All The Small Things

When you become a parent, you realise ALL the small things in life are not so small.

That leaf falling off a tree is doing so to make way for the next season. That leaf becomes a thing of wonder to a small child. The shape, the colour, the texture, it is more than just a leaf to a little person.

That puddle was just made for jumping in.

The little things are what the little people love most.

Today I am a little bit... maybe not tearful....but definitely emotional. I am very much aware of those days beginning to fall away from us.

Liam is growing up far too fast. My "baby" is doing me so proud at the moment but I see his toddler days are fast disappearing.

Today, Liam bought this home from his playgroup:

The little darling is not 4 yet and beginning to write his name! If not, he made a great fakery of it. My baby is using a pen to write letters. I am so proud of him but at the same time, I'm giving up all the baby and toddler things.

Of course it's fantastic seeing them grow, seeing them learn, seeing them progress but it doesn't mean you don't miss the baby days.

It's 10 years to the week that I announced I was pregnant for the first time. My best friend married on May 24th (or 25th) and I was approximately 6-7 weeks pregnant at the time. I couldn't say nothing before because I wanted her day to be about her. I hid the nausea on the morning of her wedding. Whilst I was getting ready in my bridesmaid dress, having hair and make up done with her, the other bridesmaid and her mother they were all drinking champagne - I was sipping tea.  I have only ever drunk alot of tea when I have been pregnant. I had a small glass of wine with the meal to avert too much suspicion but I couldn't stomach it. Even after the wedding no-one noticed my lack of drink. We were all too busy having a good time and everyone else was quite jolly. Even when my ex and I were staying at the hotel she married at, we sneaked off early as I was worn out and feeling less than perfect. I blamed him saying he'd drunk too much. Ha! It wasn't all a lie, he had and I hadn't drunk anything.

It was when she was either the day after or the day she was due back from her honeymoon that I finally told her. I sent her a text along the lines of  "Congratulations, I hope she had had a good time and all that and here's to a great future. I've got a little bit of good news to share too, in January I'm going to be a mummy!!!"

That was 10 years ago. I remember it ALL so clearly. Those early days of pregnancy were filled with so much hope and love and even though my own relationship wasn't that amazing at the time, I had something, somebody to really focus on.

I'd never change my past for the world.

I may have gone through the mill a few times as well as under and over it but it's made me who I am and without a few wrong turns in the road, I wouldn't have reached todays path. Life's too short for regrets.

I can't believe it was 10 years ago that I first realised I was pregnant. That time has gone so fast and I am now stuck with this strapping young lad:

I am so proud of all my beautiful babies. xxxx

Where Is The Goddamn Summer?

First off, Congratulations to Nicky on the arrival of her youngest little gentleman who arrived 15 days after his due date on Friday morning. Welcome to the 3 boys club Nicola. :)

It's been as chaotic a week as ever. From School sports day to a sneaky weekend away with the hubby.

The school sports day was cold and damp. This is meant to be spring, or as I like to call it, pre-summer and even today I have had to put the heating on. I have a cold. I am not happy with the weather situation AT ALL. Anyway, back to the point, sports day. James and Matthew were both taking part and siblings are always put into the same colour team as they do team sports in the morning. Hubby and I went along and watched our boys do the team sports  The were running along balance beams, throwing mini bean bags into hoops, dressing up in hat scarf and a bag, balancing bean bags and doing a jump in a hula hoop. The boys team came fourth out of four which did not please my big competitive Matthew. However.... He did win his running race in the afternoon! Well done big man!! Unfortunately, due to having to pick Liam up from playgroup we missed his special moment but I did get this gorgeous photo of my handsome man before we left:

And here is his Sports Day award that he is so proud of! 

Friday I took myself off into town for a long awaited haircut. I drove myself in on one of the busiest days of the week at a busy time and was really pleased with myself for going for a more challenging drive. I even remembered the ticket for parking. Our nearest town is great in the way that it does free parking everywhere all the time for up to 3 hours. You just need to remember the ticket to show your due departure time in the car window or face a £70 penalty fine for failing to do so. So I missed that. Phew.

Whilst I was out, hubby booked a surprise little break for us for the Saturday night. We would spend some of the day in Southwold and spend the evening and night in the town of Beccles. These are rather strange places indeed. Southwold is stuck in a time warp. A quaint little seaside village with a small town, a pier and a lighthouse and it's claim to fame is that it's where the Adnams brewery is based. Alot of the local beers and ciders come from there. The majority in our region though come from our neighbouring town Bury St Edmunds Greene King brewery. Suffolk is famous for it's alcohol. The town of Beccles is unlike any other I've ever visited. We thought we would go for chinese that night but despite there being 3 takeaways for chinese only 1 has a restaurant and that is closed on Friday and Saturday nights. Now, I can understand the takeaway being busier on these nights but surely they would be the best nights for the restaurant? Crazy people. There are no clothes shops. Not ones I know of at least. There are 3 betting shops, 6 charity shops, a Tesco, a Co-Op and 2 pubs. One was the place we stayed at, the other one we took a risk and had a drink in there but swiftly moved back to our hotel/pub.

We wouldn't say we had a horrible time, we found it all rather funny to be honest. We enjoyed the time to ourselves but won't be rushing back to either of those places any time too soon.

Weight Watchers is still going strong. I am now 17lbs lighter than when I started so it feels good.

That Didn't Last Long

Ha, I'm back.

I just couldn't resist it.

Adding to the list of things I have started but have no idea of when I will ever finish them I can now add "closing down my blog" amongst them.

First of all, thanks to all those who took the time for the little messages on here and facebook (Apologies to Alissa for accidentally deleting your comment as I tried to allow it on my iphone but slightly went the wrong box - SORRY!!!!!)

So, why am I back and why did I feel enough was enough?

Well,  I am going to focus on a specific little comment from Strawberri that REALLY made my morning and made me think about my blog in general.

I started my original blog in 1998/1999 at Diaryland. Some of you also came over from there and I adore the little friendships I have made through a persons words and life.

I've covered the lot. Teenage stuff, the single life, dating, boyfriends, work, a number of different jobs, friends, clubbing, pregnancy, marriage, divorce, babies,  death, moving house, remarriage, children growing up, weight loss, health scares. Been there and done it ALL.

I've got personal, I've got tearful, I've been overflowing with happiness, there's been laughter, tears, love, hate, desperation, solitude, anger, hurt, humility and contentment. I've had long spells of hard times and I've been having many happier times in recent years.

But I've always been ME....

I may not get 10+ comments on every post I write. I may not do giveaways. I may not be great at posting recipes, at making crafty type things I may not advertise or try to sell things or have a really inspiring story to tell week upon week.

I no longer have babies, I have BOYS.

They really are growing up so blooming fast let me tell ya! I was given confirmation today that Liam is in nursery in September so I am going to have 3 boys in the same school building. 4 months today and my BABY Liam will be FOUR years old.

So you know, I've always been just me and sometimes that doesn't feel enough.

The internet and the world of blogging has changed SO MUCH in recent years and I can't say if it's in a good way or not. It sometimes feels like the whole idea of blogging has changed.  It just makes me feel that little bit more unimportant that I haven't got a gimmick to sell my blog like many of them do. I don't do themes or prizes and I feel boring. I guess that's just me getting older! ;)

So, if you are still reading this then thank you. I am going to keep on blogging for a while and see how it goes.

Au Revoir

I am really losing track of time, I am really not feeling this blog anymore either. Facebook has become my main form of communication to the entire world these days.

There's nothing too new I can add here.

The kids are growing up.

Me and hubby are happy.

Life revolves around school days and days out.

I feel happy.

There is not anything really bothering me in the way that I need to vent. *Some things will ALWAYS bother me but not too badly. hehe*

I just don't feel I can take this blog any further.

Life is just good. I'm settled, I'm happy. Nothing really big or exciting is going on right now but that's ok because it's how I have begun to enjoy life. Whilst it's good to have an exciting life, it's also good to know things are just going as I want them to.

All that into consideration, I feel now is a good time to bring this blog to a close. Thank you for the friendship and support over the years and there are some of you I know I will keep in touch with via other sites and I will continue to read blogs, but this just isn't for me anymore.

All the best to the wonderful people in blogland.

Becca xxx

Monday, Monday

So, again it's Monday.

New things this week.

Liam woke up with his first ever dry overnight nappy. It's nearly time to try an all night without a nappy. Scary.

Unfortunately, whilst he is improving on this, he still tends to poo on the floor or sofa creating much frustration for me.

James and Liam went along to a friends birthday party yesterday. They loved it. It was in an indoor soft play area and they were served Domino's pizza for dinner. Lucky chappies!

Matthew has come home from school today with a lovely graze on his hip and an "injury notice". The schools have everything at the sake of Health And Safety.

James has his first ever school trip next week. They are off to a farm and need to take packed lunch.  So cute.

Next week I have a meeting at Liams playgroup about his transition up to James's nursery and what to expect when he goes. It's a chance for me to ask all those questions I may have about the next stage of his education starting in September. Lovely (Do you sense the sarcasm in my tone?) Since I help out there every Thursday and know the system as well as I know my kids bedtime routines, it somewhat feels like a waste of a morning but I think I get a cup of coffee for giving up my time.

I will be taking 3 months off voluntary nursery help when Liam begins in September. This is to allow him to settle in and get used to it before I go in and confuse him once a week. I don't think he'd do it but I wouldn't want to upset him.

This week on Weight Watchers I lost 4.5lbs. That's a grand total of 11.5lbs so far. Yay. Trying to get the 14lb mark next week so knuckling down and being super careful with food this week.

This weekend we went off to our favourite holiday destination for the day. We bought a day pass so we could use all the facilities for less than £50 for the whole family. We watched a kids show, the kids went in the soft play area, we used the fairground, the mini kids rides and went swimming all for less than the price of 1 adult to a top tourist attraction.

So I think that is it for now. Oh, apart from the fact I am now beginning to really enjoy fruit and driving. But that's just me being weird.

Bullet Post

• It was terrible to hear of last weeks bombings in Boston. It is a scary old world sometimes.
• I am glad they found the people responsible. I hope the one who has so far survived gets to be questioned for those families affected to get answers before they give him the death sentence. In a place like the US where the death penalty is the punishment given, then it should be dished out providing there is no doubt of their guilt. I do hope this was a case of the right people being found and not just a case of the police wanting to put peoples minds at ease. However, if they really were shooting at the cops and throwing improvised explosives at them upon trying to get away then they look very much the guilty party. 
• I'm sure we're only hearing the tiniest parts of it in the UK compared to the media coverage in the US.
• On this occasion I get the feeling these two were cranks that took an interest in Al-Qaeda rather than carried out the attack on behalf of them. Other terrorist situations have had the offending party admit to the attack within hours.
• My first panic was East Coast America - Korea. Followed by a nasty 4 letter word beginning with F, then when they said it was IED's rather than missiles I began to relax. Someone please tell me, I was not the only person that had this go through their mind at first. 
• Speaking of which, since the Boston bombs and Thatchers funeral last week, here in the UK, North Korea has not been mentioned at all. I am guessing that scaremongering of the media has passed without incident for now. Last we heard in the UK, North Korea were preparing for the idea of talks relating to negotiations. Since then (last Monday morning) not a word has been said anywhere.
• We have got rid of the upstairs stairgate. My house is no longer baby/toddler proof as they have all grown up. My biggest worry this morning is that they would get up early, trash the house or escape from it (not worrying about falling down the stairs like most normal people would worry about) but they were good. I told James and Liam that they should come and see mummy before coming downstairs this morning only to have them sleep in for an hour and a half longer than me. Lucky boys.
• Matthew is getting into books a lot more. He loves the author Michael Morpurgo and has 3 of his books now. 
• Finally, I end on a high..........
• First week of Weight Watchers online went VERY well. I loved the plan, I loved the changes in my diet and best of all I loved:
• A 7LB LOSS

It's Official

Yesterday we received the paperwork confirming that James has got a place in the village school.

It was never a big fear he wouldn't but it's just good to have the official final word.

As of September, my middle baby is going to be in school all day and wearing his first ever school uniform. Little things like this make me emotional. I can't believe that this little boy has grown so fast.

It was 5 years ago this week that my nan passed away (It was April 16th) and she was aware that she was going to have a second great grandchild. It's just sad she never met him or his little brother.

So now, I am rather excited to be thinking about the dinky cute first uniform. Matthew and James have red as the school uniform colour and James loves and suits red. He will get his first official school bag and a little sun hat. It's just gonna be so lovely.

The kids all went back to school this week and are settling back in nicely. They love going in in the mornings and getting back in the swing of things after a couple of weeks off has gone very well. I was happy to be back in nursery helping out this morning and it flew by. I was entrusted with the laminating machine and re-did a lot of name badges and bits for the kids. I then watched over the kids during snack time. It's amazing how good 3 and 4 year olds are at pouring water or milk from a jug to a beaker. They are incredibly tidy eaters and drinkers believe it or not and they love their fruit!!!

My first few days of Weight Watchers are going incredibly well. As well as eating more fruit and veg I am back to eating breakfast and I am cutting down heavily on potatoes, rice and pasta. I only have bread at lunchtime so I am reducing my carbs alot as I don't believe they do me any good. They make me feel bloated and uncomfortable so since I am changing the way I eat, this is a good thing for me.

My Theme Tune For The Year

I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

 I could not have said it better than the man Michael Jackson  himself.

Yesterday came a little turning point in my life.

I rejoined Weight Watchers after years of being off of it.

The turning point was when I got some clothes delivered from a lovely store whose clothing quality I really admire. I ordered my normal size jeans. I got some that size and they were tight on the thighs and about 4 inches from doing up. I guess that's the difference between quality jeans and stretchy jeans.

So, for a while I felt bad about my weight.

In fact for MONTHS I've felt bad about my weight. So, in a moment of madness I signed up to WW online and paid out the fee for 3 months worth of the site and it's support.

I've been wanting to get back into WW for some time but the meetings aren't in a convenient place or time to suit near to where I live so with help of the good old pc, I am now a fully fledged member and today is my first real day of changing my life.

As Michael J, also sang:

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change