Project Thirty

For the past few weeks I have been trying to think of things to do over the next 10 years. What milestones do I wish to meet in life? What can I do that I've never done before? Where do I want to be 10 years from now? What do I want to be doing in 10 years time? When I say I, I mean I as myself as an individual. Family plans and goals are different. I have my life in stock now, I have a lovely husband and 3 beautiful boys that are growing up in the blink of an eye and would like to go on a bit of a personal journey and do a bit of self discovery.

The bare essentials come down to the following:

Learn to Drive.
Get back to work.
Get a new look.
Get to a size 12-14 and keep the weight off.

I've already started the new diet. I've just dyed my hair a shade or two lighter (it will be more apparent after a couple of washes) and got myself a fringe (bangs) cut so I am slowly moving forwards already.

Despite thinking and thinking, there's little else I want to achieve. I am not into extreme sports so sky diving isn't on the agenda.

I would like to visit more cities around Europe. I want to say I've experienced Paris, visited Venice, seen Rome. With 3 young boys I know that won't be easy for a while but there is always birthdays and anniversaries to take a few days out.

I still want to create a new circle of friends. I guess this is partially why I've joined a slimming group. I can make friends with like minded  people. Maybe not to 'hang out with' in so many words but to have someone I can talk to a little more often and being in the same boat, we can all have something to talk about. I have my family. I don't want constant socialising every weekend just friends for the odd conversation.

I don't want to start body art. Tattoos aren't my thing.

That's my next 10 years planned out then. If anyone can think of anything else I can add to the list, then I am very open for suggestions.

More Newness

Last night I joined Slimming World. It was ok. I weighed more on their scales than I do on my own but never mind. It's not the starting point that matters but the journey and the arrival. :)

It sounds good. It will take some getting used to but it could be rather interesting. After eating as little as possible for several months, I'm now being encouraged to eat all day and all night. Not to allow myself to get hungry. Snack on fruit, veg and salad all day. Ok, I can do that! We'll see how I do with next weeks weigh in.

The living room is just about finished in the decorating stakes. We still want two new sofas as we only have one big one but that will be our living room complete.

This is how our room looked when we moved in mid May:

Now after a few pounds of wedding money being spent, our room has been transformed entirely.

This is how the side on the left now looks. Lone beech bookshelf has been replaced with new large bookshelves along the whole crevice. There's even a view of our new curtains too.

We've gone for a lovely vibrant red as you can see and with the white detailing including the white rail and upper of the room, it doesn't feel too cramped since some rooms can feel smaller with bold colours. We're really happy with it.

Little Liam had his 12 month jabs this morning and the little sweetheart did not make a bit of fuss. What a good little boy!!! Here's a picture of him enjoying his holiday.

My little darling!!!

I......

I haven't been in here for way too long.

I am now 30, I celebrated my birthday on Thursday.

I was on holiday at the time and most of it was great.

I was rather unwell most of the week.

I ended up calling the emergency out of hours Doctor just after midnight Saturday morning with chest pains to be told no-one could do home visits and that I'd have to make a trip to the drop in centre 15 miles away. With 2 kids, a hubby being sick and me having been sick also it was impossible.

I wonder what the point of emergency out of hours doctors actually are.

Liam wasn't sick. Not that night, he started it two days earlier. It appears that Liam picked up a sickness bug and passed it onto the rest of us.

At least we were at home and not travelling.

I finally got to see an out of hours doctor yesterday morning. I didn't have a chest infection as I suspected but what the doctor called "the real flu".

I am now on antibiotics 3 times a day.

I still have a very tender feeling beneath my rib cage.

I've been so unwell I've lost 4lbs this week which is alot considering I was on holiday and eating too much rubbish for 5 days.

I start a new adventure tomorrow. Slimming World. Woohoo. I've got this far myself, I want to go further. Lets try a new spin on it all.

I have the best family in the universe.

I got some new tatty teddy figurines for my birthday.

One of which was one we've searched for over several months.

It's a limited edition one which we only saw once, even after ebay searches and the like, but we found it.

It's an official wedding one and there were only a select few made so I am REALLY pleased we finally found one.

We found similar ones but they weren't the same. It wasn't even trackable with the normal shop we buy them from as it was a Limited Edition.

These figurines will be staying in their boxes until we get our new book cases.

We have decorated the living room, got  a new tv fixed to the wall and the rest of our wedding money is going on furnishing the living room. We're getting one room just as we want it at a time.

I am already beginning to feel better after 1 day on my antibiotics.

I am, on the whole, a happy little lady. xx

Liam Oliver - One Year On.

September 16th 2009.

This beautiful little boy arrived into the world.

I remember thinking how pissed off he looked when he was born.

For those fairly new to my blog you didn't miss much on the birth story. I had perfect deliveries with all 3 of my boys. Liams can be summed up in 5 sentances.

4am, I awoke with contractions.
5am they were stronger and more frequent.
6am we headed to the hospital.
7.11am Liam was born.
No pain relief.

I have always been lucky with my babies. Still, Liams birth was twice as long as James birth. My waters broke, instant contractions born within an hour.
I was nervous of having my third.

I had a few false alarms with Liam and joked I would only believe I was in labour should my waters break.

This happened as his head was being delivered so I was rather glad I didn't wait at home longer in case it was another false alarm. This was the most painful of the births and he had got into a little difficulty on delivery and passed meconium (baby poo) so we had to spend 24 hours in hospital for him to be monitored before we could go home just to be sure that there were not any underlying health issues.

The pregnancy was more comfortable than the second but I needed to be tested for gestational diabetes as I was measuring large for my weeks from midway through pregnancy. I did not have GD and extra growth scans showed I was unlikely to have too big a baby.

Liam was born a healthy 8lb 1oz. Very much in average proportions.

Liam was never a happy baby and if the truth be known, I found it a little hard to bond with my little man in the first few weeks.

Some of what I'm saying here has never been said to anyone, never been addressed but I really felt like I failed my baby boy in the first few weeks of his life.

I know I've never said this before but as much as I loved having my 3 boys, I found it incredibly hard when Liam would just scream all day and night. I never had this with the other 2. He sounded in pain. He was bringing up wind, I wondered if it was gripe. The days and nights were long and I was frustrated and wanted to know what I was doing wrong with this baby when the other two were fine.

It wasn't long before we found a lump in his groin.

Those days were the hardest of my life. The hernia was initially found days before James's first birthday and when my GP said he may need surgery, I sat in the GP surgery crying for failing Liam and for the fear I would miss James's birthday. I think the relief of knowing there was a problem and the fear of my baby going under the knife bought out a whole new outlook.

The hernia was pushed back into place but it could always come back.

My poor baby was in pain, it wasn't my fault, I wasn't failing as a mother and it could be treated. The days that followed became easier. The days where I would try to get him comfortable and hug him through his tears were met with tears of worry and distress of wanting to help him. I felt guilty for being annoyed at his screaming, for being so useless, for not being a good enough mother to him and for feeling like I didnt love him as much as I did the others from the time they were born.

Hubby and I had decided to ask if he could have the operation regardless when we next saw my GP.

The day we had booked an appointment, we didn't make it there. The hernia came back and couldn't be pushed back so we went directly to Cambridge Accident and Emergency Department and were there for the next 5 days.

For two days he was fasting in case the swelling was low enough to operate. This didnt happen. It's tough having a baby starving and wanting milk but not being able to help him.

His surgery only took about an hour but it was a long stressful hour. I stayed at the hospital with him the whole time. Hubby had to take time off to look after the other 2 boys and this was the time I really had a chance to bond with Liam.

Those few days were the defining moment I stopped loving my baby but fell completely in love with him.

After the surgery we had a completely different child. He was always happy and smiling and was a breath of fresh air. Liam was becoming the little Liam that I absolutely adore.

So my wonderful, amazing, beautiful baby boy, Mummy wishes you the best birthday ever and loves you more than she can ever explain. I am so proud to be your mummy and we all love you to pieces.

Happy Birthday Liam, my precious little boy. xxxx

Back To The Old Routine But With Plenty Of Excitement To Come

I am still getting wedding photos in albeit in dribs and drabs whilst we still await our main photos. But I am doing my best to feature as many pics as I can still as I do an update on everyday life and a little on the kids.

This was our special balloon and here's the cutting of the cake with our little cupcake tower beneath.  I was very impressed with the cakes and hope we have more pictures to come.

We posed with the nice knife and the cake for pictures but the cake had to be taken off the stand to be cut properly. It was the top shelf and it was a little wobbly just holding the knife to it.

I love the way the kids are queuing up to get their cupcakes.

The honeymoon is certainly over and normal life beckons once again.  For a couple of weeks until we have our family holiday at least.

Matthew is back at school and is still 100% into football. There's only so much I can take in about Manchester United but he is growing into a fine little man. He is just so full of energy and just makes everyone smile.

As of today I am back to the daily grind of  a better diet and exercise. With big fella at school I am now guarenteed 80-120 minutes walking a day again and I will be honest, I have missed this routine. I never stopped losing weight in the run up to the wedding, but I certainly slowed down. I need an exercise routine and something I can't find excuses for getting out of. The school run is one thing I can always rely on. I hope this will be the kickstart I need to lose the excess weight. In the past 2 and a half weeks I have put on 8lbs. It's not great but I am glad I had a few indulgent days, I don't think putting on weight occassionally does any harm to a diet. It brings a new sense of determination. I feel confident that with eating the right things and daily exercise I can lose up to 6lbs this week. It took 2 weeks to put it on and if I can lose it in 2 weeks I will be a happy woman. If not, it's not the end of the world. I want to remain level headed and enjoy life rather than become self obsessed and miss out on the good things in life.

I am becoming a bit more creative as time goes on. Having done hair pieces for bridesmaids and flowers for us all my next project is to create a wedding photo album. I will buy a plain album and decorate as I see fit. I have ideas in mind and have ordered the mulberry paper I need, I just need to find a few extras.

I am even considering baking. Now, for anyone who's been reading my blogs for some time, they may be questioning m motives as baking only tends to prop up when I'm in a certain "condition". To just set the record straight, I am not pregnant. But I am prepared for something equally exciting.

Next week my baby stops being a baby and becomes a 1 year old!!!

We spent part of Saturday birthday shopping for our little guy and bought him a ride on walker. Not just any walker but this:

We have two little boys absolutely Buzz Lightyear crazy. We took him round a certain toy shop and he went so mad when he saw this. Buzz has interactive features and moves and talks. James was equally impressed so I feel that this will end up being a sharing toy since Liam is still a little small for this. Liam has had a few goes on James' Thomas the Tank Engine ride on but he can't reach the floor to do it himself nor is he walking just yet. He takes a few steps if holding on to Mummy or Daddys hands but he hasn't got that confidence yet.

James is growing fast too. He also loves nothing more than Buzz Lightyear as Thomas the Tank Engine seems to have fallen in popularity a little. Toy Story 2 was on tv a few weeks back and since then he's been so into it. We have pictures in mail order booklets and a catalogue store book and he will spend hours just looking at pictures of toys. He really is interested. James can now sing along to The Wheels On The Bus and do some actions to it. He knows many animals and will say their names and what noise they make too. He is getting to be a very clever little boy.

Hubby is currently at a job interview for a local water company. He left his previous job when his holiday started a few days before the wedding and got an interview by email which he had already decided he wanted to attend. He had already accepted a job at a local pub but has always been more interested in this water maintenance position but the pub was a job to get us through. We thought that the water company were never going to get back to him as we didn't get the email until almost 3 weeks after the application date ended. He began cheffing at the pub on the Sunday we returned. Sadly it didn't work out and he left after 5 shifts on Friday. They were seriously understaffed and the boss seemed to take out his problems on the few staff that were there. Hubby didn't want his chef job to go back to being like the chef job he had before his health really suffered and I admire him for that. Work stresses can easily be bought back home and cause a problem within the home. So fingers crossed that this job interview goes well for him. I know he would rather do a practical job as a technician of some kind as opposed to being stuck in a kitchen for 13 hours at a time.

So, watch this space......

Honeymoon - A Photo Entry

On the Sunday morning we made a brief trip to my mums to see Matthew before setting off on our honeymoon. We collected hubbys mum, James and Liam and bought them back to our house before setting off on the 3.5 hour trip to Bristol.

We stopped the night in a branded hotel chain in the city centre. We were on the 7th floor up and had this lovely view from the lift area.

We were situated in a beautiful location and explored a little of the city whilst we were there. Bristol was nothing like I expected. I thought it would be ok but I loved it. It's certainly somewhere I would love to visit anothre time. Maybe as a full weekend break next time.

We ate at a restaurant a few miles out of Bristol on a large leisure complex. This night we had mexican. We had the starter platter to share with bbq chicken wings, nachos, corn on the cob, potato wedges and onion rings. That was delicious then hubby chose a mexican style lamb shank and I had steak. It was a lovely evening and nice to be away from all the planning.

We set off early Monday morning to Newquay in Cornwall and explored the local scenery before finding our accomodation.

Newquay is a fair size seaside town but has the most stunning beach.

All of these pictures are the same coast area. Theres just a few meters between each individual picture. Cornwall's coastline is long and has many bays and coves giving real depth to the land and so many different views. It's all Newquay beach but from different angles and where the gaps are in the rocks.

We booked into our beautiful little bed and breakfast in Crantock, a few miles away and it was a beautiful little house. It was an old vicarage and this was the view from our room.

We were situated a short walk from Crantock village and were just a few minutes walk from the beach.

Crantock beach is divided into two parts.

1. The estuary.

2. The Surfers beach.

It is a beautiful area and on our first afternoon we took a walk across the beach from the estuary and up some sand dunes....

Then up through a field....

We followed the coastal route along more fields and found a lovely little cave.....

We finally made it back to solid land and had a drink outside a pub overlooking the sea as we rested. The route back along the road was much faster.

We spent our evenings in Newquay the first two nights dining at an Indian Restaurant and a Seafood and Steak restaurant.

For  a long time I have been wanting to try scallops and I gave them a go as a starter.

I had seared scallops with a garlic and herb butter served with a homemade tomato salsa.

It was probably my most favourite dish of my holiday. It was beautiful. It was simple but fantastic. It's something I will definitely be trying at home one day. I then had the steak meal which was also lovely but I was far too stuffed for dessert.

On the last night in Crantock we went back to the hilltop pub and restaurant where we'd finished up when we took our hike. The food was lovely but nothing was going to compare to my scallops the night before.

We spent some time at a theme park which had a special victorian town feature. It was like going back in time and I really loved the exhibition. The lighting, building displays and everything were spot on. It was huge, like a real village with everything from horse grooming to shoemakers to solicitors to the original style post office. I loved this. I have always had a love of all things Victorian England. I especially have an interest in the darker side of it. (I do still have an obsession with the murders of Jack The Ripper and I am now discovering Sherlock Holmes) However I didn't think so much of the Blitz (World War 2 attack on London) exhibition. In fact all things war related scare me but that's another story.

There were beautiful gardens at this theme park and a mini thrill ride section. That was mostly for kids but hubby and I did go on one of it's biggest rides. A mini rollercoaster. A kid on before us was the same age as James and I bet our James would have loved it.

Our days were long and we did the sights. We saw Lands End, the furthest South West point of England.

We also took a trip to a working cider farm. That was much more interesting than I thought it would be and I got to sample some cider. I've never been a cider drinker at all so it was nice to try something new. I liked the traditional old style "scrumpy" which was lovely. It was fruity without the sparkling side of cider you normally get. I was quite impressed.

The honeymoon had to come to an end though and we spent the last night of our break on the grounds of a stately home in Bristol as we broke up our journey back.

We didn't stay here, but to the side of this glorious building. This was where we dined the last night.

So, in all I had the best week EVER. :)