There is another post before this that went up on Tuesday so skip back one if you haven't been up to date with the lesser than rosy side of parenting.
For those of you who have been reading my blog for a while, you will know by now that I don't like to dwell on the negative. I love my little horrors to bits and realise that whilst these moments of CRS as I like to call them (Child/ren Related Stress) are hard at the time, they are MAJORLY outweighed by the joy these little darlings bring.
There will always be times you have self doubt as a parent, the secret is not to show it too much in front of others, especially the kids. The morning I wrote the last post I was feeling particularly tearful and a bit weighed down by it all so I thought now is the perfect time to raise my good parenting skills.
On Monday, Liams playgroup had a visitor from the local Childrens Center. They were doing a singing and dancing activity morning and will be doing so for the next 3 weeks. All parents were invited and if not parents then grandparents or child minders could attend. Of 18 children in the playgroup, how many parents do you think attended? One. That was me! I was the only parent who could spare an hour to do something to join in with my little person. In all fairness, some people work, some have younger siblings to take care of (siblings were invited too) and I DID have to dash off halfway through to collect James from nursery but he took part in the second half an hour and loved it. I feel bad for the playgroup. They are a lovely little bunch of people working there but there just isn't the support it needs. Liam is going up to nursery in September for the simple fact is he HAS outgrown it. When they were doing the learning journey parents evening a few weeks back I was the only parent who came in for that too. The way I look at it, is that this may be Early Learning but it's such an important stage for kids. The skills they learn now will be needed for life and I want to be part of that. I can go through the next stage of parenting know I spent the same time and attention on all 3 of my boys when they were in the initial stages of independence.
We're ahead in the system with James and Liam's speech problems. We have an official appointment with Liam at the Speech Therapy Clinic on July 6th and on July 11th we have a Health Visitor coming to the house to talk about their speech and see if they can offer anything new to try. They have both improved so much in recent months but they are both shy at speaking in front of others from time to time. This is James biggest problem. Speaking of which...........
Yesterday I actually got James to take part in a conversation between me and his teacher! He has NEVER spoken in class to any of the staff and is very quiet among the children. I'm pleased he took part and was able to show her that I'm not just saying that he can talk fine at home. We think it's a confidence thing and we are trying to get to the bottom of whether he is a little nervous, worried or even scared of anyone or anything in his nursery. That's the next step. I have also promised him a reward if he can speak to his teachers for just a couple of minutes every day. He again spoke to the same teacher then engaged in a conversation with his other main teacher today too. I feel we are getting there FINALLY.
Also yesterday, Matthew conquered his fear and hatred of the violin lessons and his whole class did a public performance along with some other schools. I am SO proud of him to give it a go. Unfortunately due to the two younger boys I couldn't attend as it was limited to 1 seat per family due to a small venue and a total of 180 kids taking part so a neighbour took him and her daughter there and bought them back whilst I walked her other daughter to school in Matthews place. I have taught Matthew that sometimes in life, we have to do the things we don't want to. We have to take chances, we have to do things that scare or worry us but we cannot overcome problems without tackling them head on. We can't always avoid things we find unpleasant and have to battle on. In the end I think he quite liked being out of school even if the class performance did only last 15 minutes.
Completing the set, Liam made me proud as well yesterday. He still has a nappy every night at bedtime and that is the only one he has. Sometimes in the afternoons he has a little wee accident when he falls asleep on the sofa. The nap results in a little wet patch. We have been combatting this by laying him on a towel or throw so it can easily go in the washing machine should a spillage occur. However, yesterday Liam woke from his slumber, went to his potty, did a quick wee and swiftly went back to his sofa to continue his sleep. Liam is finally showing signs that he may soon be ready to stop the bedtime nappy. He has never woken up ready for a wee before so this once again is progress.
Liam has been making me laugh this week too. He has been accentuating his feelings. In the middle of a dramatic cry he's been wailing "I'm Crying. Liam is crying!" which is funny in itself. Then on Sunday, the ice cream van came up. Daddy went out to get everyone an ice cream and Liam was so excited. Hopping, bouncing and galloping in excitement around the living room Liam is rejoicing "I'm Dancing. I'm Dancing for Ice Cream Mummy. I so excited I'm dancing." Bless him. He really is funny.
I had a couple of down days but feel like I am back to winning the battles again.
Finally, tomorrow I am going to do something I said I would never do. I am going to be one of "THOSE" parents. That's right, I've signed up for the PTA (Parents and Teachers Association) so I can go along to meetings and discuss ideas for school funding, the swimming pool, school disco's and the such. WHEN did I become like that? It must be something about the whole village life idea. I also have 8 more years of the boys attending that school in one capacity or another so I am in for the long haul. I do have a little idea myself. Matthew is really into his drama and arts so I am going to ask if they could possibly start up a drama group or after school choir to do a summer performance. The Christmas performance always does well so why not do another one at the end of the school year if there were the kids that want to do it? We could do it to raise money for the school. Say £1 per ticket to watch, a raffle and refreshments available to buy so that the school can get a little something out of it.
Well, that's my idea anyway.
Wednesday, 19 June 2013
Tuesday, 18 June 2013
The Summons In Short
Whilst it is incredibly clear that having kids can be the absolute best thing to happen in life, we tend to glaze over the bad days and ignore the fact that often, having kids and being a parent is the most stressful job in the world. Most of the time you get no praise, no thank you's and no pay for your time and effort.
Once school age, you hear more about your childrens problems and failings over what they are actually good at and can do and at times, it can really leave you questioning your parenting style and feeling like something of a failure.
The meeting with Matthews teacher and headteacher last week didn't go quite as planned. I was under the impression that we were going in to talk about Matthews temper and general behaviour. I didn't expect halfway through the meeting to be told that Matthew is very down on himself in school, has low self esteem in class and has told friends he'd be better off dead and he wants to die. This was all complete news to me and sounds the polar opposite of the bouncy cheerful football mad boy we see at home. Matthew is the last kid I would say has confidence issues but upon talking about the matter, he feels that he isn't good at his school work, he finds it a struggle and seems to work better with one on one teaching as he focusses better. This year they have been learning to play the violin. Matthew HATES it and he says he feels useless with it and that the teacher always seems to tell him off and no-one else. She is a music teacher bought in from outside but with his own teachers present, they say the problem is the focus. Matthew doesn't like it so he doesn't try quite so hard. He is not being picked out singularly but Matthew seems to think the world is against him. He is not enjoying football like he used to because of the same issues. If he makes a mistake he says the other kids are hard on him and upset him, again making him feel worthless and fed up that he can't enjoy his favourite thing when in school.
All the issues both Matthew and his teachers mentioned were WITHIN school. They don't see him out of school and I explained that Matthew was alot calmer since he changed his diet and that maybe because he was having less sugar, he didn't feel so confident and happy as he is no longer this hyperactive boy that he once was.
Regarding the "wanting to die" remarks, we've put that down to attention. It sounds wrong but Matthew knows how to get a reaction when he tries to shock people. If he's feeling a bit down at school he normally comes home as the perfectly normal Matthew that I know and love. It came as a big shock to hear he was so unhappy in school.
Matthew is still as dis-organised as ever and is feeling a bit left behind the other kids as he feels he can't keep up and he doesn't have many friends in his class.
I am so much wanting to help him but as the issues are in school and I feel should be tackled a little better and harder by his teachers, I feel so helpless in how I can help him defeat this problem. He IS happy at home and we've even given him a little makeover this weekend complete with new hair, uniform and some body spray so at least we KNOW he is going into school happy and confident to start the day.
Depression runs in my family and his dad was known for swinging from one mood to another so it could be hereditary. It wasn't that long back my cousin tried to commit suicide. I've never talked about it in front of Matthew however, my nan doesn't seem to think about what she says in front of the kids and she hasn't been happy for a while. She still goes on about how it would have been better if she went instead of my grandad and how she feels it would be better if she just went to bed one night and didn't wake up. She has been very low of late and does say she wants to die. THIS is where I feel Matthews problems are stemming from. I don't want to stop visiting my nan and I don't know how to approach this subject with her when she is already feeling down and I don't want to look like I am directly accusing her of inappropriate dialect in the presence of Matthew as I don't want to make her take on a feeling of guilt on top of everything else. Yet I can't let Matthew be subjected to this if it's what is causing the problems. We've decided to stop his sleepovers there now as a precaution. She loves having him, he loves staying but we don't know what is said when we aren't there. We already know he stays up late there and she lets him watch tv that we class as inappropriate for his age and mental maturity so we haven't told her or Matthew that sleepovers are no longer allowed, we will just find excuses why he can't for a while.
In other news, James and Liam are both still behind on their speech. James more so than Liam. James doesn't like talking, he doesn't like loud noises. James also tends to whine and whisper so we are being referred to the schools health visitor to try and help. Again, his confidence is low when it comes to speaking and he doesn't like being put on the spot and being under pressure when asked questions he needs to respond to verbally.
Liam is getting better by the week, his words are loud and clear but he still doesn't talk in clear sentences. He prefers to skip words and say his own thing which is my Liam 100%. We're due another meeting with the speech therapist as I have the letter to make an appointment.
I feel like I am under permanent surveillance with the kids at the moment and that no matter what I do people are looking upon me as a bad mother for not getting these issues fixed.
I know that probably most parents have at least one issue with every child they have but it just all seems to be all 3 happening at once and I feel like I am a bit of a failure for not being able to get them to progress like the school wants them to. They all have individual time with me, they all get family group time and beyond that I don't know what else I can physically do and fear that the school don't realise just how hard we do try as a family.
I know kids will all progress and do things at different times but I do feel like I am under a lot of scrutiny at the moment as to how I perform as a mum. Of course, I don't let the kids (or the husband) see my insecurities and that's why I am writing this post now.
Hopefully, it's just a bad month and if not better by next month, then we can all start fresh and breezy for the new school year in September.
Once school age, you hear more about your childrens problems and failings over what they are actually good at and can do and at times, it can really leave you questioning your parenting style and feeling like something of a failure.
The meeting with Matthews teacher and headteacher last week didn't go quite as planned. I was under the impression that we were going in to talk about Matthews temper and general behaviour. I didn't expect halfway through the meeting to be told that Matthew is very down on himself in school, has low self esteem in class and has told friends he'd be better off dead and he wants to die. This was all complete news to me and sounds the polar opposite of the bouncy cheerful football mad boy we see at home. Matthew is the last kid I would say has confidence issues but upon talking about the matter, he feels that he isn't good at his school work, he finds it a struggle and seems to work better with one on one teaching as he focusses better. This year they have been learning to play the violin. Matthew HATES it and he says he feels useless with it and that the teacher always seems to tell him off and no-one else. She is a music teacher bought in from outside but with his own teachers present, they say the problem is the focus. Matthew doesn't like it so he doesn't try quite so hard. He is not being picked out singularly but Matthew seems to think the world is against him. He is not enjoying football like he used to because of the same issues. If he makes a mistake he says the other kids are hard on him and upset him, again making him feel worthless and fed up that he can't enjoy his favourite thing when in school.
All the issues both Matthew and his teachers mentioned were WITHIN school. They don't see him out of school and I explained that Matthew was alot calmer since he changed his diet and that maybe because he was having less sugar, he didn't feel so confident and happy as he is no longer this hyperactive boy that he once was.
Regarding the "wanting to die" remarks, we've put that down to attention. It sounds wrong but Matthew knows how to get a reaction when he tries to shock people. If he's feeling a bit down at school he normally comes home as the perfectly normal Matthew that I know and love. It came as a big shock to hear he was so unhappy in school.
Matthew is still as dis-organised as ever and is feeling a bit left behind the other kids as he feels he can't keep up and he doesn't have many friends in his class.
I am so much wanting to help him but as the issues are in school and I feel should be tackled a little better and harder by his teachers, I feel so helpless in how I can help him defeat this problem. He IS happy at home and we've even given him a little makeover this weekend complete with new hair, uniform and some body spray so at least we KNOW he is going into school happy and confident to start the day.
Depression runs in my family and his dad was known for swinging from one mood to another so it could be hereditary. It wasn't that long back my cousin tried to commit suicide. I've never talked about it in front of Matthew however, my nan doesn't seem to think about what she says in front of the kids and she hasn't been happy for a while. She still goes on about how it would have been better if she went instead of my grandad and how she feels it would be better if she just went to bed one night and didn't wake up. She has been very low of late and does say she wants to die. THIS is where I feel Matthews problems are stemming from. I don't want to stop visiting my nan and I don't know how to approach this subject with her when she is already feeling down and I don't want to look like I am directly accusing her of inappropriate dialect in the presence of Matthew as I don't want to make her take on a feeling of guilt on top of everything else. Yet I can't let Matthew be subjected to this if it's what is causing the problems. We've decided to stop his sleepovers there now as a precaution. She loves having him, he loves staying but we don't know what is said when we aren't there. We already know he stays up late there and she lets him watch tv that we class as inappropriate for his age and mental maturity so we haven't told her or Matthew that sleepovers are no longer allowed, we will just find excuses why he can't for a while.
In other news, James and Liam are both still behind on their speech. James more so than Liam. James doesn't like talking, he doesn't like loud noises. James also tends to whine and whisper so we are being referred to the schools health visitor to try and help. Again, his confidence is low when it comes to speaking and he doesn't like being put on the spot and being under pressure when asked questions he needs to respond to verbally.
Liam is getting better by the week, his words are loud and clear but he still doesn't talk in clear sentences. He prefers to skip words and say his own thing which is my Liam 100%. We're due another meeting with the speech therapist as I have the letter to make an appointment.
I feel like I am under permanent surveillance with the kids at the moment and that no matter what I do people are looking upon me as a bad mother for not getting these issues fixed.
I know that probably most parents have at least one issue with every child they have but it just all seems to be all 3 happening at once and I feel like I am a bit of a failure for not being able to get them to progress like the school wants them to. They all have individual time with me, they all get family group time and beyond that I don't know what else I can physically do and fear that the school don't realise just how hard we do try as a family.
I know kids will all progress and do things at different times but I do feel like I am under a lot of scrutiny at the moment as to how I perform as a mum. Of course, I don't let the kids (or the husband) see my insecurities and that's why I am writing this post now.
Hopefully, it's just a bad month and if not better by next month, then we can all start fresh and breezy for the new school year in September.
Sunday, 9 June 2013
Uh-Oh, My First Head Teacher Summons
I thought I would regain a little femininity in my life for sporting a pink blog for a change.
The kids are doing well at school although hubby and I do have to see Matthews head teacher on Friday due to an "incident" at the school on Friday at lunchtime. Matthew basically lost his temper during football (he is very passionate with his sport) and had a little meltdown. He was being pushed about by some bigger kids as he made a mistake and in short, he lost control, stormed off, tried to kick out at the ground but accidentally hurt one of his best friends as he lashed out. It then took a while to be calmed down. When he had calmed down, he said he was under too much stress at home and how hubby makes too many demands on him and that his room has to be spotless and that we are too hard on him.
I know we are hard on the kids at times but Matthew has been particularly over dramatic with it. Matthew does lose his temper occasionally and when he does it isn't pretty. He's damaged his bedroom wall, he's broke some floorboards in his room and he has smashed and damaged all sorts when he has not got his own way about something. I've learnt to deal with Matthews outbursts and until now, I thought it was just something he did at home.
This was until his headteacher said "Matthew's had another one of his outbursts" This is obviously not the first time it has happened and I am a little annoyed that it's not been bought up with us before.I am in the school TWICE a day, sometimes three times a day. I am in there for 3 hours on a Thursday and there are oppertunities for his teachers to ask for a quick quiet word. Yet, this is the first I have heard of it.
Matthews behaviour is nowhere near as bad as it used to be but the violent outbursts are a worry. We don't want him to be in endless trouble at school. Going back to being tough with Matthew, it's the approach we find works best with him. Matthew needs structure, he needs targets. He has quite a competitive personality that means he is more than happy to take on a challenge. However, Matthew is also a bit of a bad loser and when the challenge fails he becomes a bad sport and his frustrations boil over in different ways creating issues such as this.
I love this little boy to bits, I want to help him. I don't want him to be labelled the "bad" or "violent" kid and I know he has half his fathers DNA - that's the bit the scares me. We've learnt how to help and keep things under control at home and I feel bad that Matthew is under such close surveilence sometimes but it's my way of protecting him.
As for hubby demanding too much of him, well, I feel that someone was after a little sympathy to dig himself out of a hole. Regarding the bedroom tidyness, we have offered pocket money for keeping his room tidy - He doesn't always keep it clean but often still gets the rewards in one way or another, even if he doesn't see it that way. Both my own and hubby's definition of clean room is to not hide everything under the bed and for the floor to be clear enough for me to hoover his room every week. We don't ask for that much but Matthew seems to think that's unfair.
We have had some unfortunate situations where Matthew has had too much mess around and has accidentally broken his 3DS by standing on it and leaving the stylus imprinted into the 3D screen. He has limited room so we have 3 boxes for him to keep his bits in. One for Lego and two for odds and ends. He has two bookshelves. One is mostly for books and projects he wants to do. The other homes a tv, dvd player and Wii on the top and he keeps his prized possessions over there too.
Today hubby and Matthew have gone off to Ikea to buy him a new high sleeper bed. Just like so:
The kids are doing well at school although hubby and I do have to see Matthews head teacher on Friday due to an "incident" at the school on Friday at lunchtime. Matthew basically lost his temper during football (he is very passionate with his sport) and had a little meltdown. He was being pushed about by some bigger kids as he made a mistake and in short, he lost control, stormed off, tried to kick out at the ground but accidentally hurt one of his best friends as he lashed out. It then took a while to be calmed down. When he had calmed down, he said he was under too much stress at home and how hubby makes too many demands on him and that his room has to be spotless and that we are too hard on him.
I know we are hard on the kids at times but Matthew has been particularly over dramatic with it. Matthew does lose his temper occasionally and when he does it isn't pretty. He's damaged his bedroom wall, he's broke some floorboards in his room and he has smashed and damaged all sorts when he has not got his own way about something. I've learnt to deal with Matthews outbursts and until now, I thought it was just something he did at home.
This was until his headteacher said "Matthew's had another one of his outbursts" This is obviously not the first time it has happened and I am a little annoyed that it's not been bought up with us before.I am in the school TWICE a day, sometimes three times a day. I am in there for 3 hours on a Thursday and there are oppertunities for his teachers to ask for a quick quiet word. Yet, this is the first I have heard of it.
Matthews behaviour is nowhere near as bad as it used to be but the violent outbursts are a worry. We don't want him to be in endless trouble at school. Going back to being tough with Matthew, it's the approach we find works best with him. Matthew needs structure, he needs targets. He has quite a competitive personality that means he is more than happy to take on a challenge. However, Matthew is also a bit of a bad loser and when the challenge fails he becomes a bad sport and his frustrations boil over in different ways creating issues such as this.
I love this little boy to bits, I want to help him. I don't want him to be labelled the "bad" or "violent" kid and I know he has half his fathers DNA - that's the bit the scares me. We've learnt how to help and keep things under control at home and I feel bad that Matthew is under such close surveilence sometimes but it's my way of protecting him.
As for hubby demanding too much of him, well, I feel that someone was after a little sympathy to dig himself out of a hole. Regarding the bedroom tidyness, we have offered pocket money for keeping his room tidy - He doesn't always keep it clean but often still gets the rewards in one way or another, even if he doesn't see it that way. Both my own and hubby's definition of clean room is to not hide everything under the bed and for the floor to be clear enough for me to hoover his room every week. We don't ask for that much but Matthew seems to think that's unfair.
We have had some unfortunate situations where Matthew has had too much mess around and has accidentally broken his 3DS by standing on it and leaving the stylus imprinted into the 3D screen. He has limited room so we have 3 boxes for him to keep his bits in. One for Lego and two for odds and ends. He has two bookshelves. One is mostly for books and projects he wants to do. The other homes a tv, dvd player and Wii on the top and he keeps his prized possessions over there too.
Today hubby and Matthew have gone off to Ikea to buy him a new high sleeper bed. Just like so:
He will have far more space to work with and over time the back and side supports can be fitted with a desk style shelf and a smaller shelving unit above to cover his school work and I am sure in time, there will probably be a computer of sorts to do the schoolwork with. Just like so:
There is also option 3 where a sofabed could be placed underneath for sleepovers but Matthew doesn't really have friends round that often and those who do live a stones throw away and it would be a bit of a waste as he won't see his tv that well from there.
So that's my little boy growing up more than ever.
I hope the head teacher meeting goes well and that this is just a little blip as on the whole he is being a really good, sensible lad lately but they all have the odd time where things aren't so great. This ironically was the same day he was awarded with a certificate for achieving 50 Merits for good work and behaviour in school and for being star of the week in his class so I know he does do well in general but this was just awful timing on an otherwise highly praisable week for him.
Wednesday, 29 May 2013
A Different Type of Milestone
I often praise my kids and record milestones with them, however, this post is about the other end of the scale.
Yesterday we had a big family meal as a surprise for my nan as she celebrated her 80th birthday.
She does well really, she's doing good with mobility, she's had alot of illness and recovery in her life and she is on a number of pills for life but the main thing is she is here.
She survived breast cancer about 25 years ago. She then developed ovarian cancer 10 years later. She's had her gall bladder removed. She has chronic IBS but she gets on with life as best as she can.
The last two years have been much harder on her since we lost my grandad but she is a fighter who just refuses to give up.
I have always been close to my nan and over the years many things have changed but that hasn't. I do admit and I am ashamed to admit it that sometimes though, the woman drives me mad. I guess that's love for ya. As she is getting older she does find things harder but refuses to listen to anyone else. Or if she does, she gets the opinions of 6 people and finds it ever more confusing when people have different ideas. She doesn't seem to listen much either.
I guess the same could be said of all elderly people to an extent but we are all so proud of her and how she is getting on by herself.
Yesterdays meal out was not a complete surprise, she knew she was going out for dinner with my mum, dad and brother. We took her a present and card round yesterday afternoon but made the excuse we had to leave as we were seeing friends later that night. I bought her a metal jug filled with fake lilacs. She has a big lilac bush in her garden that I have always loved since I was a child so it seemed fitting for a big birthday. My Uncle, Aunt and two cousins also came. One bought his girlfriend so when she arrived at the pub with my mum, dad and brother she was surprised to find a table with the rest of us there. There were 14 of us in total and we had a lovely evening.
I even made the birthday cake.
I actually wish I had taken photo's of the cake at home as this doesn't do it justice at all. It came out amazingly well. Inside is a Victoria Sponge with a strawberry jam filling. To make it a little more special I added a tin of strawberries to the jam. That added a little more "wetness" to keep the cake moist and alot more flavour and texture to the filling. The topping is a basic buttercream with a little strawberry syrup from the tin and coated with freeze dried strawberry pieces.
It tasted perfect. My nan loves her strawberries and her cakes so I think I got it right on this occasion.
The meal was lovely and the kids enjoyed themselves. Matthew went back to my nans for a sleepover and we got the little fellas back shortly after 10pm. They fell asleep in the car on the way back as they were so tired but they did great staying up and eating so late.
We've had a great start to the holidays with days out to local places and even a trip to the seaside so far but we're now waiting for the weather to pick up again before we do anything too exciting.
Today we are having our bedroom wall insulated so maybe by the weekend we will have a nice newly decorated bedroom. It was nice before but I want a complete change so we may go from this:
To probably something much more relaxing and serene like a duck egg blue but I feel there is enough blue in the house. I want something relaxing and not too boring.
Yesterday we had a big family meal as a surprise for my nan as she celebrated her 80th birthday.
She does well really, she's doing good with mobility, she's had alot of illness and recovery in her life and she is on a number of pills for life but the main thing is she is here.
She survived breast cancer about 25 years ago. She then developed ovarian cancer 10 years later. She's had her gall bladder removed. She has chronic IBS but she gets on with life as best as she can.
The last two years have been much harder on her since we lost my grandad but she is a fighter who just refuses to give up.
I have always been close to my nan and over the years many things have changed but that hasn't. I do admit and I am ashamed to admit it that sometimes though, the woman drives me mad. I guess that's love for ya. As she is getting older she does find things harder but refuses to listen to anyone else. Or if she does, she gets the opinions of 6 people and finds it ever more confusing when people have different ideas. She doesn't seem to listen much either.
I guess the same could be said of all elderly people to an extent but we are all so proud of her and how she is getting on by herself.
Yesterdays meal out was not a complete surprise, she knew she was going out for dinner with my mum, dad and brother. We took her a present and card round yesterday afternoon but made the excuse we had to leave as we were seeing friends later that night. I bought her a metal jug filled with fake lilacs. She has a big lilac bush in her garden that I have always loved since I was a child so it seemed fitting for a big birthday. My Uncle, Aunt and two cousins also came. One bought his girlfriend so when she arrived at the pub with my mum, dad and brother she was surprised to find a table with the rest of us there. There were 14 of us in total and we had a lovely evening.
I even made the birthday cake.
I actually wish I had taken photo's of the cake at home as this doesn't do it justice at all. It came out amazingly well. Inside is a Victoria Sponge with a strawberry jam filling. To make it a little more special I added a tin of strawberries to the jam. That added a little more "wetness" to keep the cake moist and alot more flavour and texture to the filling. The topping is a basic buttercream with a little strawberry syrup from the tin and coated with freeze dried strawberry pieces.
It tasted perfect. My nan loves her strawberries and her cakes so I think I got it right on this occasion.
The meal was lovely and the kids enjoyed themselves. Matthew went back to my nans for a sleepover and we got the little fellas back shortly after 10pm. They fell asleep in the car on the way back as they were so tired but they did great staying up and eating so late.
We've had a great start to the holidays with days out to local places and even a trip to the seaside so far but we're now waiting for the weather to pick up again before we do anything too exciting.
Today we are having our bedroom wall insulated so maybe by the weekend we will have a nice newly decorated bedroom. It was nice before but I want a complete change so we may go from this:
To probably something much more relaxing and serene like a duck egg blue but I feel there is enough blue in the house. I want something relaxing and not too boring.
Thursday, 23 May 2013
All The Small Things
When you become a parent, you realise ALL the small things in life are not so small.
That leaf falling off a tree is doing so to make way for the next season. That leaf becomes a thing of wonder to a small child. The shape, the colour, the texture, it is more than just a leaf to a little person.
That puddle was just made for jumping in.
The little things are what the little people love most.
Today I am a little bit... maybe not tearful....but definitely emotional. I am very much aware of those days beginning to fall away from us.
Liam is growing up far too fast. My "baby" is doing me so proud at the moment but I see his toddler days are fast disappearing.
Today, Liam bought this home from his playgroup:
The little darling is not 4 yet and beginning to write his name! If not, he made a great fakery of it. My baby is using a pen to write letters. I am so proud of him but at the same time, I'm giving up all the baby and toddler things.
Of course it's fantastic seeing them grow, seeing them learn, seeing them progress but it doesn't mean you don't miss the baby days.
It's 10 years to the week that I announced I was pregnant for the first time. My best friend married on May 24th (or 25th) and I was approximately 6-7 weeks pregnant at the time. I couldn't say nothing before because I wanted her day to be about her. I hid the nausea on the morning of her wedding. Whilst I was getting ready in my bridesmaid dress, having hair and make up done with her, the other bridesmaid and her mother they were all drinking champagne - I was sipping tea. I have only ever drunk alot of tea when I have been pregnant. I had a small glass of wine with the meal to avert too much suspicion but I couldn't stomach it. Even after the wedding no-one noticed my lack of drink. We were all too busy having a good time and everyone else was quite jolly. Even when my ex and I were staying at the hotel she married at, we sneaked off early as I was worn out and feeling less than perfect. I blamed him saying he'd drunk too much. Ha! It wasn't all a lie, he had and I hadn't drunk anything.
It was when she was either the day after or the day she was due back from her honeymoon that I finally told her. I sent her a text along the lines of "Congratulations, I hope she had had a good time and all that and here's to a great future. I've got a little bit of good news to share too, in January I'm going to be a mummy!!!"
That was 10 years ago. I remember it ALL so clearly. Those early days of pregnancy were filled with so much hope and love and even though my own relationship wasn't that amazing at the time, I had something, somebody to really focus on.
I'd never change my past for the world.
I may have gone through the mill a few times as well as under and over it but it's made me who I am and without a few wrong turns in the road, I wouldn't have reached todays path. Life's too short for regrets.
I can't believe it was 10 years ago that I first realised I was pregnant. That time has gone so fast and I am now stuck with this strapping young lad:
I am so proud of all my beautiful babies. xxxx
That leaf falling off a tree is doing so to make way for the next season. That leaf becomes a thing of wonder to a small child. The shape, the colour, the texture, it is more than just a leaf to a little person.
That puddle was just made for jumping in.
The little things are what the little people love most.
Today I am a little bit... maybe not tearful....but definitely emotional. I am very much aware of those days beginning to fall away from us.
Liam is growing up far too fast. My "baby" is doing me so proud at the moment but I see his toddler days are fast disappearing.
Today, Liam bought this home from his playgroup:
The little darling is not 4 yet and beginning to write his name! If not, he made a great fakery of it. My baby is using a pen to write letters. I am so proud of him but at the same time, I'm giving up all the baby and toddler things.
Of course it's fantastic seeing them grow, seeing them learn, seeing them progress but it doesn't mean you don't miss the baby days.
It's 10 years to the week that I announced I was pregnant for the first time. My best friend married on May 24th (or 25th) and I was approximately 6-7 weeks pregnant at the time. I couldn't say nothing before because I wanted her day to be about her. I hid the nausea on the morning of her wedding. Whilst I was getting ready in my bridesmaid dress, having hair and make up done with her, the other bridesmaid and her mother they were all drinking champagne - I was sipping tea. I have only ever drunk alot of tea when I have been pregnant. I had a small glass of wine with the meal to avert too much suspicion but I couldn't stomach it. Even after the wedding no-one noticed my lack of drink. We were all too busy having a good time and everyone else was quite jolly. Even when my ex and I were staying at the hotel she married at, we sneaked off early as I was worn out and feeling less than perfect. I blamed him saying he'd drunk too much. Ha! It wasn't all a lie, he had and I hadn't drunk anything.
It was when she was either the day after or the day she was due back from her honeymoon that I finally told her. I sent her a text along the lines of "Congratulations, I hope she had had a good time and all that and here's to a great future. I've got a little bit of good news to share too, in January I'm going to be a mummy!!!"
That was 10 years ago. I remember it ALL so clearly. Those early days of pregnancy were filled with so much hope and love and even though my own relationship wasn't that amazing at the time, I had something, somebody to really focus on.
I'd never change my past for the world.
I may have gone through the mill a few times as well as under and over it but it's made me who I am and without a few wrong turns in the road, I wouldn't have reached todays path. Life's too short for regrets.
I can't believe it was 10 years ago that I first realised I was pregnant. That time has gone so fast and I am now stuck with this strapping young lad:
I am so proud of all my beautiful babies. xxxx
Tuesday, 21 May 2013
Where Is The Goddamn Summer?
First off, Congratulations to Nicky on the arrival of her youngest little gentleman who arrived 15 days after his due date on Friday morning. Welcome to the 3 boys club Nicola. :)
It's been as chaotic a week as ever. From School sports day to a sneaky weekend away with the hubby.
The school sports day was cold and damp. This is meant to be spring, or as I like to call it, pre-summer and even today I have had to put the heating on. I have a cold. I am not happy with the weather situation AT ALL. Anyway, back to the point, sports day. James and Matthew were both taking part and siblings are always put into the same colour team as they do team sports in the morning. Hubby and I went along and watched our boys do the team sports The were running along balance beams, throwing mini bean bags into hoops, dressing up in hat scarf and a bag, balancing bean bags and doing a jump in a hula hoop. The boys team came fourth out of four which did not please my big competitive Matthew. However.... He did win his running race in the afternoon! Well done big man!! Unfortunately, due to having to pick Liam up from playgroup we missed his special moment but I did get this gorgeous photo of my handsome man before we left:
And here is his Sports Day award that he is so proud of!
Friday I took myself off into town for a long awaited haircut. I drove myself in on one of the busiest days of the week at a busy time and was really pleased with myself for going for a more challenging drive. I even remembered the ticket for parking. Our nearest town is great in the way that it does free parking everywhere all the time for up to 3 hours. You just need to remember the ticket to show your due departure time in the car window or face a £70 penalty fine for failing to do so. So I missed that. Phew.
Whilst I was out, hubby booked a surprise little break for us for the Saturday night. We would spend some of the day in Southwold and spend the evening and night in the town of Beccles. These are rather strange places indeed. Southwold is stuck in a time warp. A quaint little seaside village with a small town, a pier and a lighthouse and it's claim to fame is that it's where the Adnams brewery is based. Alot of the local beers and ciders come from there. The majority in our region though come from our neighbouring town Bury St Edmunds Greene King brewery. Suffolk is famous for it's alcohol. The town of Beccles is unlike any other I've ever visited. We thought we would go for chinese that night but despite there being 3 takeaways for chinese only 1 has a restaurant and that is closed on Friday and Saturday nights. Now, I can understand the takeaway being busier on these nights but surely they would be the best nights for the restaurant? Crazy people. There are no clothes shops. Not ones I know of at least. There are 3 betting shops, 6 charity shops, a Tesco, a Co-Op and 2 pubs. One was the place we stayed at, the other one we took a risk and had a drink in there but swiftly moved back to our hotel/pub.
We wouldn't say we had a horrible time, we found it all rather funny to be honest. We enjoyed the time to ourselves but won't be rushing back to either of those places any time too soon.
Weight Watchers is still going strong. I am now 17lbs lighter than when I started so it feels good.
It's been as chaotic a week as ever. From School sports day to a sneaky weekend away with the hubby.
The school sports day was cold and damp. This is meant to be spring, or as I like to call it, pre-summer and even today I have had to put the heating on. I have a cold. I am not happy with the weather situation AT ALL. Anyway, back to the point, sports day. James and Matthew were both taking part and siblings are always put into the same colour team as they do team sports in the morning. Hubby and I went along and watched our boys do the team sports The were running along balance beams, throwing mini bean bags into hoops, dressing up in hat scarf and a bag, balancing bean bags and doing a jump in a hula hoop. The boys team came fourth out of four which did not please my big competitive Matthew. However.... He did win his running race in the afternoon! Well done big man!! Unfortunately, due to having to pick Liam up from playgroup we missed his special moment but I did get this gorgeous photo of my handsome man before we left:
And here is his Sports Day award that he is so proud of!
Whilst I was out, hubby booked a surprise little break for us for the Saturday night. We would spend some of the day in Southwold and spend the evening and night in the town of Beccles. These are rather strange places indeed. Southwold is stuck in a time warp. A quaint little seaside village with a small town, a pier and a lighthouse and it's claim to fame is that it's where the Adnams brewery is based. Alot of the local beers and ciders come from there. The majority in our region though come from our neighbouring town Bury St Edmunds Greene King brewery. Suffolk is famous for it's alcohol. The town of Beccles is unlike any other I've ever visited. We thought we would go for chinese that night but despite there being 3 takeaways for chinese only 1 has a restaurant and that is closed on Friday and Saturday nights. Now, I can understand the takeaway being busier on these nights but surely they would be the best nights for the restaurant? Crazy people. There are no clothes shops. Not ones I know of at least. There are 3 betting shops, 6 charity shops, a Tesco, a Co-Op and 2 pubs. One was the place we stayed at, the other one we took a risk and had a drink in there but swiftly moved back to our hotel/pub.
We wouldn't say we had a horrible time, we found it all rather funny to be honest. We enjoyed the time to ourselves but won't be rushing back to either of those places any time too soon.
Weight Watchers is still going strong. I am now 17lbs lighter than when I started so it feels good.
Thursday, 16 May 2013
That Didn't Last Long
Ha, I'm back.
I just couldn't resist it.
Adding to the list of things I have started but have no idea of when I will ever finish them I can now add "closing down my blog" amongst them.
First of all, thanks to all those who took the time for the little messages on here and facebook (Apologies to Alissa for accidentally deleting your comment as I tried to allow it on my iphone but slightly went the wrong box - SORRY!!!!!)
So, why am I back and why did I feel enough was enough?
Well, I am going to focus on a specific little comment from Strawberri that REALLY made my morning and made me think about my blog in general.
I started my original blog in 1998/1999 at Diaryland. Some of you also came over from there and I adore the little friendships I have made through a persons words and life.
I've covered the lot. Teenage stuff, the single life, dating, boyfriends, work, a number of different jobs, friends, clubbing, pregnancy, marriage, divorce, babies, death, moving house, remarriage, children growing up, weight loss, health scares. Been there and done it ALL.
I've got personal, I've got tearful, I've been overflowing with happiness, there's been laughter, tears, love, hate, desperation, solitude, anger, hurt, humility and contentment. I've had long spells of hard times and I've been having many happier times in recent years.
But I've always been ME....
I may not get 10+ comments on every post I write. I may not do giveaways. I may not be great at posting recipes, at making crafty type things I may not advertise or try to sell things or have a really inspiring story to tell week upon week.
I no longer have babies, I have BOYS.
They really are growing up so blooming fast let me tell ya! I was given confirmation today that Liam is in nursery in September so I am going to have 3 boys in the same school building. 4 months today and my BABY Liam will be FOUR years old.
So you know, I've always been just me and sometimes that doesn't feel enough.
The internet and the world of blogging has changed SO MUCH in recent years and I can't say if it's in a good way or not. It sometimes feels like the whole idea of blogging has changed. It just makes me feel that little bit more unimportant that I haven't got a gimmick to sell my blog like many of them do. I don't do themes or prizes and I feel boring. I guess that's just me getting older! ;)
So, if you are still reading this then thank you. I am going to keep on blogging for a while and see how it goes.
I just couldn't resist it.
Adding to the list of things I have started but have no idea of when I will ever finish them I can now add "closing down my blog" amongst them.
First of all, thanks to all those who took the time for the little messages on here and facebook (Apologies to Alissa for accidentally deleting your comment as I tried to allow it on my iphone but slightly went the wrong box - SORRY!!!!!)
So, why am I back and why did I feel enough was enough?
Well, I am going to focus on a specific little comment from Strawberri that REALLY made my morning and made me think about my blog in general.
I started my original blog in 1998/1999 at Diaryland. Some of you also came over from there and I adore the little friendships I have made through a persons words and life.
I've covered the lot. Teenage stuff, the single life, dating, boyfriends, work, a number of different jobs, friends, clubbing, pregnancy, marriage, divorce, babies, death, moving house, remarriage, children growing up, weight loss, health scares. Been there and done it ALL.
I've got personal, I've got tearful, I've been overflowing with happiness, there's been laughter, tears, love, hate, desperation, solitude, anger, hurt, humility and contentment. I've had long spells of hard times and I've been having many happier times in recent years.
But I've always been ME....
I may not get 10+ comments on every post I write. I may not do giveaways. I may not be great at posting recipes, at making crafty type things I may not advertise or try to sell things or have a really inspiring story to tell week upon week.
I no longer have babies, I have BOYS.
They really are growing up so blooming fast let me tell ya! I was given confirmation today that Liam is in nursery in September so I am going to have 3 boys in the same school building. 4 months today and my BABY Liam will be FOUR years old.
So you know, I've always been just me and sometimes that doesn't feel enough.
The internet and the world of blogging has changed SO MUCH in recent years and I can't say if it's in a good way or not. It sometimes feels like the whole idea of blogging has changed. It just makes me feel that little bit more unimportant that I haven't got a gimmick to sell my blog like many of them do. I don't do themes or prizes and I feel boring. I guess that's just me getting older! ;)
So, if you are still reading this then thank you. I am going to keep on blogging for a while and see how it goes.
Wednesday, 8 May 2013
Au Revoir
I am really losing track of time, I am really not feeling this blog anymore either. Facebook has become my main form of communication to the entire world these days.
There's nothing too new I can add here.
The kids are growing up.
Me and hubby are happy.
Life revolves around school days and days out.
I feel happy.
There is not anything really bothering me in the way that I need to vent. *Some things will ALWAYS bother me but not too badly. hehe*
I just don't feel I can take this blog any further.
Life is just good. I'm settled, I'm happy. Nothing really big or exciting is going on right now but that's ok because it's how I have begun to enjoy life. Whilst it's good to have an exciting life, it's also good to know things are just going as I want them to.
All that into consideration, I feel now is a good time to bring this blog to a close. Thank you for the friendship and support over the years and there are some of you I know I will keep in touch with via other sites and I will continue to read blogs, but this just isn't for me anymore.
All the best to the wonderful people in blogland.
Becca xxx
There's nothing too new I can add here.
The kids are growing up.
Me and hubby are happy.
Life revolves around school days and days out.
I feel happy.
There is not anything really bothering me in the way that I need to vent. *Some things will ALWAYS bother me but not too badly. hehe*
I just don't feel I can take this blog any further.
Life is just good. I'm settled, I'm happy. Nothing really big or exciting is going on right now but that's ok because it's how I have begun to enjoy life. Whilst it's good to have an exciting life, it's also good to know things are just going as I want them to.
All that into consideration, I feel now is a good time to bring this blog to a close. Thank you for the friendship and support over the years and there are some of you I know I will keep in touch with via other sites and I will continue to read blogs, but this just isn't for me anymore.
All the best to the wonderful people in blogland.
Becca xxx
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