Dreams Nearly Always Make Sense When You Look Deeper

Last night I had a slightly disturbing dream.

We were on a family day out. Myself, hubby, his mum, and the 3 little boys. We were taking the boys on a train as James and Liam particularly love them.

We arrived at our destination which was the end of the line and got off the train.

Well, all but two of us did.

We had forgotten to get the babies off.

I watched in horror as the train began to back away from the station.

Hubby ran after the train in panic as it sped up and slowly disappeared into the distance. I was distraught and in tears, I then woke up.

With a little work this morning, I came up with the following:

"Watching a train leaving the station is a sign of an evitable separation."

It seemed so strange to dream this the night James began pre-school. In a years time, I will be doing the same with Liam. I think my brain is preparing me to accept that these little boys are little boys and no longer my babies. Whilst I am incredibly proud of who and what my little men have become and are becoming, I realise I am having to let go of my babies. That they are becoming real little people in their own rights.

They are both already so independent already, it just makes me feel that they need me just that little bit less once they start schooling of some kind.

Needless to say James loved his day at pre-school yesterday. He wouldn't eat his packed lunch but he's at a stage where if he doesn't want to eat he wont. He's the same at home too so it wasn't a real surprise. What did surprise me was about mid-way through the day, James had a little time upset. 90 minutes after I had left him there he realised I wasn't there. He calmed down when he was allowed a play in the garden.

When I went to collect him, the kids were all sitting on chairs in a circle waiting for their mums or dads. It was so cute seeing them acting all grown up at such a young age. It really did fill me with pride. James bought home a painting, a library book for us to look through and discuss and a little folder for me to fill in as his "All about me" file. I need to fill in things he likes, dislikes, favourite toys, favourite foods. He can draw pictures of his house and family and practice writing his name. I think it's great for them and will make a wonderful keepsake in the future.

Liam didn't seem too worried James wasn't around. We had quite a nice quiet morning just the two of us which he seemed to enjoy.

How Quick Those Babies Grow

Excuse me if I am a little sentimental today but here's the reason....

3 years ago, I was 3 months pregnant.

Today, my little James who will be 2 and a half years old on Sunday, went off to pre-school.

 James sits proudly with his backpack and packed lunch

 James and Matthew on the walk to school

 The little sheep backpack. Awwww

 Very much proud and excited to be going to school.

 Running along with lunch in hand.

Waiting patiently to go in.

I have an hour before I have to leave to collect him but he has really been looking forward to his big day. They had an open day on Saturday so he was able to re-familiarise himself with the building that we tried a month or so ago. He loved the freedom and being able to go from table to table of crafts, painting, building blocks, puzzles. But being James his favourite place to be was the car mat where he will spend a long long time with the cars. 

I wonder how he is doing with sharing with a fair few other kids. He made a new friend who was also starting today whilst waiting to go in. A Matthew of all names, so he and Matthew have already been hanging out together.

He is only going once a week to begin with as we have to pay but for 3 hours I think it's a good experience for him. When he is 3 the playgroup is government funded but we thought it would be good for him to mix with kids his own age and a little older. This can really help with his speech and interactive skills. He is the sweetest kid I have ever known. All my boys are special but in different ways. Matthew is the smart one. James the sweet natured one and Liam is certainly the independent one. They all have these qualities but they stand out more in each boy mentioned.

I can't wait to go and collect him and give him a big old hug! I am expecting him to come out a tired little boy after going in full of life and excited.

But I bet I missed him far more than he missed me. :)

Life In The Country

We are certainly in the throes of spring here in jolly Eastern England.

And I absolutely LOVE it.

Living in the country would not suit everyone. There's the spiders for starters, then the flies, the wasps, the pollen. I do get hay fever myself but it's a small price to pay for living surrounded by beauty and how nature should be.

I love everything about country living. The people are far friendlier than those in the town I lived before. The community offers more for kids, the kids are included in everything and there is always so much going on. The village itself is old and un-damaged from big chain stores. It's independent and surviving.

The landmarks, the historic nature of such an old village and the local views are beautiful.

We've now lived here for almost a year and although life is VERY different to how it was back in Colchester, I would not change a single thing.

So much has changed, family, friends, lifestyle but I am more than happy with how things turning out.

The simpler life is more enjoyable by far. It's definitely one of our better ideas moving out of a town.

Matthew

Around this time 8 years ago, I fell pregnant with my first baby.

Look at him now!!!

He is growing more and more independent by the day.

Gone is the "Mum, Can I have......?" stage.

In comes the "I've made myself a sandwich/drink/I've got the babies a snack" stage instead.

I am super proud of my big man and love him dearly. 

Concerned

Very rarely do I comment on set diets but the more I read about the HCG diet, the more concerned I am for those on it.

I never have been a fan of fad diets/supplements/superdiets/pills/surgery.

I don't believe weight loss can be a quick fix for anyone.

What worries me most on the HCG is that it's based around chemicals and a 500cal diet.

If there's one thing I have learnt from this years Biggest Loser (UK) is that deprivation of calories (below 1000 for women and 1200 for men) results not only in loss of fat but muscle volume. As muscle dies, it doesn't come back as it was. This raises the risk of many disabilitating illnesses by 30% and in some cases can bring on early osteoperosis (since many cut out all dairy).

Not to mention severe reduction of calories can cause heart attacks. Memory loss is also likely. Not to mention the effects on the guts and bowels. Side effects are rarely pretty.

The other thing that concerns me?

Let's say for arguments sake that the person/s on it reach their goal weight! First off, well done. Reaching a goal is never easy.

What then?

Do they.....

a) go back to a far healthier 1500/2000 cals a day and suffer the subsequent weight gain that is imminent when you up calorie intake
.
or....

b) stick to the 500 cals and dwindle away with what is effectively a chemically enhanced eating disorder.

I know the success rate is high, but it doesn't seem at all safe to me. Certainly not long term. I am worried about this and I care enough to speak out about it.

It may be a long road doing it yourself or with a slimming club but little and over time is far better than 20lbs in a month and it is easier to keep off.

This article also raises some issues I also feel could be addressed. This isn't the HCG as far as I know but VERY similar.

500 cal diet

Please ladies, those of you on HCG, I wish you the very best of luck but don't let it take over. You are all beautiful as you are and I just want you to be healthy. x

Now for the family news....

I'm long overdue a real update.

The holiday last week was great fun. Rather than bore people with stories, here are some pics with some descriptions instead.

James and Liam on a giant deckchair

 James and Bob the Builder. Both babies love him.

 Matthew with his light sabre type thing

 Boys on the Cars. They love that ride.

 Sometimes, even in the middle of an entertainment, in the middle of the afternoon, when a Barney show is on, little boys need to take a nap.

 Table Hockey

 Liam being a big boy on a ride by himself.

We had a great few days if a little bittersweet. The weather was good. Matthew stayed in my nans room so she didn't have to be on her own (My Grandad should have been there). We thought of him alot and there were a few tears. 

Kids entertainment was fantastic as always and we all quite enjoyed the Beatles tribute band.

I only got photos for the first 2 days since the battery camera died. Can only imagine it must have been knocked and turned on in my handbag, sigh.

On Saturday night my mother in law stayed over. Hubby and I went down to the local pub (3 minutes walk from my house) and had a lovely evening getting to know some of the locals. The pub is owned by a local celebrity. A few months ago, the couple who own the pub were on The Apprentice raising awareness of their baby product - The BABYGLOW. A babygrow that has a built in thermostat which makes the clothing change colour when the baby gets too hot or too cold. It's now doing very well thanks to Kiddicare and has been sold in 16 countries. Best of luck to them with the business.

Speaking of babies...... I am very happy to announce that I am to become an aunty in October. :) Hubbys brother and sister in law are expecting their first baby so it's very exciting! We've known about it a couple of months but I feel safe sharing the happy news now she's about 14 weeks in and the scan went well for them.

What makes it all the more exciting is that they have been trying for 4 years for a baby. No real fertility issues were discovered despite tests. They were not legible for help with fertility until they had been trying for 7 years. We're all incredibly happy for them and wish them all the best. She's had bad morning sickness and I can see them with a little girl. I can't wait. :)

I just wanted to share this since I know a couple of people are also struggling with a having a baby and want to carry on my campaign of never giving up! I have strong faith in all of those who are trying to concieve and remind them that it can and DOES happen. Hang in there and keep positive.

Sunday we did a car boot sale, selling some of the old kids stuff. We made over £80 profit. When we left home our 4X4 had the back seats down and we couldn't fit anything else in there at all. We came back with 2 bags. Most expensive thing sold for £10 and everything else went for £2 or less though a good 90% of what we sold went for 50p a time. We did really well. The weather was good, the site was huge and the people were happy to spend. I would definitely do it again in a year or 2 when the kids have grown out of even more things. They do grow up fast and their little tastes are changing all the time.

Progress

Weigh in Saturday had me 4lbs up.

Weigh in Monday had me 2lbs up.

Today I am back to 220lbs.

I don't think the weight gain in a few days was so much about what I was eating but the volume and lack of portion control. Not to mention the late night dinner on Friday.

Now I am back to normal sized portions, I am back to where I was before I went.

I've been stuck at the same weight a few weeks. I may not be able to exercise as easy the next couple of weeks since the schools are finished for Easter but I hope to break the stuck spell and lose a couple of lbs this week.

Bloating

I'm back from my break and boy do I feel bloated this morning.

Weigh in Monday to see the damage. :0)

New Target - 21 in 13

I am still 220lbs. Weighed in today as tomorrow  I am going away for a week and I am sure I will be too busy to weigh AND blog.

I've decided on a new target to aim for.

Quite an obvious one at that.

My next target is 199lbs.

Dare I go for a date?

Why the heck not? It works the majority of the time.

21lbs before 4th July.

What a result that would be!!!

That's 13 weeks away and an average of 1.6lbs per week.

It's realistic and doable.

This week will be testing as breakfast and main meals are included in the holiday package but I am going to try and eat healthy and I don't rest on holidays at all. Keeping the kids amused equals a worn out active mummy by the end of the week.

Self Perception.

I have to recommend the following link to every follower out there.

One of my most favourite bloggers left it on my last post and it really is an eye opener:

http://www.curvygirlguide.com/self/women-getting-real-about-weight/

It just goes to show that we are not always seen as we feel.

For a long long time I have been saying that the key to being a successful slimmer is to be honest.

However, there's always been one thing I have skirted around.

I openly say how much weight I have lost but never in this blog have I given out the True Figure on the scales.

At my biggest, 2 weeks after Liams birth, I was 292bs. Yep, I just admitted that. 20 stone 12lbs in English terms.

I am now floating around the 220lbs mark. That's 15 stone 10lbs.

In 18 months I have lost almost 25% of my body weight.

I would like to get to around 160lbs.

Weight has always been an issue.

Never in my adult life have I been below 215lbs.

I am close to getting to my lowest weight.

I am getting close to beating my personal best!

And trust me, I intend to do it before the end of this month.

Of course, all you have is my word for it.

So, I've dug out some pictures.

I particularly HATE this one: February 2009!

James is about 3 months old in this picture and I had just discovered I was pregnant again:

This is one of the very pictures I have of myself with Liam. Minutes after birth in September 2009.  (Look at the width of my arm!!!!)

A year later, September 2010 (at around 235lbs with less chins) and I am being photographed on holiday. I went a long time without being photographed. Or if I was, I would edit the photo to show as little of me as possible. That is beginning to change.

Come back soon for an up to date picture since I cannot do it myself and require oldest Son to come home from school and take a  pic of me. :)