A Different Type of Milestone

I often praise my kids and record milestones with them, however, this post is about the other end of the scale.

Yesterday we had a big family meal as a surprise for my nan as she celebrated her 80th birthday.

She does well really, she's doing good with mobility, she's had alot of illness and recovery in her life and she is on a number of pills for life but the main thing is she is here.

She survived breast cancer about 25 years ago. She then developed ovarian cancer 10 years later. She's had her gall bladder removed. She has chronic IBS but she gets on with life as best as she can.

The last two years have been much harder on her since we lost my grandad but she is a fighter who just refuses to give up.

I have always been close to my nan and over the years many things have changed but that hasn't. I do admit and I am ashamed to admit it that sometimes though, the woman drives me mad. I guess that's love for ya. As she is getting older she does find things harder but refuses to listen to anyone else. Or if she does, she gets the opinions of 6 people and finds it ever more confusing when people have different ideas. She doesn't seem to listen much either.

I guess the same could be said of all elderly people to an extent but we are all so proud of her and how she is getting on by herself.

Yesterdays meal out was not a complete surprise, she knew she was going out for dinner with my mum, dad and brother. We took her a present and card round yesterday afternoon but made the excuse we had to leave as we were seeing friends later that night. I bought her a metal jug filled with fake lilacs. She has a big lilac bush in her garden that I have always loved since I was a child so it seemed fitting for a big birthday. My Uncle, Aunt and two cousins also came. One bought his girlfriend so when she arrived at the pub with my mum, dad and brother she was surprised to find a table with the rest of us there. There were 14 of us in total and we had a lovely evening.

I even made the birthday cake.

I actually wish I had taken photo's of the cake at home as this doesn't do it justice at all. It came out amazingly well. Inside is a Victoria Sponge with a strawberry jam filling. To make it a little more special I added a tin of strawberries to the jam. That added a little more "wetness" to keep the cake moist and alot more flavour and texture to the filling. The topping is a basic buttercream with a little strawberry syrup from the tin and coated with freeze dried strawberry pieces.

It tasted perfect. My nan loves her strawberries and her cakes so I think I got it right on this occasion.

The meal was lovely and the kids enjoyed themselves. Matthew went back to my nans for a sleepover and we got the little fellas back shortly after 10pm. They fell asleep in the car on the way back as they were so tired but they did great staying up and eating so late.

We've had a great start to the holidays with days out to local places and even a trip to the seaside so far but we're now waiting for the weather to pick up again before we do anything too exciting.

Today we are having our bedroom wall insulated so maybe by the weekend we will have a nice newly decorated bedroom. It was nice before but I want a complete change so we may go from this:

To probably something much more relaxing and serene like a duck egg blue but I feel there is enough blue in the house. I want something relaxing and not too boring.

All The Small Things

When you become a parent, you realise ALL the small things in life are not so small.

That leaf falling off a tree is doing so to make way for the next season. That leaf becomes a thing of wonder to a small child. The shape, the colour, the texture, it is more than just a leaf to a little person.

That puddle was just made for jumping in.

The little things are what the little people love most.

Today I am a little bit... maybe not tearful....but definitely emotional. I am very much aware of those days beginning to fall away from us.

Liam is growing up far too fast. My "baby" is doing me so proud at the moment but I see his toddler days are fast disappearing.

Today, Liam bought this home from his playgroup:

The little darling is not 4 yet and beginning to write his name! If not, he made a great fakery of it. My baby is using a pen to write letters. I am so proud of him but at the same time, I'm giving up all the baby and toddler things.

Of course it's fantastic seeing them grow, seeing them learn, seeing them progress but it doesn't mean you don't miss the baby days.

It's 10 years to the week that I announced I was pregnant for the first time. My best friend married on May 24th (or 25th) and I was approximately 6-7 weeks pregnant at the time. I couldn't say nothing before because I wanted her day to be about her. I hid the nausea on the morning of her wedding. Whilst I was getting ready in my bridesmaid dress, having hair and make up done with her, the other bridesmaid and her mother they were all drinking champagne - I was sipping tea.  I have only ever drunk alot of tea when I have been pregnant. I had a small glass of wine with the meal to avert too much suspicion but I couldn't stomach it. Even after the wedding no-one noticed my lack of drink. We were all too busy having a good time and everyone else was quite jolly. Even when my ex and I were staying at the hotel she married at, we sneaked off early as I was worn out and feeling less than perfect. I blamed him saying he'd drunk too much. Ha! It wasn't all a lie, he had and I hadn't drunk anything.

It was when she was either the day after or the day she was due back from her honeymoon that I finally told her. I sent her a text along the lines of  "Congratulations, I hope she had had a good time and all that and here's to a great future. I've got a little bit of good news to share too, in January I'm going to be a mummy!!!"

That was 10 years ago. I remember it ALL so clearly. Those early days of pregnancy were filled with so much hope and love and even though my own relationship wasn't that amazing at the time, I had something, somebody to really focus on.

I'd never change my past for the world.

I may have gone through the mill a few times as well as under and over it but it's made me who I am and without a few wrong turns in the road, I wouldn't have reached todays path. Life's too short for regrets.

I can't believe it was 10 years ago that I first realised I was pregnant. That time has gone so fast and I am now stuck with this strapping young lad:

I am so proud of all my beautiful babies. xxxx

Where Is The Goddamn Summer?

First off, Congratulations to Nicky on the arrival of her youngest little gentleman who arrived 15 days after his due date on Friday morning. Welcome to the 3 boys club Nicola. :)

It's been as chaotic a week as ever. From School sports day to a sneaky weekend away with the hubby.

The school sports day was cold and damp. This is meant to be spring, or as I like to call it, pre-summer and even today I have had to put the heating on. I have a cold. I am not happy with the weather situation AT ALL. Anyway, back to the point, sports day. James and Matthew were both taking part and siblings are always put into the same colour team as they do team sports in the morning. Hubby and I went along and watched our boys do the team sports  The were running along balance beams, throwing mini bean bags into hoops, dressing up in hat scarf and a bag, balancing bean bags and doing a jump in a hula hoop. The boys team came fourth out of four which did not please my big competitive Matthew. However.... He did win his running race in the afternoon! Well done big man!! Unfortunately, due to having to pick Liam up from playgroup we missed his special moment but I did get this gorgeous photo of my handsome man before we left:

And here is his Sports Day award that he is so proud of! 

Friday I took myself off into town for a long awaited haircut. I drove myself in on one of the busiest days of the week at a busy time and was really pleased with myself for going for a more challenging drive. I even remembered the ticket for parking. Our nearest town is great in the way that it does free parking everywhere all the time for up to 3 hours. You just need to remember the ticket to show your due departure time in the car window or face a £70 penalty fine for failing to do so. So I missed that. Phew.

Whilst I was out, hubby booked a surprise little break for us for the Saturday night. We would spend some of the day in Southwold and spend the evening and night in the town of Beccles. These are rather strange places indeed. Southwold is stuck in a time warp. A quaint little seaside village with a small town, a pier and a lighthouse and it's claim to fame is that it's where the Adnams brewery is based. Alot of the local beers and ciders come from there. The majority in our region though come from our neighbouring town Bury St Edmunds Greene King brewery. Suffolk is famous for it's alcohol. The town of Beccles is unlike any other I've ever visited. We thought we would go for chinese that night but despite there being 3 takeaways for chinese only 1 has a restaurant and that is closed on Friday and Saturday nights. Now, I can understand the takeaway being busier on these nights but surely they would be the best nights for the restaurant? Crazy people. There are no clothes shops. Not ones I know of at least. There are 3 betting shops, 6 charity shops, a Tesco, a Co-Op and 2 pubs. One was the place we stayed at, the other one we took a risk and had a drink in there but swiftly moved back to our hotel/pub.

We wouldn't say we had a horrible time, we found it all rather funny to be honest. We enjoyed the time to ourselves but won't be rushing back to either of those places any time too soon.

Weight Watchers is still going strong. I am now 17lbs lighter than when I started so it feels good.

That Didn't Last Long

Ha, I'm back.

I just couldn't resist it.

Adding to the list of things I have started but have no idea of when I will ever finish them I can now add "closing down my blog" amongst them.

First of all, thanks to all those who took the time for the little messages on here and facebook (Apologies to Alissa for accidentally deleting your comment as I tried to allow it on my iphone but slightly went the wrong box - SORRY!!!!!)

So, why am I back and why did I feel enough was enough?

Well,  I am going to focus on a specific little comment from Strawberri that REALLY made my morning and made me think about my blog in general.

I started my original blog in 1998/1999 at Diaryland. Some of you also came over from there and I adore the little friendships I have made through a persons words and life.

I've covered the lot. Teenage stuff, the single life, dating, boyfriends, work, a number of different jobs, friends, clubbing, pregnancy, marriage, divorce, babies,  death, moving house, remarriage, children growing up, weight loss, health scares. Been there and done it ALL.

I've got personal, I've got tearful, I've been overflowing with happiness, there's been laughter, tears, love, hate, desperation, solitude, anger, hurt, humility and contentment. I've had long spells of hard times and I've been having many happier times in recent years.

But I've always been ME....

I may not get 10+ comments on every post I write. I may not do giveaways. I may not be great at posting recipes, at making crafty type things I may not advertise or try to sell things or have a really inspiring story to tell week upon week.

I no longer have babies, I have BOYS.

They really are growing up so blooming fast let me tell ya! I was given confirmation today that Liam is in nursery in September so I am going to have 3 boys in the same school building. 4 months today and my BABY Liam will be FOUR years old.

So you know, I've always been just me and sometimes that doesn't feel enough.

The internet and the world of blogging has changed SO MUCH in recent years and I can't say if it's in a good way or not. It sometimes feels like the whole idea of blogging has changed.  It just makes me feel that little bit more unimportant that I haven't got a gimmick to sell my blog like many of them do. I don't do themes or prizes and I feel boring. I guess that's just me getting older! ;)

So, if you are still reading this then thank you. I am going to keep on blogging for a while and see how it goes.

Au Revoir

I am really losing track of time, I am really not feeling this blog anymore either. Facebook has become my main form of communication to the entire world these days.

There's nothing too new I can add here.

The kids are growing up.

Me and hubby are happy.

Life revolves around school days and days out.

I feel happy.

There is not anything really bothering me in the way that I need to vent. *Some things will ALWAYS bother me but not too badly. hehe*

I just don't feel I can take this blog any further.

Life is just good. I'm settled, I'm happy. Nothing really big or exciting is going on right now but that's ok because it's how I have begun to enjoy life. Whilst it's good to have an exciting life, it's also good to know things are just going as I want them to.

All that into consideration, I feel now is a good time to bring this blog to a close. Thank you for the friendship and support over the years and there are some of you I know I will keep in touch with via other sites and I will continue to read blogs, but this just isn't for me anymore.

All the best to the wonderful people in blogland.

Becca xxx