I've always had chunky legs for my weight. You're doing so well! Even if you don't see it now, you will eventually. If you haven't already, take a full length picture of yourself every couple of stone or so, that way you will really see the difference right there! :)
ReplyDeleteWhenever I read your posts about weight loss, I wonder if I had written it myself. I realize that even when I was my thinnest, I still had a (warped) poor body image. It's so easy to say that you know you shouldn't be so hard on yourself, but rationale and emotion are always at odds, aren't they? At least, I find that's the case for me.
ReplyDeleteRegardless, congrats on your loss & thanks for being an inspiration for me to lose some weight too. Time for me to get going on that too!