BOOM

Altogether now, Aaaaawwwwww!!!!

Doesn't it just make you want one? Don't ya just forget about the prior 9 months of discomfort, moods, pains, feeling fat and like a social outcast? Forget about the birth side of it etc, He's a gorgeous little thing*.

This is just how I felt on the return to school today after 2 weeks off to be greeted by not one newborn baby boy but FOUR. It's been a busy two weeks for the local mums. Two of them are mums at the nursery Liam goes to. One of which was the baby of my friend that had the eptopic pregnancy late last year. It turned out she was having non identical twins, one nearly killed her, the other became a one in a million baby that got through so much just to exist. I am SO thrilled for that little family. All I can say, without giving too much away is that that baby is named after a world famous boxer since he was a little fighter from the word go.

Then in James class there was another birthday last Tuesday. I was trying to leave school this morning (Just in case there's something in the air as well as the water), patted her on the shoulder as I was passing to say Congratulations, had a peep in the pram to see a little blue hat. "Awww, so it's a boy... he's lovely! Well done" I said - like you do, for her to say "2 boys!" On closer inspection, there laid another baby sleeping top to toe at the other end of the pram. It was the cutest and loveliest little surprise ever!

Another mum had her baby boy early May so that's 5 baby boys been born in May. It's mad. There appears to be no clearly pregnant mums about at the moment so it must be getting near time for 2015 baby announcements.

**Don't give me that look - wink wink**

So, what with that and online friends having baby news and things going on this week, what can I say other than yes, I am feeling it right now. And all these boys being born must up my chances for a girl next year eh? Only kidding, Never say Never is all I say.... As much as I think of the un-practicalness of it all, they are still lovely and though some days, months and schooldays are tough, a big part of me, a big CRAZY part of me WOULD do it all again.


*Photo from Google search. Not a baby I actually know. I liked it so borrowed it.

30 Day Shred

Yes, I'm doing it.

Really!!!

I am doing the 30 Day Shred.

Yep, UK size 18-20 (US 14-16 - I need to live in your country!) can do Jillian Michaels regimes.

It hurts, it's tough but I am strangely enjoying it despite my thighs feeling the pressure. The common complaint on level one is the knees, my knees are fine but my thighs feel solid and like they are bearing the brunt.

It's also bought on a whole new level of appetite. I am so hungry the following morning! I snack on fruit all day, I feel really healthy. I've heard all that before about hunger being the sign of fat burning. That would be lovely. It's definitely a feeling in my tummy I'm not used to.

So, today is day 3. 10% of the way through. Tomorrow I will make 4 days and Saturday can be my rest day. I'm currently trying to work out when to get todays done. I got as far as the warm ups before the kids drove me to give up. Exericising in half term holidays is easier said than done. After 2 days though, I know the basics so I'm doing 20 jumping jacks every time I go in the kitchen. Every little helps. :)

May - Pictures Tell A Million Stories

 1. May The 4th Be With You - Liam got enrolled in the Disney Shop as a Jedi Master.

 

2.Game Of Thrones Land On My Doorstep - 15 minutes walk from my home is a nature reserve. This is one of my favourite photo's I've ever taken. It looks so gentile and magical with the lake behind the clearing. 

 3. Same Nature Reserve - Matthew and Liam playing football. Liams smile says it all.

4. James New Bed - James has grown up far too quick. He's got a mid sleeper complete with storage. He loves Spiderman. The bottom drawer on the far right is where he keeps his Spiderman dress up suit. The wooden block above the cupboards pulls out as a desk.

5. Matthews first trip away from home and family. They went off on a camping trip with the school this week. Matthew is at the front of the coach in the yellow shirt. He looks so big in that view! He says he missed us and didn't really enjoy it.

6. We sneakily went away ourselves whilst Matthew was away so James enjoyed the sunny car journey.

7. We arrived to bright sunshine and scorching heat. It was a beautiful little day to get away.

8. Liam was excited to be there. Upon arrival we got a snack before heading off to the seaside.

 9. Liam LOVES the carousel horses. The look on his face with daddy is a picture.

 10. James prefers bigger rides. He's been on these planes so many times but this break was special as he now realises the planes are the same colour as Spiderman.

 11. Even Liam is big enough to go on some rides himself. He will only go on the train if he can sit in the front to ring the bell so we have to let one train go and he waits to be at the front of the queue to get his prized seat.

12. James chilling. Batman shirt. Spiderman shoes. Marvel rules the world.

Lyrics of The Week

Real update coming soon but today I heard a song I love and the little things you never notice suddenly seem to jump out at you. 

"Wish that I could stay forever this young
Not afraid to close my eyes
Life's a game made for everyone
And love is a prize"

Aloe Blacc

Sometimes, we just need to enjoy the present and have  a little perspective when so much is going on in the world. Good and bad times fall upon us all, but you know, we only get one go at this life. We need to play it to have a chance of winning.

So, whilst I'm sure we all know the Avicii version and whilst Avicii is my favourite dance act in recent years, I think this version is that little bit more soulful and me!

Turn it up and have a happy Thursday!

On We Go

Welcome to May, this year is zooming by.

All seems to be ok in the T residence as we just flit from appointment to appointment running back and forth for different things.

Hubby's diabetes is stable. His levels haven't changed for 2 years but the hospital still want him to bring his blood glucose levels below 7. He has been stalling at 7.5 which is still rather good but not in the hospital guidelines so a slight change of pattern is needed. He now injects insulin before meals and in different places to where he used to. He goes back in 3 months for a review.

Matthew is still struggling a little at school with organisation and concentration. I spent an hour in a meeting the other day and I am still no clearer on the next move with helping him. Matthew is a complex little character who does great for so long then he drops behind again and has to work hard at things again. It does all seem a bit pointless at times, THIS is what Matthew is and they seem to be trying to make him into someone and something else. The school "interest" just knocks his confidence more as he feels he can't live up to their expectations.

In a little over 2 weeks time, Matthew is off on a residential camping trip with the school for 4 nights. They are away Monday to Friday and he is so excited. We have his sleeping bag, ground sheet, torch etc. It's just a case of getting together all the clothes and wash bag. He can't wait to go.

James is doing ok. Coming up this week we see the occupational therapist. Someone who may be able to help him with making mundane jobs easier. Doing up buttons etc. He has come on so much in recent weeks and as much as I do admit I think we are making progress by these appointments, I also fear that it may be damaging his education. He is losing a day a month easily to get to these appointments. On Monday he had a 50mile round trip to a speech and language assessment meaning he missed all the afternoon then, and this OT appointment is at 12 so he could go to school for 2 hours and get back for the last hour. I keep telling myself it will benefit him but it feels like a waste of a day. His speech was doing ok, his understanding and reasoning perfect and quite above levels for his age. The lady said he was very forward and was held back a little by confidence of getting answers wrong and he doesn't like being noticed in a large crowd. He'd rather blend in. She also said the same thing I have been saying for months, part of his lisp and unclear wording comes from his missing tooth that is lodged in his gum due to an accident as a toddler. He cannot make the "Ffffff" noise as he can't do the bunny rabbit teeth they advise to learn it as he cannot push his tongue behind the teeth so it comes out "Sssssss" and the same with his "J" it comes out "Z" as his tongue doesn't quite reach that point it needs to. Overall, they aren't too concerned but are now in the process of getting him speech support within school.  SUCCESS! Still lots more to work on but that's one thing we won't have to travel to disrupting his learning.

Liam has now completed 2 weeks of one on one speech therapy. He is thriving on it. He loves the singular attention and is working on his "Ppppp" sounds to start. He is also being encouraged to use more words like "Is" "Was" etc as he tends to shorten his sentences. For example looking at pictures he'll describe one as "He clapping his hands" The speech therapist, school and I are working together to get the full description of "The boy is clapping his hands" just to make that sentence clear and complete. He's doing well.

On Tuesday he is off on his first official school trip. The nursery class are off to a local farm for the day. It's a slightly extended day lasting until 1pm instead of the usual 11.45am collection. He'll love it. He's always loved his animals. So with my boys all at school until later on Tuesday it's mums day in town to get her hair cut, do a little girly shopping, get Matthew his little bag for camping with all the male grooming bits he'll need. The shower gel, toothpaste, toothbrush, deodrant, maybe even a little hair gel for his disco night. Then I'm going to shamelessly buy myself a magazine and have a lazy half hour with a decent coffee in one of the town coffee shops and just enjoy a bit of solo time. Blissful. :)

Weight Loss Catchup.

I don't often post pictures of myself here but this an inspiration post for me to check back on every now and then.

This week I marked one year of rejoining Weight Watchers, I won't reveal my true weight on here but this was me on Wednesday when I marked my 1 year anniversary and had that day reached a grand total of 47.5lbs loss.

This is Easter weekend, I am on a mission to lose that 2.5lbs this week to reach my 50lb goal.

I do have the odd picture of me here and there but mostly upper body shots.

I am not as round as I was, I have a waist and a block of torso. I have always had the big hips and bum and here I am in clingy clothing as it's my exercise gear and I wanted to see the definition. I plan to do one of these posts every stone I lose from here on.

I still have far far to go but right now I am feeling good and full of optimism.

Oh sod it, since I'm feeling a bit vain and pleased with myself, here's a selfie of me in my favourite jeans (now loose) and a nice red t shirt. It's the best I can get with a mirror shot.

And just to recap, this is the photo that started it all.  I may be hiding at the back but I am ma-hoo-sive in this photo and ready to change, it just took another year to be brave enough to do it.

Reflection

Every now and then, I am just in awe of this world.

As much as you hope for good things, it sometimes just dawns on you that you are incredibly lucky.

If someone had told me 10 years ago, I'd be happily married with 3 kids living in the country side I would have laughed.

Actually, no, I wouldn't have laughed. I'd have burst into tears and thought how the fuck could that be possible when I feel so desperate and alone in the world.

I was no good to myself or any of those around me.

Firstly because I was married to my ex at the time. I couldn't imagine us having a long future. 

Secondly as this was close to the time we first properly separated just 6 months after we married. I think this was part of the "working it out" phase.

Thirdly because I was far from happy. I had my baby boy, he was all that mattered but the two options in front of me at that time were a real case of being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Misery of being a single parent looked likely but the thought of continuing an emotionally battering, controlling marriage wasn't any better an option. Whatever I did, I felt damned if I did, damned if I didn't.

10 years ago life was a struggle.

10 years ago I was more lost than ever.

So to have found the strength to get away from an "abusive" relationship, to have taken a big step into the crazy world out there just over a year later was a revelation.

A revelation that life can be as good as you want it to be.

You just have to be brave to make that step.

Moving on was hard, rediscovering myself was exciting and stressful at the same time. But I kept strong, kept my head held high and was happy for the first time in a long long time.

Then I met hubby and it all snowballed in a happy way I'd never felt before.

Things have been settled for 4 years in our little country home, my husband works hard, looks after us all and our 3 sons are beautiful and overall we are all fit and healthy.

THIS is all what matters in life.

Some people would not be happy with the genteelness of Happy Ever After, they have to create their own dramas, they don't feel secure, they don't feel happy with what they have. Some people have to have all the drama and that isn't me.

I'd much rather blend into society, put my family first and let life roll by around me.

I think I've found my Inner Peace.

Hello April

1) We have just finished school for Easter.
2) The kids took part in a Church Service for Easter, Matthew did a reading and they all sang the songs. It was much better than I expected it to be.
3) The walk to the Church was lovely. I collected Liam from lunch club and then we walked up assisting the Reception class. They were brilliantly behaved and we all enojoyed the walk.
4) Now home my phone pedometer has recorded 14, 732 steps, 10.2km covered in 2hours 29minutes.
5) I'm enjoying a coffee and rest.
6) Not heard anything about hubby's blood tests. Assuming no news is good news.
7) Hubby had an eye test this week. He needs glasses for driving, just like me.
8) Liam has appointments for his speech therapy.
9) Last Sunday the clocks went forward. The kids have coped well. I'm coping better. They now get up at 6.30 not 5.30am.
10) Sunday was also Mothers Day. We didn't do much special  Hubby was working so it was just me and the kids. They got me a massive card and a new Wii game. I love it.
11) Hubby is getting on well with the new shifts. They are 7am-7pm Mon, Tue, Sat, Sun one week. Then Wednes, Thurs Fri, the next. If he's off one day, he'll be working that day the following week and vice versa. It's working well.
12) The kids are getting so grown up.
13) Liam especially. This was his last Church service as a spectator. Next one will be Christmas and he'll be taking part in his little school uniform.
14) James is a smart little cookie these days. He's getting sneaky.
15) Matthews teacher stopped me at the end of his performance and congratulated him on how well he is behaving lately. We have made so much progress in the last year and Matthew deserves to be commended for it.
16) Matthew is currently into The Wimpy Kids books.
17) I have 8 books out from the library for myself and cannot decide which one I want to read most!
18) I'm trying to get to 20, can you tell?
19) School reports were out this week. I cannot ask for anything more from any of my kids other than they try their hardest and that's what they sound like they are doing. I'm such a proud Mum!
20) I made it, here's just a couple of pictures: