Canterbury, Valentines Day and Trying To Remain Healthy

Hello Blogger, Hello Readers of Blogger, Hello Readers of Me!

Yes, I know I have become a bad blogger in recent weeks and I do apologise but my feet have barely touched the ground this week - let alone having my bum sit at the pc to catch up with the world. School holidays are a busy time. Especially when my hubby has a couple of days off.

Matthew had a lovely long sleepover at my nans this week. He stopped over Monday evening and we picked him up yesterday morning. He loves staying at my nans! We went round Monday evening as it was the anniversary of my grandads death to keep her company for a little and she was coping really well. She admitted she found the day before harder as it was the Sunday morning everything happened but in all she is doing really well.

Valentines Day went well.  Hubby had a problem at work and warned me he may be late but he got home a little after his normal time so it didn't spoil my plans. We had a lovely home cooked 3 course meal. That was delicious!

Starter: 

Mackeral Pate on grilled Ciabatta

Served with Wild Rocket Salad

Low fat pepper and chilli Dressing

Main:

Beef Bourginon

Dauphinois Potatoes

Broccoli, Green Beans, Sugar Snap Peas

Dessert: 

Chocolate Pots

Vanilla Ice Cream

 

That was served with a bottle of beer since I had a driving lesson early the next morning and didn't see it fit to open a luxury bottle of wine when it would play on my mind. It was a delicious meal and I enjoyed cooking it. I love foods that are easy to prepare and can just do it's magic in the oven. 

 

Hubby surprised me with a box of chocolates. They are now all gone except for the liqueurs. I'm not a big fan of them but I may give one a go - you never know, they may surprise me.

 

Matthew phoned me in the evening to ask if we had a good Valentines meal. He's a little sweetie! We had a nice little chat and he went back to watch tv with my nan as football was on tv. That boy has his priorities, haha.

 

I was going to buy myself a bunch of flowers but the local shop had identical flowers to the week before in a red cellophane packaging rather than the normal white/clear and selling them at £3 a bunch more than normal. Call me stubborn, but I know next week they will be back to normal price! I love the way V Day can become a premium for simple little pleasures in life. I wouldn't actually be surprised if said £3 more expensive flowers are actually reduced to normal price if there are any left when I visit said shop later.

 

Wednesdays driving lesson was a success. I feel I am really getting somewhere now.

 

We then went to Canterbury. 

 

 

Hubby, myself, the two little boys and my mother in law went to visit hubbys sister. It had been her birthday on Monday so took the oppertunity of being school holidays and Matthew being happy at my nans to make the 200 mile round journey. The kids travelled well and we had a lovely day out. We also got to meet my S-I-L's boyfriend for the first time and they seem very happy after almost a year togerher. 

Canterbury is a beautiful city in Kent. My S-I-L is at uni here and whilst I have been here a couple of times there is something magical about the place. It is a Cathedral city and James took much interest in trying to look at the Cathedral. Unfortunately it is a place you have to pay to go into and he was only able to look through the gates but he loved looking.  

He'd have loved it more if he could have got closer to see this view and have a look round inside it:

I must confess that in recent years I have become increasingly interested in older architecture and whilst I could never be described as a religious person, I find something so special and humbling in religious architecture. I love the churches, the cathedrals, the temples, even the ruins offer so much of a feeling of love, hope, faith, grandeur and beauty. There also lies an underlying feeling of grief and haunting. Years ago the churches and such were the centre of the community where marriage and birth were highly celebrated and others were laid to rest. A religious building is what covers all of life as we know it.

 

In the above picture is the gateway to the city,  A huge castle like building with 2 tunnels going through it have to be passed to get in or out of the centre of Canterbury.

Canterbury is a mix of both modern and historical buildings. I love the way Starbucks on the right looks so old amongst the traditional architecture. But as it is a highly historical place with so much in it's past, they have abandoned the normal look with the SB logo and gone for something a lot more traditional looking. I like it alot. :)

We got back fairly latish on that evening so M-I-L stayed over night. This gave hubby and I an oppertunity to go out for the evening. We went to our favourite local Indian restaurant and had a couple of drinks in the local pub afterwards. It was a lovely relaxing night after a long and busy day.

Yesterday we went into our local town of Sudbury. A small town just 2 miles away, not quite so historic but it's our local place to shop:

It's a nice little town with just about everything you need. I took the boys into town on Tuesday by bus and they loved it. I grew up with busses and take them for granted but for a  2 and a 3 year old used to travelling by car, they found it very exciting being on a bus. After town yesterday we took M-I-L home and collected Matthew from my nans before taking the kids out for a meal. Having not seen much of Matthew in the last few days we wanted to spoil him a little. 

Hubby is back at work today and I intend to take it nice and easy today with maybe a walk to the shops being the only plan of the day. I need to catch up on housework and get my fluids up. I normally drink a fair bit at home, coffee and water mainly but having 2 days out, I feel I have become dehydrated. I would normally drink between 6-10 drinks a day. Those busy days probably pushed at 4 drinks a day. 

 

My body was certainly telling me this last night when I felt like I was starting to get a water infection. I can only put it down to lack of fluids. There's nothing worse than feeling like you need to go to the toilet and you can't. Luckily, I know my body well enough to recognise the early onset of such a thing and upped my liquid intake immediately. Today I feel better in the bladder area than before and I hope that I have prevented an infection by just being sensible and takingcontrol of a minor issue before the issue took control of me.

Medical This, Gadget That and Everything Else In Between

For a good few days I have been wanting to write, I just haven't had the right words so I apologise if all this seems jumbled and a little thrown together. That's just how I am at the moment.

I have so much going through my mind, so many things I want to do, so many things I should do, I just don't have the energy. I probably have the time (even if I do spend my days wandering around doing things for the kids) I just don't do what I need to sometimes.

Tomorrow is the anniversary of my Grandads sudden death last year. That's had me thinking about life and "things" alot. We were lucky to have him in our lives and he was lucky that he didn't suffer a long illness with lots of pain and medication. My grandad loved playing a card game called crib. Years ago he taught me and I ended up playing in a team with him. I was in the team from when I was 16 until I had Matthew 7 years later. We saw a couple of players pass away over the years, including two in our own team. Ken was a good man and I worked for his daughter at one stage too, he died of a heart attack aged 58 about 5 years ago. I am still in contact with his daughter via facebook. Anyway, back to the point (I've already apologised for my thoughts being all over the place - so again sorry!) when my grandad died suddenly they continued with the team. After a few weeks they were struggling to get enough people together and gradually they stopped playing. This has upset me rather a lot. A lot more than I imagined. He played crib since the late 1940's and every Tuesday evening for over 40 years he would play crib. It's like another part of him has gone and been buried. Of course, finding out the week of the anniversary has probably been why this has had such a profound effect, another time I'd think it sad that something he had done for enjoyment for so long finishing would be sad, this week it's really been a shock. Just like a few months after his death, his old workplace where he finished off before retirement burnt to the ground. Little things bring back memories.

As Made by Nicola of NikNak designs for me a memorial last year. I thank her so much for this. x

Tomorrow I intend to phone my nan, I hope I don't get upset as I have been having "moments" this week. I worry about my nan. I know she is getting on well but she was there when it all happened (52 weeks ago today - the date anniversary tomorrow) and whilst my uncle is taking her out for dinner today and my mum has a day off work and will visit her tomorrow, I don't want her to think we're not thinking of her.

So, what's been going on besides me turning all sentimental and dwelling on the past?

SNOW!

And tons of it.

It started last Saturday night and snowed through to early hours on Sunday morning creating about 6 inches of it in the meantime.

The school was open on Monday but I couldn't even get the buggy onto the main paths so the kids got a day off.

Tuesday James went back but Matthew wasn't well so he got a second day off. After school James (with a lot of help from mummy) made a snowman:

James really enjoyed being out in the snow. He did the carrot nose, and I used a tomato chopped in half for the eyes. My scarf will need a wash once "Snowman" as James creatively named him disappears. He's still going strong even if the birds did peck his eyes off and he now sits in a large green patch as the grass is through.

Liam also loved the snow. You know it's cold out when a two year old keeps n his hat and gloves all the time.His delight was shown by the shouting of  "Issstmas!!!!!" thinking Christmas had come back.

We got a letter through about Liams hospital appointment and have had to reschedule it. They booked it for the one week hubby is doing a training course for his work. Abso-frickin-lutely typical. We have requested that the appointment could happen in the week commencing 6th April as hubby has a full week off work and he can travel anytime then. As it's an outpatients appointment, they are expected to book in by 7.15am. This is a good 90 minutes drive away so it will be an early start and I still have the other two and school to think of so hubby will have to take him by himself.

I also got a phonecall from the Mental Health Services regarding Matthews behaviour. It IS ADHD so he's now being referred to a local ADHD specialist at a meeting that will happen tomorrow. The first step now is for me to attend parenting classes on how to offer more support to Matthew and get some support myself. It's something I've been working towards for a long time, it's good to know that people have listened and seen some of the difficulties I face on a day to day basis. It would be good too if I could find people I can talk to about my struggles too.The school have been great and made me feel so much better. For a long time I've felt such guilt that I find Matthew hard work. That I shouldn't be struggling as my kids get older. That I am noticing more than ever that James and Liam are so much calmer and think things through compared to Matthew. They can sit still. They can complete tasks. They can do as they are told. I know it's never right for a mother to confess to having a favourite child, but it really hurts to think that you think of one of your OWN 3 children as being your least favourite. The guilt I have felt over that over the past couple of years has been immense. I never had a problem when it was just Matthew but seeing how kids can behave when they don't have behavioural issues was a huge eye opener as my babies turned into toddlers and now little boys themselves. I've felt really bad about alot of things and I don't want it to bounce back onto Matthew as it's NOT his fault in the slightest. I've done my best by him as much as I possibly could but now is an oppertunity for me to really help and become stronger and understand his little world a little more.

In happier news (that hasn't messed with my emotions this week) I have a new Iphone. For 11 months I have had no working mobile. The contract came to an end last March and I didn't renew it. People were able to call me but I couldn't call out. In fact my mobile phone became my watch and alarm clock. Then the kids smashed the touchscreen top last week.

I never thought I had much need for an iphone. I never really missed my old phone but hubby got a good deal through work so we both got one. I've been playing with it far too much and spending less time on the pc hence the lack of updates here. I like the city building and animal building games far too much and facebook etc is available to all. I've barely used the phone itself but the apps are very good. Haha. So much for me not being a gadget girl!

This week we are doing Valentines a day later than normal. Some silly girl (ie Me) booked a driving lesson for the morning after so that bottle of wine in the fridge will be enjoyed more after the lesson. I am cooking a nice meal for the two of us. I look forward to it.

I Don't Like Waiting.

I know it's only been a few days but I am getting impatient at how Matthew was assessed last week. I don't expect to hear anything back before half term (school finishes for a week Feb 10th) but his teacher did say that the nurse did think there was a problem.

WELL HELLO NURSE! GUESS WHY YOU HAD BEEN CALLED IN IN THE FIRST PLACE????

I'm relieved he's been looked at, I am pleased that people are trying to help, it's just what can I expect as a diagnosis.

We could get the ADHD diagnosis..

We could even have the possibility of a form or Autism though it is fairly unlikely.

I will be very surprised if we are NOT diagnosed with ADHD.

Symptoms include:


Excessively, consistently and involuntarily having difficulty:

• Remaining seated when required - Matthew is the worlds worst fidget pants. In school he has even been given an object to play with to keep him still and focussed.
• Waiting turn in group situations - Matthew doesn't like waiting, always rushes to be first.
• Following instructions - I have to constantly repeat instructions.
• Playing quietly - If he's not running around shouting as he's playing football and giving his own commentary then he is humming away at every task from playing on the 3ds, to watching tv to even eating dinner.

Other common symptoms include:

• Shifting from one incomplete activity to another - Matthew never seems to finish anything without being watched and encouraged.
• Interrupting others - Will often interrupt conversations and has been having many problems with this at school.
• Engaging in physically dangerous activities without considering the consequences - For a boy of 8 years Road Safety is a major concern for me.  I DAILY have to remind him we need to be quiet so we can hear traffic when we have a main road to cross. Smaller roads aren't so bad but I do have to constantly tell him not too run off too far ahead on the way to school or back from school because of this. James has better road knowledge and though he is only 3, he has a good understanding of why the road is dangerous.

In short Matthew just doesn't think things through.

There are 3 types of ADHD:

• Predominantly hyperactive-impulsive
• Predominantly inattentive
• Combined (the majority of ADHD cases)

I think Matthew will have the Combined form.

Matthew is not a bad kid in the slightest. He cares, he isn't rough with other kids and he always wants to help. It can just be infuriating at times when you feel you are constantly repeating yourself. When nothing seems to go in. When he doesn't seem to listen to a word you say.

I love my little boy to bits, I just want an official diagnosis so we can learn how to move forward together with this.

If it means medication, me and hubby attending a workshop on understanding ADHD or even Parenting Classes to be more supportive with him then he deserves it.

I feel a bad mother so often that of the 3 boys, Matthew is the one that makes me angriest and most frustrated. I realise it's not his fault and I don't like myself for it at all. Yet, I can't give him all the attention all the time.It's hard to find a balance but one I will hopefully find over time.