Emotions A Go Go

Today I had to drop Matthew at school a few minutes early. I let him go down to the doors a good 5 minutes before the doors open and to play with his friends before school starts. I don't normally do this but I had to be back home for as close to 9am as possilble due to a workman coming to fix our front gate and replaster part of a wall in Matthews bedroom. We got to school early, rushed back to be home for 8.55am and now it's just after 9.30 and yup, you guessed it, not a workman in sight.

It just feels like that's how June can be summed up this year.

Alot of racing around, alot of trying to please others and getting tied in knots and feeling deflated by the let downs despite my best efforts.

It seems the that the general feel for this month amongst most people I know has been that of bleugh.

I know my situation isn't helped by the fact today would have been my Grandads 80th birthday. My mum and nan have obviously been feeling pressure too in the past week or so. It's been a funny few weeks.

James has been off nursery this week. He seemed very tired out on Sunday but went in on Monday. It was evident on his return that he still had no energy. I literally had to drag him home from school. Tuesday was pretty much the same and he hadn't really eaten much since Friday evening. So I think part of his major lethagy was lack of food. Yesterday though he did eat a fair amount of snacks and half his dinner so I know he is on the mend. This is particularly good for me since I have had wall to wall whinging and whining from him for those days. A constant hum of unhappiness since he could not explain what was making him feel ill/sad. As much as we love them there does come a point where as a mum you feel "if he cries again, then so am I". It can really wear down the most cheerful optimistic of people (ie Moi) when you have kids that aren't at their best. On top of this Liam has been a daredevil and been having bumps of all sorts. From opening the door hard and bashing himself round the head with the straight edge of the door resulting in a raised lump and bruise on his forehead to falling off the sofa and bumping the same part of his head. He now tends to have a bruise on a bruise.

Throw in the kids refusing to go to bed, Matthew doing whatever I say no to (or so it feels) and I am a big mess of a mum feeling that no matter what I do, I can't please anyone, let alone everyone. Any efforts I make to do anything feel to be in vain.

I love them all more than words could ever say, but every now and then, a mum deserves a breather. Motherhood certainly does have it's challenging days/weeks.

On the plus side, it's only 3 weeks and a few days until our holiday. I have £40 of vouchers to spend on new clothes before I go too. I also need a haircut and a splash of a new colour. I need to start feeling good again and a few changes and could do me good.

I am thinking of going short with my hair.

But when I say short I mean Long-short not short-short so I can still have a little movement and play with pretty little hairclips and things.

Something like Exhibit A.

Or possibly even Exhibit B.

I am no hair expert but I actually think they are pretty much the same cut. Just B is a more relaxed way of A thats been straightened and sprayed to the hilt.

What do you think? I need a bit of a change and I am feeling brave enough to take the plunge. Maybe as early as next week, if not that soon then certainly by the time I go on holiday.

Womens Health - Part 2

Getting the UID is proving much more tricky than I anticipated. The Doctor gave me the impression I could turn up, get it fitted and go home. However, I thought I would do the sensible thing and book an appointment. First I was asked if I had my swab results back. This is news to me so she explained first I need an initial talk with a nurse and have some sort of medical assessment down there....  that will be sent off to see if I am a successful candidate for it. (I think it tests for STI's but they didn't make that clear) The earliest they can fit me in is July 12th and they request it to be a week or so after a visit from AF. That should be the week I take a break from the pill, so I explained that and also that I was just transferring from depo and haven't had a visit from AF since early 2008 (due to 2 babies and going directly on the jab). She said it was unlikely AF would arrive the first month off depo but to take the next month of the pill to get through the assessment and the fitting which should be able to be fitted (assuming swabs are fine) either August 3rd or 10th depending on when they can fit me in and again depending on a visit from AF.

Er.... Hello. I psyched myself up for this believing it was going to be quite painful having a small copper device inserted through my cervix directly into my uterus* and I was all mentally set to get it done and over with to discover that it will probably be a good 6-8 weeks before it can be done.

The wait is enough to make a woman think maybe she should stick with the pill for a year or 2 to get my cycles back then deal with it all. The sooner it's done the better.

To be fair, the pill is ok. Not a single side effect but I know it doesn't work so well in larger women and is not recommended so much after the age of 35 so I'd only get 3 yrs out of it realistically compared to the IUD lasting around 8 yrs. So I am best to take the plunge and not worry too much about the fitting of it in the meantime. So yeah.... Agh!!!!! springs to mind.

The first two weeks of my healthier eating has me 6lbs lighter. Ok, 4.5lbs of that was in week 1 and I didn't do quite so good this week but it's not detering me at all. (I am actually lighter today than yesterday so I do feel that is a good omen for next week already)


*Apologies for the graphic explanation.

What I Am Loving Right Now

Just because it's Saturday!

I predict this a future hit in jolly old Blighty.

Enjoy your Saturday night people. x

Family Catchup with Photos

Life in our little rural surroundings is just wonderful most of the time. Especially on days like this when the sun is out, the sky is blue and there's a hint of summer in the air. However, this is not expected to last. UK weather is in fact rather drab and grey most of the year.

Home life is good. We are a little on the poor side this month as we've had a lot to pay out including our car tax for 6 months and paying off the remainder of our holiday as we now go in less than 5 weeks, so that's a big chunk of hubbys wages paid out very quickly. Sometimes though, it's just nice to slow down life. Less money means less takeaways which is good for me when I am trying to lose weight. Week 1 has me down 4.5lbs. I am REALLY pleased with that. I NEED to lose the lbs, it's really getting me down and I am running short on new things to try without resorting to drastic measures such as slimming pills or asking to be put on the gastric band waiting list. I just need to stay REALLY disciplined with my eating plans and so far it's working as it should.

Another thing that could make a big difference is my birth control. I am hoping to get the IUD fitted Thursday evening and then I can come off the pill and my fertility will be no longer controlled by hormones and chemicals but a simple copper mechanism. Maybe that could help a little more too.

The kids are ..... well, the kids, they are at stages where things feel samey. As they grow older the milestones seem fewer and further between. As always though there are points of discussion:

1) James is off to his first ever birthday party this weekend. It's a joint 4th birthday for 2 kids in his class and it's at the local soft play centre. He has booked his birthday meal of chicken nuggets and potato wedges and has bought the birthday boy and girl a jigsaw puzzle each. He's going to have the best 2 hours!!!

2) Liam is currently obsessed with The Simpsons Movie. It's constantly on the tv. I feel like I recite many scenes in my sleep. He loves joining in with Spider-Pig and Greenday singing the Simpsons theme.

3) Still on the subject of the youngest man in the house, potty training is going incredibly well. He is doing a million times better than I could have ever imagined. It took James until he was 3 years 3 months to get potty trained. There is still almost 3 months until Liam turns 3 and he is really going for it. We may have 1 accident/spillage a day but so far so good. We'll give it another few days and at the weekend we are starting the potty training with big boy pants to get him used to them. When that is mastered we will do the same with him as we did Matthew and James and let him choose his own first pack of pants. (The trouble being is that I've never seen age 3-4 Simpsons/Spiderpig pants)

4) Matthew is back to school swimming. He loves it and it helps his confidence no end. He is feeling so grown up but has the attitude and argumentative streak of a 15 year old. :) He is still incredibly into his sport and football is still the big subject of the millennium. He is on a little spate of school trips at the moment. Last week they visited Bury St Edmunds (that and Colchester are our nearest big towns) to visit the Theater and look up some of the history of the area and record differences and similarities between the bigger town and our village. Today they are visiting a science fair at one of the Upper Schools in the area. Both of these are particularly impressive to Matthew since he loves history and science. He is doing well in all aspects of school but history, science and maths are where he excels. His writing has improved dramatically and if we can just get him to focus that little bit more then he'll be doing just amazing.

5) Driving is now going FABULOUS. Changing instructors really was the best move ever. Yesterdays lesson had me route finding. I was not being told specifically next left, 3 exit on roudabout etc. but "head towards Westley" "head towards Haverhill" so I was seeking out roadsigns, lanes, A roads and slip roads and it was a wonderful experience. I am really feeling like I am making huge progress and achieving what I want at long last. Hubby thinks I would suit a VW Beetle. And so do I!! I could really see myself driving one of these. :)

6) Hubby has decided to apply for promotion at work. He will be on a good further training wage that can go up very quick in a very short time. The downside, he may have to have odd days/the odd week staying in a different location as the training centre is around 200 miles away and it wouldn't be suitable for the daily commute. This could also mean that in a few years, we may need to relocate to be nearer that area for him to progress further. It's a bridge we will cross when and if we come to it but we only get one chance at life and I am the sort of person who believes that good oppertunities should be grabbed with both hands. Obviously-relocating would have us further away from family but we have to put our little family first and we are all at a good point in life where this could be a real gain for us all. The kids would be fine changing schools and it opens a whole new world of oppertunity for me and hubby. But that's in the distant future, he may not get this position but we do know that there is so much out there he is being reccommended to try and apply for that if this isn't the door opening he needs, there will be many more doors opening in coming months.

Photo Entry Woohoo

My lovely husband has discovered Instagram and has been playing with some fairly recent pictures.

 Liam at Legoland

 Matthew on the beach on our camping trip

James stuck in a sandy hole.

I have also been having a play with Instagram:

 

I had heard of Instagram a while back but never really took much interest and wasn't really that impressed of first looks. However, now I play with it myself and more and more people use it, the more I like it.  It's a good way to do things you can't normally do well with photos on a general computer programme without paying a lot of money.

Forgetting Instagram, I have also been taking photos of Liam. I think we have a mild case of chicken pox.

We know it's been doing the rounds and for the past 3 or 4 days Liam has been sporting a few suspicious looking spots on his torso, bottom, back, backs of legs and face. However, chicken pox is normally associated with scabby and blistery spots. We've been waiting for them to change to this but if anything, they appear to be getting lighter. There are a couple more each day but they do not look as evident as when I took the photos the other evening. He is well in himself. He doesn't have any itching or anything but they look like early chicken pox spots. It just seems strange that whilst it looked like it at first, it's looking less likely.

Matthew isn't too well today so he has the day off school. He's really not himself.

Not well but he can still turn on the smile.

New Week, New Things To Try. Now To Think About Making A Decision

As much as I love my hubby and kids, it's always nice and relaxing that first morning they are back to work and school after some time off. Hubby was only off the weekend but the kids have been off 9 days. So now mornings should be back to just me and Liam, that will soon have me feeling a little bit more "normal".

I DO miss routine. I love them all to bits but I don't seem to get anything done when the house is full. We tend to go out alot too when hubby is off work and it's always enjoyable. We went back to Stratford yesterday as it will soon be closing the car parks for the olympic games. We don't really feel like taking the kids on the trains around that time as London will be seeing an estimated 4 MILLION EXTRA people on it's train networks in the coming weeks. That is just mental!!!! So it's not going to be on our agenda. The car parks for Stratfords Westfield shopping centre hold 5000 cars and this will be closed from 18th June to the end of the Olympics in August for security reasons as you have to drive through the olympic village.

This time the kids got to meet some of the Olympic mascots. Well, their statues at least.

 

Every inch the sportsman in the family, Matthew enjoyed this much more than the other two. Matthew realises what a huge sporting oppertunity this is for England.

Yesterday was the first day back at school and rather uneventful. 

Today however has been chaos with a capital "C".

It all started so well, I was able to get an early appointment with the nurse for myself this morning directly after the school drop (More on that soon) and was just in the surgery to have another mum calling to me. It seems I should have sent in Matthews swimming gear today. They need it for 10.30 so could I get it to them before then. Ok, so I see nurse, rush home, pack his towel and swimshorts. Label them both. Pack them both and rush back to the school. As I have said many times, it's 20 minutes each way to the school. So by 10.10am I had arrived at the school a second time this morning.  I get there having rushed to be on time, hot and sweaty, my feet barely touched the ground to discover that within the last 5 minutes they had decided to call off todays swimming as the chemicals in the pool were not at a level they were happy with. 

T.y.p.i.c.a.l

Liam was not happy at being in the buggy so long as mummy rushed about. I let him out to walk to discover his nappy has come undone and he has a nice wet patch at the top of the back of his legs. 

W.o.n.d.e.r.f.u.l!

We then have to do a little shopping in the village. I need a few things from different places. The shops are busy. My patience is short. It's already been a long tough day and I had almost an hour to kill before collecting James. Somehow the different shops did tend to help time go by and Liam got the final 20 minutes in the park so I was able to relax for a little bit and unwind watching him on the slides.

He then kicks off major tantrum when we have to leave to collect James. He then cries all the way home. My brain is ready to explode. I have had a whining, crying angry 2 year old ALL morning and I had had enough.

So we finally get home, I make the boys lunch and no sooner than I've changed the said nappy and trousers and made Liam a ham sandwich then I go into the living room to find him sound asleep.

S.i.l.e.n.c.e.

B.l.i.s.s.

The nap didn't last too long but he's back to being a good little boy as always now. I guess the running about this morning was stressful for us both.

So............ my trip to the nurse.

It's because I want to come off the depo provera injection.

I wanted some advice as I have been thinking about getting the "contraceptive implant" fitted. (Sorry if you were getting excited then thinking that we had decided to have number 4 after all we're definitely over that idea - 3 is wonderful and enough for us.)

Since I don't want my next injection which is due this week I am temporarily on the pill until I decide whether to go for the implant as originally planned or give the IUS or IUD a try as they are all suitable for bigger women and are long term working. 

For my needs, I may actually be better with an IUD since it is NOT chemical/hormone based. Part of the reason I am changing my contraceptive is because of the weight gain it brings. It's hard enough shifting pounds without your contraceptive making it worse so this is a good option but I have to go to a specialist clinic to have it fitted. Another perk is that once fitted it works for 8 years. WOW. Downside, AF returns. Well, you can never have it all so I am now left with some bedtime reading to see what could be better. I had never really considered the IUD but it does seem an attractive alternative at the moment.

 

To Be Precise....

Never under-estimate a 3 year old.

This morning Liam dug out some old toys hubby and I had stored in our bedroom. It is the same set as this:

"Dine-sorrrrr" Liam shouted excitedly.
"Is he right James?? Is that a dinosaur?" I casually asked,
"No!" he responded matter of factly "It's a tyrannasaurus rex!!"

Well..... that told me!

2012 A Great Year For A Great Reign And For Great Britain.

You would have to be living on another planet to have missed the fact that this year has been and will continue to be a real big one for The UK.

The news this weekend has been dominated by the Queens Diamond Jubilee. Sixty amazing years as monarch. Queen Elizabeth has seen it all. The progression of technology worldwide, the space landings, wars, the progression of cars. In personal matters, she's been a wife, borne 4 children, has 8 grandchildren and if I believe correctly the second Great Grandchild is due in the summer.

I am far from what I would describe as "A Royalist" but as with the wedding of William and Kate last year, this country has done Royalty proud. The jubilee concert was amazing. There has been a real sense of Britishness around the countries. The kids have been really into it. And I am not too proud to admit that I still get tears in my eyes when I hear the National Anthem (God Save The Queen)  and a little video montage covering the last 60 years of her life had me full of tears too. I am a big soppy Brit girl.

So around the country, we have all been celebrating. The kids had parties at school, there were a couple of street parties around the village and Britain celebrated like this:

 Many streets across Britain were adorned by festive bunting.

 Huge crowds gathered in The Mall. The Approach Road to Buckingham Palace. On the average day there was a celebration of sorts at the Palace, this crowd was estimated at 1.3million plus.

 The Big Concert was held on the stage in front of Buckingham Palace. Some of the biggest stars over the past 60 years performed for The Royal Family. All were there except The Queens 94 year old husband Prince Philip who had been hospitalised due to a bladder infection. He is recovering well.

 The Street Parties of 2012 were in full swing over the bank holiday weekend. 4 days of celebrations were held Saturday through to Tuesday.

This weeks street parties echoed those of the 1952 Coronation.

 Some pretty patriotic nails.

 The Queen on stage at the Jubilee Concert with Prince Charles, his wife Camilla and some of the worlds  hugest stars. Paul McCartney, Tom Jones, Stevie Wonder, Robbie Williams, Will I Am,  Elton John, Jessie J, Kylie Minogue. The Queen was escorted on stage by the man who planned it all and wrote the Official Commonwealth Song "Sing" - Mr Gary Barlow (he of the band Take That)

 On the final day, The Red Arrows did an amazing fly past accompanied by a range of historical warplanes. Britain does it well when they put their mind to such matters.

 The beginning of the celebrations had a Royal show regatta when the River Thames was returned to it's glory days and used as a working River. 1.6million people lined the streets and bridges to watch the spectacle.

And of course.... No British Bank Holiday weekend is complete without RAIN.

Despite the rainfall Britain put on a fantastic show of unity. The rule Great Britain had over the world at various points in history may have diminished as more and more countries have got their independence over the years but it was still a fabulous weekend to experience. It truly was a once in a lifetime occurrance, I sincerely hope that in 5 and 10 years time we get to experience it all over again.

 Sixty Years Ago

Celebrating those Sixty Years upon the Royal barge on The River Thames.

And just to end my patriot journey, here is the official song being performed on the night. Introduced by Gary Barlow the song is performed by some singers from the Commonwealth and the female choir are Britains "Military Wives". Gary Barlow plays piano and looks so proud to be doing it!!! (And so he should be, Mr Barlow should be getting a knighthood for services to music and the efforts he made for his country,)



With all this in one weekend - I never thought I would hear myself say it but........

Bring on The Olympics!!!