Sunday, 27 February 2011

Closing In

3lb off since last Saturday.

Can I manage the last 3lb for this week?

3lb for the 20lb target.

3lb for the big 70lb loss.

I'd love to do it. Wish me luck.

Monday will have me back on the exercise route, I've been busy with the kids off school and being ill the past 7 days (I'm still not right) but I'm ready to plough back in with all guns blazing.

I am feeling rather confident and I am down to the next "stone" bracket. That makes a healthy happy change!

Tuesday, 15 February 2011

Grandad

On Sunday evening we lost him.

My poor old nan witnessed the start.

My Grandad came in from the garden after hanging the washing out, complained of a pain in his back and collapsed on the floor. She called an ambulance and waited for them to arrive. My nan had assumed it was his heart or a stroke.

On arriving at hospital he was alert and awake. Though he was still complaining about the pain in his back he was laughing and joking with my nan and my mum and the team trying to treat him.

It turned out it wasn't related to his heart at all but it was an anuerysm (a blocked swollen blood vessel) in his back.

He needed instant surgery. Without it he had no chance. With it, he had a 50/50 chance.

He was put to sleep and taken off to theater.

He never knew anything else.

My Grandad passed away asleep. He was in no pain so despite the fact we lost him during the operation I am so pleased he slipped away peacefully.

The aneurysm  had been there years and this could have happened at any time but it happened at home with my nan. There was no knowing it was there or how long it was there but the surgeon said the blockage contained calcium which means it had been there a very long time. He could have been living with a ticking time bomb for more than 10 years.

I never got to see him before his death but I was at the hospital when he passed away. I arrived there just after 6.30pm. I sat in a side room with my nan, mum and uncle and had a cup of tea with them. He was still in theatre and as much as I wanted to stay my family told me to go back for the kids and hubby. I didn't want to but with the not knowing how long he would be in surgery I left just before 7pm. I'm happy I made it there when I did. As soon as we got home my phone rang and my mum was in shock and just said "We've lost him, He's gone Beck," I mouthed the words to hubby and went straight into the living room to tell Matthew.

He took it as well as a 7 year old boy could and matter of factly told me "The Angels will take care of him and then when he's trained he can look after us."

It was hearing that which started all the tears with me.

He'd died at 6.45 whilst I was there. It sounds stupid but I am glad that was the time he went. I was there. I  arrived before it was too late. I was there in his last moments. I like to think maybe something in him made him know I was on my way to the hospital as soon as hubby finished work and he waited for me to get there before he left us. To me personally - That is a massive comfort.

I never had that oppertunity when my other nan died a couple of years ago

Matthew appeared to take it rather good.

Around an hour later Matthew was on the sofa by himself and I noticed his tears. He did so well, bless him. Hubby kept crying too and I was just in tears every few minutes.

The signs for recovery looked good. Instant help - in the night or in the car would have proved instantly fatal. He was conscious before the op. He was joking before he was taken off for surgery. We all thought things were more in his favour than not.

Yesterday he had the day off school as we spent the day at my nans trying to help with "getting things done". My nan appeared to be taking it rather well. She was keeping herself busy and talking. The kids being there helped too. There wasn't too many tears from anyone. I think we were all trying to be strong for the others.  The kids being there lifted the mood too. When I walked in the living room, I was so pleased to see my uncle sitting in his armchair. I had pictured it empty and seeing it occupied made it a little easier than to see a big grandad shaped gap. The only time I really cried was when my mum asked how I was. I started to say "Well, I think I am better than last night since I don't keep bursting into tears at the drop of a hat like I did at first." However, trying to say that sounded more like "Well, I think I am....sobsobsobsobsobsob etc."  With that my nan piped up, "I didn't understand a word of that" "Nor did I!" responded my mum and we turned the sobs into sympathetic laughter.

We stayed  a good few hours but thought we would leave them for more personal phonecalls and to give my nan a break. I'm glad we all had that together. Only at one point did my nan get really upset. That was when my brother and his family arrived too and she said "my whole family in one room again, just not HIM" we all got upset at that.

Another thing I found very touching was James reaction. He is only 2 but he knew something was going on. He kept looking at my uncle in a funny way as he was in my grandads chair and was really cuddly. He then went over to my nan, gave her a cuddle and looked at the picture above her head and said "Grandad" before looking again at my uncle. Though he is nowhere near old enough to begin to understand, James realised that yesterday was a very different day to any other.

Today I thought I was doing better. I've been remembering his ways, His demeanor and everything that made him special. Nothing was too much trouble for him. He'd do anything for anyone and was always such a happy man. That's been in my head most of the day.

Then I started writing this. I haven't stopped crying since I started writing. So I think now is a good time to end here and go back to those good memories.

Love You Grandad

Ernie Frank Hall - 28/6/1932-13/2/2011

Sunday, 13 February 2011

Hoping for the best.

My Grandad has been rushed into hospital again.

He has a very swollen artery close to the heart.

This time he is undergoing an emergency operation and has a 50/50 chance.

This is the most severe his health has got.

The optimist in me says 50% is still a half FULL glass.

But he is my Grandad and I am really worried for him.

I won't know anything more for a few hours at least.

He has a long operation ahead of him and will need to have recovery time in intensive care after that. How long that will be we don't know until we know how successful the operation is.

I was ok with it until I told Matthew and he burst out in tears. That set me off.

Hubby is at work but nearly finished. He offered to take me to the hospital but if he's in surgery I can't see him or do anything to help but I would like to see him as soon as we can.

I feel today is going to be a long day.

Saturday, 12 February 2011

Sloooooooooooooooow Down World!!!

Days and weeks are escaping in the blink of an eye these days I don't have time to do much of anything. It's crazy.

The 2lbs on last week became a 2.5 loss this week. So, that's 11.5lbs total.

I am finding I am eating more at the moment. I don't know why but it's  mostly good food and the lbs are coming down so maybe it's just a sign that maybe I was undereating a little and my body needs that little bit more.

Matthew is "invested" into being a full time Beaver Scout next Friday. He has a little initiation ceremony to go through and will get the last part of his official uniform. The ties and woggle. I will get a picture when he is all kitted out.

James is becoming a little more authoritive. When Liam knocked a toy off his game the other day, James turned to his younger brother and said "No, Naughty!!!" It was accidental and I felt sorry for them both. James because he was really concentrating on his game before it was disturbed and Liam because he had no idea what he had done wrong.

Using the buggy board has been a challenge. Asking what is better out of the double buggy and the buggy board is like asking who is the better out of Osama Bin Laden or Saddam Hussain!  Both contain a hidden array of evils. James still tires on the buggy board. The shortest route is a 40 minute round trip which is alot on any little legs for walking or standing. The first day of use we bought James home sitting more or less beneath Liam in the shopping basket of the buggy whilst Matthew carried the buggy board. The main quick route home doesn't have many lowered kerbs which plays havoc with a buggy board but we will percevere and win the battle in time.

To think that around 3 weeks ago, Liam was only just beginning to walk without holding on to things he now walks around about 90% of the time with full confidence.

They are just the cutest toddlers together. The giggles, kisses and cuddles that go between them is lovely. They really are just adorable and Matthew is a wonderful caring big brother who will do anything for them.

Time with Hubby is a bit of a rarity this week. He should have had a 4 day break from Thursday and be back at work Monday. However, a colleagues girlfriend has been admitted to hospital and colleague has had to take time off work to look after kids. Hubby was offered overtime for yesterday, today and tomorrow which he has taken up as the money is too good to turn down. Monday is a normal late shift (10am-8pm) which rules out any plans for Valentines Day and on Tuesday he is up early for a 3 day safety training course meaning he stays away Tuesday and Wednesday night and will probably be home late Thursday night.

Friday is Matthews last day of school. It's half term the week after and I am so ready for the week break myself. I am getting to the exhausted stage. I am not the best morning person in the world. I would much rather have a lazy start to the day than have the whole family out the house before 8.30am. It will be good not to be clock watching all day for a whole week. Hubby is also off most of the school holiday so we are looking forward to a little break then.

So er.... yes, busy busy busy all the time but  I wouldn't have it any other way. :o)

Wednesday, 9 February 2011

Recipe Corner

Ok Ladies, since we are on the subject of "Clean Living" here are two recipes I cannot function without at least once a week. My sort of food is simple, basic even but sometimes it's the best way. Both Recipes are super quick to cook - less than 30 minutes start to finish. I am a busy mum and food really doesn't have to be complicated to be good.

All of my recipes are an estimate and subject to my own personal taste. Feel free to adjust to YOUR tastes. After all, that's whats cooking is all about!

Both dishes are ideal for vegetarians too.

First off, My 5-step 5 ingredient pasta dish!

Spaghetti with Tomatoes And Basil


You need...

Pasta (I find Spaghetti works best and is always in my store cupboard)
250g Cherry Tomatoes
2-3 cloves of Garlic chopped small
1 Table spoon of Olive Oil
A decent handful of fresh Basil

And a little salt and pepper for seasoning

1. Boil off your own portion of pasta in a little salt. (I don't state how much since we all have varying portions depending on our personal diets. If you want a big portion, have it, just count the cals/points as required for your set healthy eating plan.) Strain, cover with lid and allow to keep warm for 5 minutes.

2. In the same pan (I love 1 pot dishes!) drizzle in a little olive oil and throw in whole cherry tomatoes on a hot heat. Occassionally shake pan and allow tomato skins to blister and burst.

3.  Once the tomatoes begin to split, reduce heat and throw in garlic. Shake again allowing flavours to infuse. Cook gently for around 1 minute to take the rawness off the garlic.

4. Put the pasta back in the pan. Stir through to reheat and combine flavours.  Once pasta is hot again,  add some freshly ground black pepper. Take off the heat.

5. Add the basil. It can be finely chopped or as I do, cut into little ribbons for a more robust flavour in a mouthful. Stir through and allow to wilt with the pan lid on for around 1 minute before serving.

You can always add cheese if you wish.I don't do this very often as cheese is one of my "problem" foods. It really is a big temptation for me so I make it a real treat when I do have it.

Spicy Mediterranean Veg Cous Cous with Rocket Garnish


You will Need.....

100-150g couscous 
1 red pepper
1 green pepper
2 red onions
A good sprinkle of chilli flakes.
Rocket leaves
Olive oil

1. Cut onions into wedges (I cut them into 8's) and peppers into 2 inch chunks. 
2. Mix them up in a big roasting tray and drizzle with olive oil. Scatter on chilli flakes to your taste.
3. Cook on Gas mark 6 (200oC-400F) for around 20 minutes depending on how well done you like your veg. (I prefer mine with a slight bite.)
4. Whilst veggies cook, make up couscous to manufacturers instructions.
5. Once veg is cooked mix through couscous.
6. Throw on a handful of rocket to finish

This is a basic recipe. Very rarely do I keep 2 couscous dishes the same. Sometimes I add different veg, sometimes I add peas to the cous cous cooking process. Sometimes I pile on a heaped spoonful of salsa. Sometimes I add a sliced chicken breast. Its what you do with it to make it good to you what matters most.

I tend to use the ready flavoured couscous packets - I don't know if you get them in the US but the Morroccan or Roasted Veg ones are my favourites.

Clever cous cous tip!
Using natural couscous? Want more unique flavouring? Make up a cup a soup as instructions require. Measure into a jug for the amount you need for the cous cous and cook/rest as couscous packet reqires and Voila! instantly flavoured couscous with very little effort. Left over cup a soup? Drink it. :)

Based on 300g of cooked pasta, both recipes are around 500 calories per portion (before additional extras like cheese on pasta etc). They are good sized portions but alot of that is the veg boosting it out so big portions can be very good at times.

Tuesday, 8 February 2011

Thank You Roxie Girl

Today I am really excited since I got something through the post that wasn't a bill or trying to sell me something!

I got a little prize for doing something as simple as submitting a couscous recipe! So thank you very much to Roxie Girl for letting me be a runner up.

I must admit I have never in my 12 years of blogging been sent anything just through a blog besides the odd pen letter or birthday card so I am incredibly pleased that someone in the US has done this for me.

I particularly love the look of it as the front cover gives a massive hint towards recipes featuring Chilli - My idea of food HEAVEN.

Inside are a number of lovely looking foods including a Morroccan Beef with Couscous that I particularly like the look of and Slow Cooked Curried Chickpeas - Oh My God, I am having food hallucinations of the greatest kind and as it's Clean Living, It's GOOD for me.

I've never had much of a sweet tooth but savouries and especially couscous and chillies are my world.

I am definitely going to try and do a recipe or two next week when my hubby is away on his course.

I really am quite chuffed.

Monday, 7 February 2011

I Knew It Was Coming But It Was A Good Thing - I Think.

I am a human dieter, I don't do good ALL the time.

2lb on this week.

Nothing more than I expected.

I felt pretty rough the second half of the week. Exhaustion took over so no exercise after Tuesday and a Thursday trip to a Pizza Hut buffet certainly didnt help less than 48 hours to weigh in. A lazyish weekend seems to have done the trick. We had a good day out wandering round a nearby town yesterday (though food wasnt high on the agenda and I didnt eat particularly well)

But today is Monday. It's a new day and most importantly a new week.

I am feeling brighter and rested. I am back to the cycling 40km today, and my food is back to normal too. The 40km is all done for today and feeling good for having done so. I do need it. I am hoping this week goes by well and that I get those excess lbs straight back off.

I don't see a weight gain as a BAD week.

In fact, I don't believe in BAD weeks, or days. Just days/weeks of weakness and who doesn't have them when they are restricting something in life in some way or another.

To me, it's a week that reminds me I have done well to this point and if I put in the effort this week, I'll be on the right track again.

This year I DO NOT believe in failure.

2011 is going to be great.

Tuesday, 1 February 2011

Toddler Tuesdays week 1

I often see the Wordless Wednesday posts and thought I would do my spin on a day of the week series.

Toddler Tuesdays are here. Well until my little fellas are out of the toddler years. Which in my figuring out will be once they are both in pre-school. Scarily though, that means this will only last until around Easter next year.

I saw the lady from the pre-school and I was wrong about James starting in September. He starts in Easter!!!! Oh my!! How did my little boy become a pre-schooler so quick. He's only 2 and a half!!! Pre-school here in the UK is more of a social and fun organisation. They do art, they sing, they dance, they meet other kids. They learn to develop skills before they reach Reception class age 4, ready for full time school age 5.

Liam will start the year after so they will have a year and a bit in pre-school together before James moves up. That's the nice thing about the close age. Although they will get to be separated for a short time, they will grow up very much together. Liam will miss James when he's not home. It will be very strange at first having just one child at home half the day.

Liam is becoming a little tyke!

On Friday he locked me out of the house.

YES, he did that! Little monster. We were going to collect Matthew from school and I normally put him in the buggy first. For some reason, I let James in first this time. Liam was in the living room and crawled to the front door. He often likes to look out and watch me do things but this occassion he smiled at me and pushed the door shut.

I thought I had my keys in my coat pocket. But I didn't.

Luckily, I leave the back door unlocked most of the time so I had to leave James in the buggy by himself in the front garden, run round our house and a neighbours house into the muddy lane at the back and use the back gate to get back in the house.

When I got back in the hallway Liam was on the third stair. My presence made him jump and he fell down bumping his cheek on the floor. I think he learnt a little lesson as to why he isn't allowed to climb the stairs.

James looked amazed when I opened the front door as if I'd done some sort of magic trick starting in one place and magically reappearing in another. He was impressed.

They really are a crazy little pair.