Weekend Alone

This weekend I am a single mum.

Not entirely, but Bf is on his stag weekend with 7 friends as I type this. The kids are all cosied up in bed and here's a little time for me.

It's really quite enjoyable. Matthew got to keep me company last night. We were up til 9.30 pm watching tv and playing on the pc before we both went up to bed. I have been much more tired this week, but it's been a crazy few weeks. We all have coughs and colds and we've had our fair share of stresses.

Today was my mums birthday so my mum and dad came over for dinner. We had piri piri roast chicken, cous cous, jacket potatoes, french bread and salad followed by toffee cheesecake (adult dessert) and chocolate gateau(kids dessert). All prepared and cooked by my own fair hands. I do enjoy cooking on occassions and it's been a lovely day. In fact, this hasn't been too bad a week.

We did recieve some good news on Thursday. It appears that my nan does NOT have breast cancer back. The problem looks to be hardening of scar tissue but they are not taking chances. She's had a biopsy done and has to go back in 2 months for another check up to see if anything changes but feel it's little for her to worry about and just want to keep an eye on things to make sure it doesn't become a problem. It's a HUGE relief.

It was a day of goodbyes yesterday as my great uncle was cremated. It went as well as could be expected. But there were many people there to pay respects. It was a lovely environment under the circumstances and though there were some tears, it was more a celebration of his life rather than a goodbye. I particularly liked that way to say goodbye. We all went back to the house afterwards and it was a way to catch up with family I hadn't seen for a long time. My mums cousin is to be a dad again in a few weeks. He and his wife tried several courses of IVF to concieve a child a few years back. She miscarried their son midway through the pregnancy so had to endure birth of a stillborn. After more courses of failed IVF, they fell pregnant naturally and had Holly, now they are due their second naturally concieved child. I am so pleased for them. They took 8 years to have a first pregnancy which ended in tragedy so 3 years on and soon to be a family of 4 makes me SO happy.

I miss pregnancy but I know I wont have more children. My little boys are my world and though we have talked about the possibility of more in the future, I think we are agreed that 3 boys will be all we have. It does sadden me a little but I know that once the little ones are out of nappies and in pre-school, it will be an end to that sort of routine of babyness and I can get back to a normal life for myself. I miss working, I miss social networking through work and meeting people in every day life.

It sounds strange, yet I think the house move will be the most positive thing for me. I said while I was pregnant I felt in a rut friendship wise, I blamed it on my hormones. Things are not much better 8 months after the birth of the youngest. As much as I want to think my friends here will make the effort to visit and keep in touch, I am realistic and think that probably out of my friends, maybe TWO will actually keep up what they say. A new house, new town may be the exact break I need to move on and expand my own little world and social life.