In The Fields

Look at this lovely little yellow flowery thing I spotted in a field this week!

A field that is HUGE.

 Near to where I live we have 7 or 8 big fields of this, and I mean big fields. It covers a good number of acres.

It's incredibly close to my house too.

I pretty much live where the white house is in the mid section of the buildings on the left so you could say I live within a couple of hundred meters of this.

In the next few weeks it will grow into a field like this (car not included):

Ah, the beautiful British countryside hey??

NO!!!! NOT AT ALL!!!!

This is an evil field and will put a dampener on the summer months. Especially around harvest.

This is rapeseed. Rapeseed is a MAJOR allergen and this will cause me a really bad case of hay fever this year. Rapeseed allergy is even noted in England as being more than just hay fever and has it's own classification of allergies and that it is classified as a "polluter" to the British public. Some even call it Rapeseed Syndrome. Though many people will be unaffected by the little yellow flowers that give off a slight scent and fumes, those of us who do get the side effects will experience the following:

Flu like Symptoms
Asthma like Symptoms
Sore itchy eyes
Headaches
Conjunctivitis
Sinus infections
Skin Disorders
Puffy sore eyes
Wheezing

And that's just a few of the possible 32 side effects.

A couple of weeks back, I actually pulled a root out of the ground to try and guess what the green field was and to whether there was anything growing underground. No signs at all as to what it was. Within a few minutes, the top of my hand, where it had brushed a leaf of the bush had me with a load of little blister like bumps so I won't be touching it again ever.

Though I haven't experienced this yet this year, when we moved here 2 years ago I had the worst case of "hay fever" I had in my life. Blaming the surrounding area for it's increase in pollen, I put up with it as much as I could before buying something in a chemist. The harvest was almost unbearable.

It was a rapeseed year. That's why it was worse than ever before. This year I will be visiting my GP to get some proper relief.

The farmers work on a 2 year rotation.

The field nearer my house is just like grass at the moment and last year it was wheat or corn (the grain, not sweetcorn)  I believe. That didn't cause any trouble whatsoever so I am interested to see what the green grass like thing turns out to be this year.

So whilst I am looking forward to summer, I am also looking ahead to a possible summer on prescription.

What Being A Mum Means To Me.

There is another post back one if you missed it. I'm on a roll writing 2 days in a row. It's been a long long time since I did that. :)
 
I am the first to admit that I go through blogging stages where some weeks I have no time on my hands whatsoever then occassionally the oppertunity arises I find I DO have time to blog. But then I am stuck with "Bloggers Block". If authors can get "Writers Block" then I think "Bloggers Block" must also exist.

I am a blogger that generally surveys my family life and my surroundings. I don't write to create arguments, I don't write to try and get as many followers as possible, what my blog is is simply ME and how I see the world. I love new people popping by, I would love new followers and comments by new people or lurkers but it's not the main reason why I blog.

So, it's My World......

The world is a truly magnificent place in my eyes. There will always be those who go through hardships and being the optimist that I am, I see many of these people come out the other side. By no means have I had an easy life, I've been through some rather nasty situations over the years but for every hardship there is a silver lining and part of human nature is to thrive for something better.

I love reading other blogs. I don't always comment as I don't always have time but I do have my favourites with whom I try to comment on regularly if not every post. If I don't comment, there's still a good chance I read, just have little time for anything else.

The world is an ever changing place. There is constantly new patterns emerging. New trends, new friends, new life come out of both real life and fellow bloggers.

I am currently reading a few pregnancy blogs, some related to infertility but many of those have found that silver lining. Some are having less than easy pregnancies, some have even welcomed their little ones from singular births to triplets to this big wide world earlier than they should have arrived but it's good to see them doing well.

For others, every day is closer to holding a long awaited baby.

Now, whilst I understand that many have not had easy pregnancies at times - these are such special times and days that should be incredibly cherished.

In the blink of an eye your baby becomes 2 and a half years old. That's right, somehow, my little Liam is now nearer 3 years old than 2.

As much as I LOVE reading in on the pregnancies and all the excitement surrounding a new birth, I know my baby days are very much over.

I look back with much fondness on my pregnancies. Though the second and third pregnancies were not exactly plain sailing, I LOVED being pregnant.

With James I was admitted to hospital bleeding and the panic set off contractions. I was 30 weeks. An overnight stay and I was sent off home as contractions stopped as did the bleeding. They never got to the bottom of what caused it and despite closer monitoring I never had another hospital visit until the morning he was born.

With Liam, at first I couldn't get excited about the pregnancy. James was very young and very early in the pregnancy I had very sharp lower stomach pains. I couldn't rest knowing how severe the pains were. Again, the doctor couldn't say why I was in that pain and because I never bled, I really didn't know what was going on in there. I was very anxious when it came to the 12 weeks scan. I was prepared for a missed miscarriage but seeing a little 12 week old "baby" with a precious little heartbeat greeted us on the screen.

As the pregnancy progressed I was tested for everything from Gestational Diabetes to Pre-Eclampsia as he was measuring bigger and my blood pressure would vary hugely from each visit to the midwife.

The fears and scares turned out to be ill founded and when I look at my little people, they truly were all entirely worth it. Those 9 months go very very fast! (Faster if they arrive before their due date)

When they do arrive, some do it quietly without much fuss - my 3 certainly did, others enter the world in a more dramatic way but once that little person or persons are here then that's when life really begins.

Nothing prepares you properly for motherhood. Books and people may be on hand for advice but every child is different and so is every mother. I prefer the laid back approach, letting the babies feed on demand, letting them learn independence early on (ie, putting them in a bouncer to do housework is FAR easier than trying to drag them around with you in a sling) to let them develop at their own pace. I never did baby massage though it's incredibly trendy these days, I just gave them alot of love and affection with cuddles, playing games and tickling. All for free.

Everyone takes on motherhood in their own way. Nothing is right or wrong. Sometimes we get it right. Sometimes we won't and that doesn't make us any less of a mother, just a human one.

Having a baby is whole new life of learning and no babies are the same so what works for one may not necessarily work for another. You need to get to know your own child rather than base all your knowledge on another child. My 3 boys for instance are very very different in character and great fun in their own little ways.

There's never a right or wrong path with kids, but it's a whole new journey. It won't always be easy but it's one of the most rewarding things in the world when you see your baby grow and become a little person of their own.

So, whilst I do reminisce about pregnancy and the excitement that surrounds the impending arrival, these days are just as fabulous watching that little life you helped create come into their own as a real little person. Things change and I am never fearful of change, you just need to be able to adapt and that makes it all that much easier.

The new-born days really don't last long then the stages come and go in the blink of an. The rolling, the sitting up, the crawling, walking, the first tooth (teething is not something I miss), first immumisations, eating solids, growing out of clothes, growing out of toys, growing out of the highchair, potty training, nurseries, As much as this list looks crazy these milestones soon come round.

Enjoy every moment of pregnancy and baby-ness. It really does just fly by.

For those still trying, my deepest best wishes are continuously with you to experience this amazing adventure!!!! 

The Day My Sons Met The Queen - Well, Almost.

Liam was taken to the hospital as planned last week for his op. We saw the nurse, the surgeon, and the consultant. Were admitted for the day. Liam had his heart rate checked, his temperature taken and some nice tags put around his wrist and ankle. Then along comes the anaesthetist. At this point, Liam coughs. This is the first time he has coughed in 3 days. She doesn't like the sound of it and checks his chest with her stephoscope and announces that she wouldn't be happy giving him anaestetic in this condition and advised us to go home. The previous night we told the hospital he had a cough and cold and they couldn't see why that would put off surgery but this woman thought otherwise. Frustrated we left and are now awaiting yet another appointment.

So on Saturday we decided to take the kids to London again for a treat and show them a little more of the sights. The boys loved the trains as always and Liam and James act like they use the tube every single day.

They are so happy and relaxed on the trains. It suits them. :)

Liam particularly loves the escalators in and out of stations.

Some stations have 3 of these!!! The general rule in London is to stand to the right so people can ascend or descend the stairs (depending if you are exiting or entering the system). Liam absolutely loved it.

Our first stop in London was to Hamleys Toy Shop. Once the biggest toy shop in Europe, it boasts of 5 floors of toys. It IS big.

This year they have a new addition of a bigger Lego department. This year is also the celebration of The Queens Diamond Jubilee (60 years on the throne for Her Royal Highness) and they have gone all out with models made from Lego to commemorate such an event.

This explains how my 2 sons got a photo with The Queen. Ha!

 Here we have the Lego copy of the Crown that she wore on her Coronation back in 1952.

And here we have a re-enactment of last years Royal Wedding also created using Lego. On the left is Prince Charles, then Kate Middleton, Proce William and Prince Harry. Amongst them are some fools who got in the way of my photo.

After the toy shop we jumped on a tube to Westminster and saw the Houses of Parliament and Big Ben the world famous clock!

Unfortunately, the weather was very very grey (Welcome to England) and doesn't show just how much gold is used in this building. You can just get an idea of it around the clock face.

I particularly liked the above picture as it does show everything that is Iconic of London. Parliament, Big Ben, the Red Bus and a Hackney cab - a pay as you go taxi. This style of cab is usually only found in London. This view was across Westminster Bridge as we stood closer to:

The London Eye. I never realised just how big this thing is. It's amazing. Each "pod" can hold up to 20 people. Though we didn't go on it, we got very close but we know it's not over-priced should we visit London again on a sunnier day, it would certainly be in the running on what we can do.

Closer up, it's still as breathtaking:

Matthew was very impressed to have his photo taken in front of the old traditional Routemaster bus. These are no longer in public service as all busses in the Capital have to be Wheelchair friendly so this is now a rare old bus. Just look at the nice little cabin for the bus driver.

We then hopped on a train to the O2 arena. We went there before and Matthew loved it. We met up with hubbys mum and sister before going to a chinese buffet in the area surrounding the arena. That night, it was St Patricks Day and the big show for the night was The Commitments.

The O2 looks much better at night than it does during the day:

We got home rather late that night but the kids had the best time.

Sunday was Mothers Day and I got a lovely pair of cards made in school with flowers on them and a card daddy picked up at the shop. I also got a couple of jigsaw puzzles and one of those big jigsaw transporter/safe keeping folder so I can start bigger puzzles and leave them out without fear of the kids dinner being spilt on it or Liam taking apart the pieces. Jigsaws are a rare treat for mums, it's one of those things you take for granted when you don't have kids. haha.

We had my mother in law round for Sunday lunch and had a relatively easy day.

On Tuesday we had a trip to neighbouring village Lavenham as hubby had a doctors appointment there. Our two surgeries are linked so if we can't get in at Melford, we go over to Lavenham. The weather was beautiful and I couldn't resist a "first day of Spring" picture.

I have a little more to say but since this is a pic heavy post, I will save it for another day. Wishing one and all a wonderful weekend.

Poorly Babes, Op Week and Stratford - Home of the 2012 Olympics

The little people have all been poorly little people.

James got hit the hardest with a cold/flu like bug. Real fever, real sleepiness and exhaustion. The cold didn't come out until the last couple of days but he was off school for the whole of last week. Matthew has been off with it today but seems fine. Liam hasn't had it too bad. A cough, runny nose but now he has lost his voice.

A nice little dose of laryngitis to end a cold. Normally, a voiceless Liam is nothing to worry about. This week, I am VERY worried about it. Liam is having his operation on Friday. He HAS to be well. I am hoping his little voice comes back quick. Today is day 2 of voicelessness. He is well in every other way but has no vocal ability. A couple of nights in a row he was crying for long periods wanting to not go to bed. He only settled with me or hubby in our own bed. There's a point where this is ok for short term but when they expect it every night, it becomes a strain having 3 in the bed and when the smallest person takes up the most room, keeps waking up, keeps kicking you in the back and generally disturbing one's own nights sleep, then small person should be in small persons own bed and not lying beside mummy like so.

So for part of Thursday, Friday and Saturday we left him in his room, hoping he would fall asleep by himself eventually. Sometimes you have to leave little ones to cry and show who is boss. Of course, LIAM is boss as we gave in every night, there's only so much crying you can put up with and it's not fair on James trying to sleep in the room where Liam is giving it all with his vocal cords.

Sunday morning, Liam was rather squeaky sounding with very little noise coming out at all. He can't cry apart from a small "mew" type sound and sounds very breathy. He is well apart from this, eating well and playing as normal. He just needs his voice back. Today it was still missing, but I'm sure he's a little louder and less squeaky than yesterday. We just need him ok by Friday.

As for the actual procedure itself, I am not completely up with the details. As far as I know it's a tiny incision to use a smaller camera to take a look at what may be causing the problem. Hence why it's called investigative surgery. I don't know what will happen if it is a hernia return. If they can fix it there and then or if they will put us upon another waiting list. We should only be in a matter of hours and home the same day. I just hope all goes smooth enough to  run to plan and we will find out more about after care afterwards I should imagine.

The rest of life appears to be going well. We spent two weekends running visiting a new shopping centre in London.

Westfield Stratford is the biggest shopping centre in London. There are streets upon streets that are famous names, every zone of London has it's "High Street" and town centre. But with the density of London, the shopping centres are outside of London itself. The reason this now exists is because Stratford is undergoing a MAJOR rejuvenation at the moment. This is hubbys photo from one of the viewing platforms in the Center:

The white structure in the background with the white little triangles in the air (though I appreciate it isn't easy to see with the lovely grey skies of England) belong to the main Olympic Stadium.

Security getting into this shopping centre and the Olympic Village is IMMENSE. I have never seen anything like it. You drive through the Village where the competitors will be staying, pass some sports arenas and the main arena to get to the car park. On the 2-3 mile journey we are surrounded by electric fences, security checkpoints and security camera on high every 20 meters. The place IS secure and amazing. The effort that has gone into all this is just crazy.

We didn't do much in the way of shopping, we just like to explore new places.

On Satuday night I won a prize draw through facebook. One of the local pubs in the village chose me to be the winner of a £20 gift voucher for said pub for simply liking their facebook page. Wow! I am incredibly happy. The pub is fairly expensive being in our trendy little villate so hubby and I will have a treat sometime next week. It's pointless trying to get out this weekend as here in good old Blighty, it is Mothers Day on Sunday. I have no idea what to get my mum or mother in law yet but hope to venture into town with Liam tomorrow whilst the two big boys are at school.

Modern History - The Stories I've Seen Unfold

A bit of a change in posts for today.

Every now and then we witness a defining moment in history.

I wasn't born when Elvis died.

But like many I remember exactly what I was doing Sunday 31st August 1997.

It was a number of weeks after I had left school and just taken my exams and my results were good enough to get me into the college course I wanted. They were also good enough to do the modern apprenticeships in childcare I wished to do. However, I turned down both options in favour of taking on a new job in a couple of weeks time in an office.

On Sunday 31st August 1997, I was a month away from my 17th birthday and working in a paper shop. I had woken up to go to work. It was a normal Sunday. Normal except my mum was transfixed to the tv in shock that Princess Diana had been killed in a car crash.

That day at work was somewhat surreal. The papers sold fast. We had our normal customers but we sold out of EVERY newspaper that day. Incredibly rare for a Sunday. It was almost as if everyone wanted a piece of history. Of course, the papers were printed out very early in the morning to be available to sell that day. Some newspapers got second editions out that day but not in our shop as we closed at 12 on Sundays. All the papers that day said Dodi had died in the accident and Princess Diana was in a serious condition. You don't expect to be telling the shocked members of the public that hadn't had the tv or radio on that morning that that was no longer the case.

The following week, it was her funeral and it was my last weekend working at the shop with a new job to go to on the Monday. The shop closed for 3 hours out of respect and to allow the staff to watch the funeral at St Pauls Cathedral. One of the most beautiful pieces of architecture in London.

On September 11th, 2001, I was on my second day in a new job. I was working as a cook in an elderly ladies home. I was working with the other chef and learning the ropes. We were in the kitchen so knew little of what was going on. The other chefs daughter was a travel agent and phoned to say they hadn't heard the full story of what was going on but all flights into the US were cancelled until further notice and all planes on course to New York and Washington were being diverted. We went into the tv room just as the second plane struck The World Trade Centre. Call me old fashioned but in the circumstances I choose not to call it "The Twin Towers". Although it has always been the Trade Centers nickname, I believe that it should be honoured in it's rightful name rather than become a place known by the informal name when it holds so much history. The years dwindled by. The threat of war with Afghanistan, the war itself. Onto Iraq. The capture and killing of Saddam. Then finally almost 10 yrs after the 9/11 attacks, Bin Laden too was executed and thrown to the sharks on May 2nd 2011. I have to admit I didn't know the date of Bin Ladens death until I did a little research.

Both of these events led to major conspiracy theories of the UK Royal Family and the US Government. Throughout the years these theories have been endless. But these are the biggies of our own lifetime.

Then of course came the fall of Libya and the eventual death of Gaddafi in October 2011.

2011 was a big year.

The earliest big news event I remember from my childhood was The Zeebrugger Disaster. 25 years ago today, a ferry named "The Herald of Free Enterprise" capsized on it's journey to Southern England. 193 people lost their lives in a "mechanical error". The ferrys back door did not shut properly if I remember correctly. This was when I was six and I still remember it vividly.

Just a year later, another big event stays in my mind. Lockerbie happened in 1988. Much in the news again recently, a bomb went off on a Pan America flight as it flew over the UK, the plane came down on a Scottish Village of Lockerbie. A total of 260 people died, 11 of those villagers killed by debris. Mostly American and British victims were on the plane. The reason it has been in the news recently is because it was by the order of the Libyan government.

Finally, the last BIG news story I remember from when I was growing up was the shocking attack on a school in Scotland. No-one had really heard of Dunblane.  Not until March 13th 1996. 16 children aged 5 and 6 were shot dead by a local shopkeepe, a teacher died trying to protect the children before the gunman turned the gun on himself. It's become a far too frequent occurrence in modern American colleges for a student to go on a form of rampage. It is never right - no matter where it is or whatever the reasons the attacker has. But to do it to a whole bunch of defenceless young children was shocking and always will be. It's one of those things I will never forget. Now having young kids myself, I cannot imagine the terror those mothers endured that day. You believe your kids are safe in school and to have a gunman go in like that defies belief. School security is now much tighter than it was back then.

So, this is what affected me most when I was growing up. The times the news REALLY did shock me to the core. This is just what I've seen in a little over 30 years on this planet. I really have to wonder what stories some of the most elderly could tell.

The Start Of March Already? Slow Down Year!!!

Two weeks on from my last post and all I can say is that things have been manic here. Time really does fly when you have kids.

Liam will be in hospital on this day in 2 weeks time for his keyhole surgery. Hopefully we will finally get to the bottom of what is causing the swelling in his groin. I am still rather convinced it may be the hernia. Always advised to massage the area to try and get the swelling down I do it almost daily now. The swelling nearly always goes right down, however a couple of times Liam has cried out and said "Hurt hurt" as I have gently massaged near to where his hernia scar is. Like I said, in 2 weeks time, we should have some answers.

James is now due his main pre-school jabs. So he will be up to date with the right innoculations for his age group and won't need anymore until he is probably 12 or 13. That's a strange thought.

Matthew is still awaiting something to be done regarding his ADHD. I was signed in for a parenting a couple of weeks back but that did not come into fruition. I was booked in for the most inconvenient time when hubby was at work and there was no school. I don't think they would have appreciated me turning up to parenting class with 3 children in tow. As much as the "professionals" want to do their best for said child, they are rarely sympathetic to those of us with other children who remain our priorities. Today I got a questionnaire in the post regarding Matthews behaviour so they can look into things deeper. I will have fun doing that later.

We are all fit and healthy and enjoying life as best as we can.

I have had a busy week catching up with friends so I haven't been home much and when I have been I have been host or catching up on the general running of the house.

The weather has been lovely this week and I managed to get all my seeds out for my flower patch. Liam helped me to water them and we had great fun in the garden working together and looking for ladybirds yesterday. It's lovely when we can just start getting out in the garden again. I adore the sunshine and good weather. Yesterday as well as getting the garden started I walked the kids back from school through the fields and the kids were amazed to be able to watch a tractor at work. There were two tractors about, one was stationary, the other was watering the crops. Part of living in the country is that I feel it makes it easier to explain to kids where their food comes from. They enjoy their food and I think it's important kids learn about what we eat. I think the field beside us is currently growing wheat. We'll soon find out and if it is I expect a tough year for my hayfever (allergies) so I hope this year isn't too bad.

Canterbury, Valentines Day and Trying To Remain Healthy

Hello Blogger, Hello Readers of Blogger, Hello Readers of Me!

Yes, I know I have become a bad blogger in recent weeks and I do apologise but my feet have barely touched the ground this week - let alone having my bum sit at the pc to catch up with the world. School holidays are a busy time. Especially when my hubby has a couple of days off.

Matthew had a lovely long sleepover at my nans this week. He stopped over Monday evening and we picked him up yesterday morning. He loves staying at my nans! We went round Monday evening as it was the anniversary of my grandads death to keep her company for a little and she was coping really well. She admitted she found the day before harder as it was the Sunday morning everything happened but in all she is doing really well.

Valentines Day went well.  Hubby had a problem at work and warned me he may be late but he got home a little after his normal time so it didn't spoil my plans. We had a lovely home cooked 3 course meal. That was delicious!

Starter: 

Mackeral Pate on grilled Ciabatta

Served with Wild Rocket Salad

Low fat pepper and chilli Dressing

Main:

Beef Bourginon

Dauphinois Potatoes

Broccoli, Green Beans, Sugar Snap Peas

Dessert: 

Chocolate Pots

Vanilla Ice Cream

 

That was served with a bottle of beer since I had a driving lesson early the next morning and didn't see it fit to open a luxury bottle of wine when it would play on my mind. It was a delicious meal and I enjoyed cooking it. I love foods that are easy to prepare and can just do it's magic in the oven. 

 

Hubby surprised me with a box of chocolates. They are now all gone except for the liqueurs. I'm not a big fan of them but I may give one a go - you never know, they may surprise me.

 

Matthew phoned me in the evening to ask if we had a good Valentines meal. He's a little sweetie! We had a nice little chat and he went back to watch tv with my nan as football was on tv. That boy has his priorities, haha.

 

I was going to buy myself a bunch of flowers but the local shop had identical flowers to the week before in a red cellophane packaging rather than the normal white/clear and selling them at £3 a bunch more than normal. Call me stubborn, but I know next week they will be back to normal price! I love the way V Day can become a premium for simple little pleasures in life. I wouldn't actually be surprised if said £3 more expensive flowers are actually reduced to normal price if there are any left when I visit said shop later.

 

Wednesdays driving lesson was a success. I feel I am really getting somewhere now.

 

We then went to Canterbury. 

 

 

Hubby, myself, the two little boys and my mother in law went to visit hubbys sister. It had been her birthday on Monday so took the oppertunity of being school holidays and Matthew being happy at my nans to make the 200 mile round journey. The kids travelled well and we had a lovely day out. We also got to meet my S-I-L's boyfriend for the first time and they seem very happy after almost a year togerher. 

Canterbury is a beautiful city in Kent. My S-I-L is at uni here and whilst I have been here a couple of times there is something magical about the place. It is a Cathedral city and James took much interest in trying to look at the Cathedral. Unfortunately it is a place you have to pay to go into and he was only able to look through the gates but he loved looking.  

He'd have loved it more if he could have got closer to see this view and have a look round inside it:

I must confess that in recent years I have become increasingly interested in older architecture and whilst I could never be described as a religious person, I find something so special and humbling in religious architecture. I love the churches, the cathedrals, the temples, even the ruins offer so much of a feeling of love, hope, faith, grandeur and beauty. There also lies an underlying feeling of grief and haunting. Years ago the churches and such were the centre of the community where marriage and birth were highly celebrated and others were laid to rest. A religious building is what covers all of life as we know it.

 

In the above picture is the gateway to the city,  A huge castle like building with 2 tunnels going through it have to be passed to get in or out of the centre of Canterbury.

Canterbury is a mix of both modern and historical buildings. I love the way Starbucks on the right looks so old amongst the traditional architecture. But as it is a highly historical place with so much in it's past, they have abandoned the normal look with the SB logo and gone for something a lot more traditional looking. I like it alot. :)

We got back fairly latish on that evening so M-I-L stayed over night. This gave hubby and I an oppertunity to go out for the evening. We went to our favourite local Indian restaurant and had a couple of drinks in the local pub afterwards. It was a lovely relaxing night after a long and busy day.

Yesterday we went into our local town of Sudbury. A small town just 2 miles away, not quite so historic but it's our local place to shop:

It's a nice little town with just about everything you need. I took the boys into town on Tuesday by bus and they loved it. I grew up with busses and take them for granted but for a  2 and a 3 year old used to travelling by car, they found it very exciting being on a bus. After town yesterday we took M-I-L home and collected Matthew from my nans before taking the kids out for a meal. Having not seen much of Matthew in the last few days we wanted to spoil him a little. 

Hubby is back at work today and I intend to take it nice and easy today with maybe a walk to the shops being the only plan of the day. I need to catch up on housework and get my fluids up. I normally drink a fair bit at home, coffee and water mainly but having 2 days out, I feel I have become dehydrated. I would normally drink between 6-10 drinks a day. Those busy days probably pushed at 4 drinks a day. 

 

My body was certainly telling me this last night when I felt like I was starting to get a water infection. I can only put it down to lack of fluids. There's nothing worse than feeling like you need to go to the toilet and you can't. Luckily, I know my body well enough to recognise the early onset of such a thing and upped my liquid intake immediately. Today I feel better in the bladder area than before and I hope that I have prevented an infection by just being sensible and takingcontrol of a minor issue before the issue took control of me.

Medical This, Gadget That and Everything Else In Between

For a good few days I have been wanting to write, I just haven't had the right words so I apologise if all this seems jumbled and a little thrown together. That's just how I am at the moment.

I have so much going through my mind, so many things I want to do, so many things I should do, I just don't have the energy. I probably have the time (even if I do spend my days wandering around doing things for the kids) I just don't do what I need to sometimes.

Tomorrow is the anniversary of my Grandads sudden death last year. That's had me thinking about life and "things" alot. We were lucky to have him in our lives and he was lucky that he didn't suffer a long illness with lots of pain and medication. My grandad loved playing a card game called crib. Years ago he taught me and I ended up playing in a team with him. I was in the team from when I was 16 until I had Matthew 7 years later. We saw a couple of players pass away over the years, including two in our own team. Ken was a good man and I worked for his daughter at one stage too, he died of a heart attack aged 58 about 5 years ago. I am still in contact with his daughter via facebook. Anyway, back to the point (I've already apologised for my thoughts being all over the place - so again sorry!) when my grandad died suddenly they continued with the team. After a few weeks they were struggling to get enough people together and gradually they stopped playing. This has upset me rather a lot. A lot more than I imagined. He played crib since the late 1940's and every Tuesday evening for over 40 years he would play crib. It's like another part of him has gone and been buried. Of course, finding out the week of the anniversary has probably been why this has had such a profound effect, another time I'd think it sad that something he had done for enjoyment for so long finishing would be sad, this week it's really been a shock. Just like a few months after his death, his old workplace where he finished off before retirement burnt to the ground. Little things bring back memories.

As Made by Nicola of NikNak designs for me a memorial last year. I thank her so much for this. x

Tomorrow I intend to phone my nan, I hope I don't get upset as I have been having "moments" this week. I worry about my nan. I know she is getting on well but she was there when it all happened (52 weeks ago today - the date anniversary tomorrow) and whilst my uncle is taking her out for dinner today and my mum has a day off work and will visit her tomorrow, I don't want her to think we're not thinking of her.

So, what's been going on besides me turning all sentimental and dwelling on the past?

SNOW!

And tons of it.

It started last Saturday night and snowed through to early hours on Sunday morning creating about 6 inches of it in the meantime.

The school was open on Monday but I couldn't even get the buggy onto the main paths so the kids got a day off.

Tuesday James went back but Matthew wasn't well so he got a second day off. After school James (with a lot of help from mummy) made a snowman:

James really enjoyed being out in the snow. He did the carrot nose, and I used a tomato chopped in half for the eyes. My scarf will need a wash once "Snowman" as James creatively named him disappears. He's still going strong even if the birds did peck his eyes off and he now sits in a large green patch as the grass is through.

Liam also loved the snow. You know it's cold out when a two year old keeps n his hat and gloves all the time.His delight was shown by the shouting of  "Issstmas!!!!!" thinking Christmas had come back.

We got a letter through about Liams hospital appointment and have had to reschedule it. They booked it for the one week hubby is doing a training course for his work. Abso-frickin-lutely typical. We have requested that the appointment could happen in the week commencing 6th April as hubby has a full week off work and he can travel anytime then. As it's an outpatients appointment, they are expected to book in by 7.15am. This is a good 90 minutes drive away so it will be an early start and I still have the other two and school to think of so hubby will have to take him by himself.

I also got a phonecall from the Mental Health Services regarding Matthews behaviour. It IS ADHD so he's now being referred to a local ADHD specialist at a meeting that will happen tomorrow. The first step now is for me to attend parenting classes on how to offer more support to Matthew and get some support myself. It's something I've been working towards for a long time, it's good to know that people have listened and seen some of the difficulties I face on a day to day basis. It would be good too if I could find people I can talk to about my struggles too.The school have been great and made me feel so much better. For a long time I've felt such guilt that I find Matthew hard work. That I shouldn't be struggling as my kids get older. That I am noticing more than ever that James and Liam are so much calmer and think things through compared to Matthew. They can sit still. They can complete tasks. They can do as they are told. I know it's never right for a mother to confess to having a favourite child, but it really hurts to think that you think of one of your OWN 3 children as being your least favourite. The guilt I have felt over that over the past couple of years has been immense. I never had a problem when it was just Matthew but seeing how kids can behave when they don't have behavioural issues was a huge eye opener as my babies turned into toddlers and now little boys themselves. I've felt really bad about alot of things and I don't want it to bounce back onto Matthew as it's NOT his fault in the slightest. I've done my best by him as much as I possibly could but now is an oppertunity for me to really help and become stronger and understand his little world a little more.

In happier news (that hasn't messed with my emotions this week) I have a new Iphone. For 11 months I have had no working mobile. The contract came to an end last March and I didn't renew it. People were able to call me but I couldn't call out. In fact my mobile phone became my watch and alarm clock. Then the kids smashed the touchscreen top last week.

I never thought I had much need for an iphone. I never really missed my old phone but hubby got a good deal through work so we both got one. I've been playing with it far too much and spending less time on the pc hence the lack of updates here. I like the city building and animal building games far too much and facebook etc is available to all. I've barely used the phone itself but the apps are very good. Haha. So much for me not being a gadget girl!

This week we are doing Valentines a day later than normal. Some silly girl (ie Me) booked a driving lesson for the morning after so that bottle of wine in the fridge will be enjoyed more after the lesson. I am cooking a nice meal for the two of us. I look forward to it.